The STALKERs of Zero
by Smuggler of the West
Summary: When Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière wanted a wise, powerful, and beautiful familiar to call her own, an unlikely incident happened within the borders of the Zone and elsewhere, plucking three unlikely stalkers and a destined kid in Japan from their world and into her's. Shots will fly, s#!% will explode, and there will be bandit polka. Contains 100% of pure ass kicking.
1. Chapter 1: Clear as the Skies above

A/N: _I do not own the STALKER series and Familiar of Zero. All OC contents are created and owned by me. This story will be based heavily on the manga, partial from the anime, and includes violent shenanigans improvised from my thoughts mixed with the gritty reality that is the Zone. Some elements will follow Clear Sky, Shadow of Chernobyl, and Call of Pripyat. All weapons, armor, anomalies, and artifacts will follow CoP rules, with the exception of callbacks. Factions may vary. _

_Please leave any critique so I might fix anything I've missed. If you have any problem identifying the words used, Google it or use your imagination._

_That is all._

_Edit: Portions of the Light Novel will be added, after much considerations, into the later arcs of the story.  
><em>

Chapter 1

**Clear as the Skies above**

* * *

><p>Clear sky.<p>

That is always a good omen for me whenever I go out to find artifacts as per usual before or after an emission. I hardly go outside when it rains or when Noah is sometimes heard preaching on top of his 'ark' about his hypocritical hatred for all mutants, despite owning one when I heard a stalker mentioning it to his buddies. Funny enough, the swarming of mutants did happen not too long ago after the news of important military soldiers pulling from the Zone in Pripyat. It was a good thing I was inside the Skadovsk during that time of terror. The damn Snorks clawing at the front door kept me up all night in fear that one might sneak in through topside and eat my face off.

My boots landed on the rusted steel floors of the derelict ship as my nostrils flared at the familiar scent of fresh wind blowing inside. The door closed with a resounding slam while I perched my ears to make sure that loon isn't going off his meds today. With no signs of any indicated ranting, I gave a quiet sigh of satisfaction at the calm before me and walked out to the opens of the swamp lands. The smell of the swampy air wasn't exactly invigorating, but it held that particular detail that tends to leave me guessing all the time. Sometimes it would smell like rotten eggs coated with a sickening sweet texture. Other times, it would be industrial hair spray and cinnamon. The list would go on and on. I've asked the others about it, but they never seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary beside wet and boggy. It could just be me, for all I know, but I wasn't going to pay any mind to it now since today was a special day for me.

Today is the day I get my high-end order from Nimble after he gets back tonight.

Now, I'm not one to brag since _anyone_ can just buy special merchandises from him, but this one was different. Nimble knew I had a thing for owning historical items. The reason for that was easily known when I pulled out a brass pocket watch from the pocket of my leather jacket, completed with a fob and chain, on the upper deck where he usually resided in. I was checking the time and realized that the clock had stopped so I winded it up to keep it ticking once more. The little watch caught his eye and he had asked me if I liked watches. I told him I was into old stuff that holds a history in them. Being the shady salesman that he is, he offered me a deal that was expensive, but "worth the money" as he put it. Nimble explained that he could get me a good suit of battle armor with a balance of both anomalous and fighting capabilities that held a long history of its own during the early times of the Zone.

Hearing that, I was suspicious since I heard rumors that most of his 'acquired' items came from dead stalkers pilfered from their bodies so I had my doubts at first. He reassured me that his business is legit, stating that he had conducted previous sales with full customer satisfaction; the only setback was that I would have to play item roulette with my rubles due to the fact that what I would be getting at random, I will have to pay for it when it comes whether it fit me or not.

Then again, most of what I saw from the Loners and, surprisingly, Bandits, were unique and better than the stock equipment everyone owned. When I asked some of them, they mentioned about a special dealer usually hanging around the top deck above the bar. Of course, I was curious but dismissed the idea that I would ever need a bedazzled, shiny piece of equipment to improve my chances of survival.

So what made me go up there; Happy Hours.

Yes, there is such thing as that in the Zone. No, the 100 Rads Bar is not the only popular place that does it. Let's just say I'm not exactly into large crowds, _especially_ large crowds with bandits inside the rusted sanctuary at night.

Barks of blind dogs can be heard at a far distance from where I am at and yet I kept walking across the marshlands, avoiding the various pools of water around me while keeping an eye for any appearance of danger that might or might not leap at me at any given moment. Like always, the weather was cold and breezy as a small gust brushed past me and I shivered for a bit while pressing onward Northwest to the Burnt Farmstead.

"50,000 rubles better be worth whatever the hell I am getting." I muttered behind the balaclava through clenched teeth.

50,000. That is enough dough to buy me a good TV set or a brand new futon that even folds properly! 9,000 for down payment while 41,000 for the final purchase. As much as I wanted to believe myself that he wasn't swindling me out of my money, I still doubted that he could get me a suit that wasn't a piece of shit falling apart inside. That would leave me with 10,000 rubles, enough to last for a few more months if I have a decent shooter (which is being modified by Cardan right now) and some ammo. Hopefully, I can recover my funding by just artifact hunting since Beard pays good on specific finds.

My ears picked up shots fired in barrages at the Farmstead when I was close to getting there. Quickly I ran over to a nearby bush and hid behind the dry cover to avoid being spotted by whoever was firing in the first place. As I peered over the edge, I saw a couple of black trench coaters with AKM-74/2Us fighting three Loners armed with Hunting Shotguns and an AKM-74/2. I can tell one of them is definitely experienced since he is wearing a Sunrise suit and holding an assault rifle, while the other two are obviously rookies. The bandits, on the other hand, are also experienced with the way they are constantly strafing while moving forward. I'll admit, skirmishes like these are something I don't just head straight on guns blazing like those American bootlegs shown on TV and I have no qualms waiting them out so I can continue on to what I am doing, so for now I will just sit on my ass and watch the show until one side is the victor.

Call me a heartless bastard or a coward if you will, but I'm just playing it smart so I can live longer. Besides, I'm poorly covered and I only have a UDP Compact on me with three mags to spare; my Viper got demolished beyond repair when a boar stepped on it, alright?

One of the rookies fell with bloody holes riddling his torso while the other tried to use the low ground for cover. The sunrise fellow managed to down a bandit before receiving a bullet to the face from his pissed off buddy. That now leaves one trench coater and a rookie who might as well be shitting himself for his turn of an unfortunate event. If I were him, I would be running away as fast as my legs can carry me.

And what does he do? He just keeps fighting on as if his vengeance will meant anything instead of taking the easy way out. What an idiot.

"Eat this, scum!" The doomed rookie shouted angrily as he took out a grenade, unpinned it, and lob the live frag at the surprised bandit.

"Oh shit!" The bandit scurried away from becoming meat patty. The grenade soon exploded, throwing up dirt in the air but it did not harm the man at all. Lucky him, I guess.

Hah…

Well, let see who lives and who dies. I got the time.

* * *

><p><em>Zero! The nerve of them to call me that name!<em>

Louise Françoise Le Blancde La Valliére, or the Zero as most of Tristain student's called her, stormed into her room and slam the door shut. She was seething over the mockingly given runic name they provided and hastily undressed her school uniform to change into a night gown. With an irritated sigh, she hoisted herself up and under the soft covers of the bed and stared off the wall. Tomorrow will be the Springtime Familiar Summoning Ritual exam for second years in the academy and what have she done to solve her mishaps?

Even with all the extended studies and research, Louise still couldn't figure out her inability to cast magic. With every casting, only explosions were the results of her failure. The rest of her peers can cast their spells just fine, so why couldn't she do the same like them?

The name title continued to echo in her mind, causing her to tighten her grip on the blanket and her face to strain in frustration. Damn that Zerbst and her useless chest fat she always flaunts around to get attention. She will not lose against her, even if the family feud must go on longer. The Rule of Steel enforces her will to never give up or show weakness.

She will show them all what a great and honorable noble is made of by summoning the wisest, powerful, and beautiful familiar that will give its full loyalty to her at every command. Just they wait.

Louise turned her gaze toward her window where the moons hung magnificently amidst by the young night and smiled at the sight. Perhaps fate and the will of Brimir might answer her prayers after all if she keeps going to meet her goals.

Perhaps. Perhaps not. She will have to see to it for herself when the day comes.

Her eyelids grew heavier as she slowly sank into a deep sleep, some part of her desperately wanting a miracle to happen just to save face and not deal with the ridicule anymore.

If all goes well, her family will be proud of her success. Mother would not be disappointed at her lack of magic.

_My very own majestic familiar_…

* * *

><p>So, here I am watching these two duking it out for who knows how long and so far not one of them is dead yet. Despite how ill-equipped the rookie was, I am a little surprised this one is still breathing after all the beatings he is taking. A bullet wound on his left leg, a couple splotches on the right shoulder. At this point, he should have been on the ground with injuries like those. The bandit isn't faring any better since he's sporting a bad leg as well from a well-placed pellet spray. Now and then, they would trade insults between shots like "You son of a bitch" or "Suck my cock", blah blah blah; this and that, pretty much. It kind of reminds me of that bitch fight Duty and Freedom will usually have when one of the greenies would bring up the 'Tachenko Scandal' as they liked to call it. From what I heard, the General and his close-knitted elite team died like bitches and that Duty tried to cover it up with a weak-ass story of how he disappeared during one of their artifact hunts. I thought it was funny how ironic the original founder's goal of an organization bent on destroying the Zone was no different than ours.<p>

The rookie with the hunting shotgun finally took the hint that he was fucked when a bullet landed in his gut and he fell down in a crying heap of pain. Trench coater puts away his AK carbine and unholsters his pistol for the final kill. His corny attempt at an evil laughter almost made me groan aloud. Why is it that nearly every bandit needs to pretend they did something notorious that it should be a big deal to everyone?

He finally got close (probably too close, in my opinion) enough to aim his peashooter directly (and I mean 'point blank range') at the heavily wounded loner and wanted to provide a one-liner before shooting him in the face. I could only roll my eyes as I carefully walked out from the bush and quietly make my way toward him while he tries to find a good quote to use. My right hand reached for the Compact at my side and I grasped the handle with a slow pull, the thumb flicking the safety off as I got closer.

My feet treaded the ground with ease while I kept my eyes on his backside. When I was at a considerable distance, I stopped and aimed my pistol at the unwary sap who finally decided to come up with a catchphrase that even I was left impressed with even if he is a thug. Well, soon-to-be-dead one anyway…

"The Zone says hello, bit-"

_Pafpafpafpafpafpafpafpaf!_

Boy, if I could see the look on his face, he would be pretty surprised to have half a clip emptied at his back by automatic fire. I will have to thank Nitro again if I ever decided to stop by Yanov. Yeah, it is overkill and I should be conserving ammo for later times but hey at least I get to have my fun. The pistol itself has two settings, so if I wanted to single fire then I'll switch to it. Besides, I can always scavenge off from dead bandits and loners much like what I intend to do right now after I dealt with the wounded rookie.

Judging from the glare I'm receiving from him as I approach, I can assume he knows or heard of me during my first stay or so.

Nonetheless, loners never kill one another over anything; even I have standards for this, unlike those trigger happy mercenaries and their 'shoot everyone on sight' policy. Sidorovich and Barkeep are only worried about other stalkers because it might interfere with their business. In a way, that is understandable. But it is not something I would totally agree with.

"Hey bro," I try to make myself look conspicuously friendly even though I was still holding on to my gun, "you're not hurt too badly, yeah? You… need some help?"

"Shove it! I know who you are!" He spat out.

"C'mon, I just heard the commotion. It's not like I'm going to kill you or anything."

"So says the _Farmer_." Huh, shit. "I've heard talks about you. Skulking around, waiting out for every fight just to take what you want." The rookie moaned at the intense pain coming from the wounds he sustained.

I could only give a nonchalant shrug at his comment. What he said is _mostly_ true to some extents of my dirty means of getting stuff. I have no shame, but I don't see any reason for him to get angry at me for wanting to live. It's not like I conned him with shitty equipment or trick people into giving me their guns like Snag.

"Just so you know… I don't just follow people around in hopes of getting free shit. That happens when I stumble upon these situations and take advantage of it." I gave a half murmur and replaced my gun with a med kit in hand when I pulled it out of my backpack. "It's not my problem if I don't want to risk my neck out for others."

In an ironic twist, what I just said now was pure hypocrisy. It's true that I rather watch them shoot at each other and take their belongings once everyone is dead. It is true that I have the attitude of a loner, but a mindset of a bandit. If I truly didn't care about my fellow loners, I could've left him for dead by not helping. Saying what I said while applying the disinfectant and bandages may probably confuse him.

"If you don't care, then why are helping me?" The rookie hissed, wincing at the tight wrap I was making.

I rolled my eyes. "Do I look that apathetic? If I was in your situation, you might, and I am putting this lightly, _might_ help me out despite my questionable reputation." Which sort of means that I would have to owe them something out of my pocket.

Speaking of which, a dead stalker is no good if they owe you favors in the first place or when they are going to owe you one. See, I can be good and tricky at the same time.

With a few more wraps, I stood up and examine my work. "Eh, it'll do. Just make sure you get those bullets out later. Nothing major is hit, but you will need someone who knows better than me to confirm it."

"Thanks, I guess…" The man grumbled at me in a mixture of gratitude and anger. I'm not sure how these two go together, but as the Americans say: 'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

"So," Brushing my hands together, "I hope you don't mind if I look through your friend's belongings, hm?" My eyes shifted to the AKM-74/2 still gripped in deceased sunrise wearer's fingers. I can tell he wasn't exactly happy with my statement. "Since… well, you do kind of owe me now."

If looks can kill, I might say his would be shooting out like jet streams of Burners at the Burnt Farmstead. My hands were raised at the renewed hostility.

"Relax. I just want food, meds, and bullets. You can have the AR and whatnot. Hell, why don't you sift through your dead friend's stuff while I focus on the bandits. Anything you leave behind I will take, deal?"

With a defeated sigh, he let out a quiet "Fine" and took the assault rifle with him while digging through the bags. As for me, I opted for the bandit on my far left and went through the body to see if he has anything useful. What I need is 5.45mm bullets, maybe a little more .45 cals, bandages, med kits (if I am lucky), and some Tourist's Breakfasts. I could use some bread as well, but I rather buy them from the bar than take them off dead bodies; it's unsanitary.

I rummage inside the bag and found some mags of 19x9mm JHP and a Martha that have seen better days, so I ditch the gun itself and took the remaining mag instead. A couple mags for the carbine AK was also found along with an RGD-5 grenade, but no food or meds sadly enough. Like the Martha, the AK-74/2U was beaten up and held little value for me to sell so I did the same as I always do. After that was done I move on to the second bandit, near the rookie, who was splayed on the ground in a comical position. I emptied the contents of the bag on the ground and saw a Kora-919 drop out, among other things. A few mags for the AK and Kora, two bandages, a med kit, and a diet sausage that I don't think I will keep because of germs and stuff. The guns themselves are fine, but I went for the AK since Koras are kind of shitty when it comes to hitting your mark and fire rate.

"I'm done." The rookie loner said to me, got up, and went toward the farmstead with a Bear Detector in hand. I soon did a look over though the other two bodies and found nothing of use for me other than the shotgun. It was in near perfect condition, so maybe I can hold on to that and sell it to Owl once I get back. The AK-74/U2 that I have isn't good at hitting things and is not as reliable like its bigger counterpart because overheat is a bitch, but I could always use a backup rifle just in case. If not, then I can just salvage it as well.

Pulling out my Veles Detector and a bolt after I strapped the guns on my pack (making sure to eject any rounds for safety reasons), I noted the green dots displayed on the screen and headed toward the anomaly field but kept watch on any disturbance of flowing air currents. You can never be too careful around things such as anomalies. In every emission they change spots so it is always better if you can identify the signs of where they are. One guy I was with in my past travels, provided that he never heard or cared about my rep, got one of his foot incinerated when he stepped too close to a Burner while tracking a moving artifact. The moment he fell down, his head landed on another one and that was the end of it for him. As for me, most of everyone thought I killed him and stayed away after that incident. Now and then rumors would spread on how much of a psychopath I am for not caring. Personally, I just didn't give a fuck what they say and went on my merry ways as usual.

I did _warn_ him that he was stepping too close, but did he listen? Noooooo!

. . .

. . .

Frickin' background whispering... drives me nuts sometimes. I wonder if it's the heat getting to me.

* * *

><p>There he goes again… the sneaky Small Farmer, reaping his crops as always. Heard he has quite the collection of artifacts in his trunk. Might need to keep following him until the day is done and he goes back to shipwreck haven just like all the other stalkers. It is only just a matter of time before the night comes and then the plan can be set into action.<p>

A slim man in a bandit jacket hidden underneath a black trench coat watched through his binoculars while laying prone one the ground. Another person next to him, in a brown BDU mercenary suit, sat against the sloped hills to cover the openings around them and briefly scanned with his Viper 5 at the ready.

"Boss," he asked him, "when do we rob him? All this sitting around is making me antsy."

The leader of this particular group muttered "Soon" and still didn't take his eyes off the two loners going on their business as usual.

"But how soon do we go?"

"As soon as we corner the Farmer inside Skadovsk and take his artifacts after night falls and everyone is asleep. The haven welcomes all of us, so there should not be any problems getting in. There we will find him and make him squeal until he caves in." The boss explained.

"I see now. That is a perfect plan there, boss."

"Of course it is perfect," He interjected, "too perfect for us to mess it up! No one would suspect two more bandits without a second glance, simple as that."

"Yes, of course." His lackey agreed and went silent.

Keep gathering those artifacts, Farmer. Soon, what is yours will be ours and when you come around again, we will be long gone by then. It would be fitting if you have the background of one, which will even be more amusing to no end. Muhahahahahaha!

Hopefully, Sultan does not take notice of us treading on his territory. Stalkers may not care who they shoot at as long as they are bandits, but the old coot pays more attention to what is going on. The very last thing is to have a hit placed on us.

"Looks like they are going to move on to another anomaly for harvest, Dwarf; let us do the same."

"Sure thing, Shishak," Dwarf replied right away.

Yes, everything is going according as planned. I'll show that Jack and his merry band of dumb shits who is the better thief, me!

* * *

><p>…seven mags from the AK carbines, two mags from the Kora, three from the Martha, an explosive grenade, one Fireball, one Mama's Beads, and a Crystal. Not bad for this run. A bit plentiful than the previous trek when all I found in the Scar Anomaly is a Moonlight and a Bubble inside the underground cavern of the farmstead. The long walk combined with the exposure from the noxious gases and pounding headaches would not be possible without drugs, since I had to scrap my sunrise and gas mask due to the damages of corrosion and large tears. At least Anti-rads, Antidotes, and Hercules are cheap here even though Owl is still a cash whore.<p>

"Are you going to keep watch or stare off at nothing?" My supposed 'travel companion' barked at me in annoyance when we left not far from the farmstead.

Oh yeah, that. Why am I following him?

"Dude, you must be crazy enough to head for another anomaly field, much less the Claw Anomaly." I pointed at his bullet wounds. "With all the shit you took, it's no wonder you're still standing."

He gave me a death glare in return, "Well, maybe if someone actually _bothered_ to help out, then I would not be like this in the first place!"

"Fair enough." I shrugged. "I'm kind of surprised you didn't shoot me when given the chance."

"I need another pair of eyes to watch out for anything that can kill us." He said and did his half walk/limp hobble. "And since you did heal me, I am willing to set aside our differences for the time being."

Which explains why I'm heading there with him; both of us made plans for that area.

. . .

Huh, for someone who was pissed at me for not backing up others during fights, he sure is pretty chill about leaving his dead friends lying there.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to judge heavily on what other people do. I just thought it would be more respectful if he toss their bodies into the Burner anomalies for cremation.

Or… maybe he doesn't want to deal with the smells. Burning flesh can be very nauseating, obviously.

We moved past Izumrudnoye, making sure no mutants sprung out from the covers of the long deserted village and kept following the path to where the Fuel Station is at. So far, nothing out of the ordinary beside a few passing loners who gave me dirty looks to which I ignored. Thankfully, no bandit patrols were present but I was not going to let my guard down in this land. The Zone isn't exactly a walk in the park as most wide-eyed rookies failed to see. When I was told by Fanatic that I was heading into a place where weird shit goes on in a daily basis, he wasn't kidding around. Imagine trying to eat something that used to be a normal pig. Fleshes, they call them. God, the moment I saw one of these things I thought it was an oversized Head Crab with eyes from that game I played.

Makes me regret on not bringing a crowbar with me at that time since all I had was a measly PMn pistol and a knife in the beginning. I should have asked that fat old man if he sold crowbars.

Hmm, maybe I can ask Owl about that later.

I did a quick glance to the rookie and noted how crappy and beaten the AK-74/2 looked cradled in his arms. I don't know about him, but that thing needs some serious tune-up if he plans on keeping it for long terms. This gives me an idea.

"Hey, if you want, I can fix that shooter up for you. Buff out the chips and scratches, replace some worn parts, and give it a good cleaning… etcetera. It's gonna cost you, though."

He scoffed at my offer and muttered something about a Cardan knock-off under his breath. Fine, I was going to charge him cheaper than what our technician's prices usually are but if he thinks I can't repair a gun properly than it's his loss. Granted, I'm not as precise much like how Cardan does it, but I don't doubt my skills in fixing up a battered shooter into working conditions; all I need are parts. I don't know how to modify the guns, though, so that's leave me at a disadvantage.

I took out my pocket watch to check the time and saw it was only mid-afternoon, 4:00 PM to be exact. The sun was still high, if I could call the cloudy atmosphere above us that. He and I were almost drawing near the Claw Anomaly field right before a small pack of blind dogs wandered across the path and suddenly charged at us. For me, three dogs with 8 bullets left in the mag seemed too easy. Add the automatic fire feature and a second guy covering my back, and look like another day for us. Unfortunately the guy I am with is still fucked up from the last shooting and those dogs are closing in fast. Put two together and I am definitely positive most of the work will be piled on me. Oh well.

_Bap-bap-bapbapbap!_

_Pafpafpafpafpafpafpafpaf!_

The guy next to me brought his rifle to bear, firing some clumsy shots at our charging attackers, while I did the same and let loose a barrage of bullets hoping that most of them will connect.

Under our combined firepower, two dogs were down while the third sported a limp from a couple grazes at close range. It was still charging at us, directly toward me, and there was no time to reload. I was about to bring my knife out until it leapt and made me fallback.

Fortunately for me, the ground was dry. Unfortunately, there is now a vicious blind dog bearing down on my body and trying to rip my throat and/or eat my face out in any order I should not be concerning myself with right now. My dumbfounded buddy is now trying to decide whether he should wrestle the dog off me, which by the way will set its attention on him, or shoot it, possibly killing me in the process. Yeah, good luck for him.

For me, however, attempting to dislodge agile animals off me was simple enough. The most effective area in stunning a dog is to hit the throat and wrestle it to the ground while repeatedly punching the fucker in the face. Yelling the most brutal swears you can think of also works better to your advantage with every hit, but that is optional.

To which I did, because I obviously don't want to die and punching things to death makes a great stress reliever. Plus, I get to work out my body since the Zone can be considered an extreme workout routine with everything and everyone trying to kill you. Even most of the artifacts you find generate radiation and will kill you slowly without another one to soak it up from your body. It's funny how a Firefly can heal AND poison you at the same time or a Snowflake giving you the stamina of an adrenaline junkie on crack while you suffer the withdrawals at the end. Not the best analogy, but I'm not a walking book full of puns and poetry.

"I think it's dead." Hm? What was that? "Bro, you don't need to keep smacking it anymore..."

When stopped at that statement, I look down to find my handy work bloodied and battered to the point where I did not notice my hands were starting to hurt until now.

Oh.

"Ow."

"Wow. Is that all you can say? 'Ow'?" He deadpanned, probably a self-defense mechanism for how freaked out he must be, and checked his mag when he realized he was standing there watching the whole time.

"Oh, shut up. It's not like you did anything to get it off me." I snapped back and picked myself up. Brushing the dirt off my body, along with wiping the blood off my knuckles, I fished out a mag from my coat pocket and reloaded my pistol. After that, I readjusted my backpack and ushered him to come.

"Let's get going while there is still light. I rather not stay out here when night comes around."

Wordlessly, he agreed and we set out to the Claw once more.

If I could ever call Zaton my home, I'd probably find it more comforting being here than from my previous stay at the Yanov station. I mean, it was great and everything until I got tired of the bantering between Duty and Freedom across the main room. The little war they were currently having didn't help me in my search as I, strangely enough, tend to be caught in almost every crossfire during my travels to the Quarry for a Firefly. Long story short, I got what I was looking for after a few visits but I ended up in the middle of another unwanted firefight with Duty and Freedom going at it again. At least they had the decency to warn me before they opened fire at each other. Yeah, I'm pretty sure "Get out of here, Stalker!" and "Dude, catch ya later for another blunt if you're not dead yet!" seems like a reaaaaaal legitimate warning for me right after the shooting begins. How I wish they stopped waving their dicks around and focus on the killer mutants plaguing the area. Fucking Bloodsuckers…

Oh well, just another day in the Zone.

"Looks like we're here," The rookie whose name I do not know pointed at the oddly shaped rock formation that resembled its namesake, hence the Claw. Wasting no time, we scanned around the area for anyone or anything only to meet a calm hum of Spingboards.

I checked my Compact again before we begin our search for artifacts and gestured to him that the coast was clear.

"Careful, there might be Snorks hanging around inside their nest. Let's just do our thing and get out." My head panned around for any signs of movement at the cavern. "God, I hate those things."

"Welcome to the club," he grunted and waved his detector at the Springboards.

A brief moment of silence, albeit the beeping from his Bear, lasted between us and I suddenly felt the urge to start talking again while I maneuver around the anomalies.

"I never got your name, by the way." I asked. "You a newbie here?"

A faint rush of air blew from his mouth as he turned his to me, "Ruslan Oleksander. How about you? Why do the people here call you 'Farmer'?"

"That is my last name. My first is Pavlo. Pavlo Yure." I mentioned it off-handedly. "I guess you can say I like to hang around the Farmstead to pick my 'crops', hence the name."

"Oh? Does that also explain why you never help others around?"

"Hey, I mind my own business. Do you think I will just rush into a fight without a good reason?" I had to put away my gun and detector in order to climb the Claw and reach for that one artifact on top of the peak. "And even if I do have one, what makes you think I'm doing it out of the goodness of my heart? The Zone does not just let everyone walk away unscathed. Here, you have to make hard choices if you want to stay alive and get rich."

Avoiding that one Springboard next to me, I took out my Veles and out comes a Wrenched popping from another existence. I don't know how that is possible, but I'm not going to bother with physics. Science made it happened. There.

"I heard rumors about you," Ruslan called from below, scooping a Gravi off the floor. "They say you would kill anyone for an artifact just by pushing them into an anomaly once they found it."

A wave of frustration (and possibly nausea) washed over me when I heard him say that. I gritted my teeth slightly instead of answering right away. Only one dot remained on the screen when my eyes veered toward it.

"So, is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"That you push people into anomalies?"

. . .

"Where did you get that from?" I asked him, keeping myself cool from snapping out of annoyance.

"I overheard Magpie mention it to his hunting friends." Oh, _him_. "Before he kicked it after Gonta found him."

I let out a large sigh to let him know how irritated I am before speaking again, "No, I do _not_ push people into anomalies just to steal their artifacts. I never killed anyone beside the bandits here. Also, Magpie was a shit-eating liar who didn't know how to keep his filthy hole for a mouth shut. Now, is there anything else you want to know about me, hmmmm!?"

Gah, I hate it when I get testy over small things. Some are easy to ignore, but when it comes out wrong I get easily upset.

"Alright, alright, chill bro! I'm just making sure you're not a psycho or anything." Yeah, that is putting it very _lightly_.

I climbed down the sloped peak, making sure not to touch the floating Springboard, and landed on the ground next to Oleksander peering into the empty cavity filled with more anomalies. The sound of our Geiger counters clicked at a nearly fast pace the more we got closer to it. Note to self: remember to buy rad-pro pills next time. Anti-rad shots can only last me so far and they are not easy to find.

Ruslan rubbed his hands together, "Seems like we're done for the day."

"Nope," I shook my head and pointed at the screen of my detector, "only one more left."

"Then what are you waiting for? Go get it." He flicked his head to reinforce the message.

Instead, I just stared at him with a devious glint in my eyes while I offered the detector to him. "I have a better idea. Why don't you get it for yourself? Score something big. I bet you it's a Goldfish."

This took him by surprise at my generous offer, given so freely and out of nowhere that he could only manage a suspicious glare directed at me. "H-how do I know this isn't a-a trick?"

My face formed a smirk behind the balaclava while I gestured him to take it. "You want me to prove how trustworthy I am, then go for it. I'll even give you an anti-rad once you're out. You can still walk, right?"

"Y-yes…"

"Good. Just get the artifact while I cover you. Better make it fast; it is starting to get dark now."

He looked at the screen, then to the pit, then at me, and back at the screen again. Judging from the nervous glances casted around I say he was a bit hesitant to go in there. Looks like I'll have to prod him a bit more.

"Look, if you don't want it then I can just take it and-"

"No, no. I'll do it." He snatched the Veles out of my hand, then jab his index at my chest. "This better not be a trick."

"Oh, believe me, it's not. I'm just getting tired of people accusing me for a backstabber. Once they figured someone in my group, provided it is just the two of us, actually manage to live and score a whopping rare artifact, I won't have to deal with those assholes glaring at me anymore." My explanation left him with an eyebrow raised. "See what I mean?"

With a heavy sigh, Ruslan threw a bolt to find an opening. Once that is done, he carefully climbed down the Claw's cavity pit and continued to fling another one while checking on the Veles I let him borrowed.

"Oh, and when you're done making sure you don't die horribly in there, I would like to have my detector back." I called out.

"Haha fuck you." He replied back.

"Thanks." I glanced up at the sky. The sun had just set and it was only a matter of time before the spooks of the night come out to play. I wasn't planning on staying out here any longer if he took his time. Even if I don't get my Veles back, I can find another exo-zombie later and replace it.

"Got it!" Well, about time. "You were right, it is a Goldfish!"

"Swell. Now climb out so we can get the hell out of here. I think I heard some growling from the cave." My eyes kept looking towards the entrance of the Snork tunnel as I flick the setting to automatic just in case. "Once we get back to Skadovsk, cash it or keep it. I don't care. Standing near the radiation is making me feel like shit."

I'll worry more about cancer later. All I want now is to make like a tree and fucking leave.

Looking back down, I noticed he was near the edge and help pulled him up rather hastily. He winced a little from the sudden tug, but said nothing to me.

"Good." I took an anti-rad shot out and give it to him. "This will flush out all the radioactive crap and then some. Can we go now?"

The distant snarls echoed out of the cave as a cue for us to make a fucking run it as the first gas-masked horror came leaping out for its first meal of the day.

"OH FUCK!" Both of us yelled in unison.

* * *

><p>"Oh fuck," I breathed a sigh of relief while leaning against the now sealed bulkhead door. Some of the early arrivals chuckled at me before returning back to whatever they were doing.<p>

Pricks.

"Here." A Veles detector was shoved back in my hands. "Thanks for the help, _partner_."

Ruslan walked away to the bar, probably selling the artifact he got (with my help, of course) while I stood away from the door and opted for the wall instead. A few painful seconds from a needle stinging my thigh and I felt fresh as rain all over again. Discarding the used shot in a garbage can, my tired legs carried me to the now empty counter as I place all the artifacts I found, except for the Mama's Beads, and let Beard do the calculations.

"Do you want it as electronic transfer or cash?" Beard asked.

"Cash," I replied, "Full cash, please."

He examined my findings and took them in one by one, placing two considerable stacks of Rubles that netted me 11,200. Add that up with the 10,000 and it is 21,200 RUs. I still have to leave out the larger portion to pay Nimble.

"So, I heard you helped a rookie find a rare artifact, is that right?" Damn him and his cheeky grin.

The only words he could elicit out of me were a few grunts that sounded like "The usual meal" and "Stop patronizing me" while I shoved most of the earnings inside my coat pockets and left some amount to pay for my food. Beard took the sum, making sure to count the amount, and took out a loaf of bread, an unopened Tourist's Breakfasts, and a bottle of water from underneath the counter. I took a gander around and saw that all the tables were packed with stalkers I don't know, newbies hanging out with their groups, and the occasional bandits that I recognized giving me the finger.

"You can eat here; I don't mind. Just scoot on the side and then we'll have a friendly chit-chat." His cheerful expression was plastered all over his face as if he's Santa Claus coming to greet the children. Looking at a guy who accepts bandits here, I wouldn't be surprised.

I turned my body around to face him, all in a while trying to open the can with a Swiss army knife, and muttered more incoherent words at him.

"So," he began. "How is that collection going for you?"

"Fine." I answered back in monotone. The top was cut opened and I look down to see a familiar sight inside.

Mystery meat again, oh goody; might as well get it over with and hope the bread makes it taste better than last time.

. . .

. . .

"You know, I kept hearing about your run-in with Awl and Petruha from the other stalkers in the area. Awl told me you got him out of the Boiler Anomaly yesterday when an emission started and led them to a small cave…"

Shit.

He's talking about the hideout next to the Farmstead I found while exploring. That place could have been my secret spot, similar to the Substation underground room in Jupiter, if it weren't for those two. Ever since Snag disappeared from the Yanov station, I've been using his secret stash room with the safe. How do I know where it is? Simple: I followed him. If I remembered correctly, a couple loners mentioned about a stalker's personal box being looted by Snag and he somehow found the snake-in-the-grass at the abandoned Substation. In the end he got off easily and continued to live that day, but not without returning all the shit he took. Last I saw him, he was still hanging around the Duty occupied area and left without anyone noticing the next day. After that incident, I went to check on his stash and was surprised that he didn't bother to take them with him. Being the good stalker that I am, I secured the old place, called it my own and put some furniture in like a mattress and some makeshift shelves. An awesome safe house, if I could say so myself. I wonder if anyone found it yet.

"…and I couldn't believe that you would threaten them to keep it a secret or else you will pour vodka inside their rifle barrels." He exclaimed in humor. Damn it, I told them to keep their trap shut. Now everyone is going to pay attention to me.

"I… wasn't actually serious when I said it." The mystery meat was scooped and spread inside the open pocket of the bread. Why couldn't it be tuna salad yesterday? There are no freaking labels on these things.

Beard gave a hearty laugh and gave me a hard pat on the shoulder, much to my inner cringing, and leaned back to catch his breath for a while. All in all, my legs were still sore from having to run so much from the pack of Snorks and are ready to give out from the constant standing.

"I wish you put chairs in this place," I muttered at him even though the noise of conversation drowned it out. One of my fingers tugs the mask down so I can eat.

"What was that?"

"I didn't say anything." I lied, taking a bite from my mystery sandwich. "Probably your imagination."

At least the taste is better.

"Nothing to worry about, then." Beard flashed another one of his jovial smile, whereas I only showed a bored frown to hide my annoyance. I may never understand how he can be so happy in this environment. Barkeep and Sidorovich hardly smiles let alone crack a joke, and this guy is all sunshine and vodka. I can be happy, too, but not THIS happy.

"By the way, any sign of Nimble?" I asked him. Another bite from the sandwich and it now tasted like chicken. Huh.

Beard nodded his head and pointed upstairs. "In a matter of fact, he just got back from his trip to smuggle a special package. Business has been thriving for all of us after someone took care of the mutant problems. The bandits have been behaving themselves as well; I've never seen Sultan so lax before. Perhaps these changes will benefit us for a long, if not temporary, term. Don't you agree?"

Always the optimistic one when it comes to moments like these, especially when those moments don't last too long and someone important winds up dead or worse. Sometimes, I see something in his eyes… almost like he's planning something big but he doesn't have to move a finger like Sultan. Despite the obvious, even you perplex me, Beard.

"We'll have to see what happens next." I responded.

Scarfing the rest of the food down, I twisted the cap of my water bottle and sipped for a repeated amount of time until I emptied the entire contents. Throwing that away somewhere, I backed from the counter and made my leave upstairs to conduct important businesses in hopes of scoring something big of my own soon.

"Take care, now! Skadovsk isn't going anywhere. Hahahaha!"

Right…

* * *

><p>"Next!"<p>

Professor Colbert signaled for the next student to commence their summoning while they are outside on the field. So far, so good for this term's Springtime Familiar Summoning Ritual exam with all the second years lining up to receive the familiar that represents their true self by invoking the given incantation rite. Seeing how everything is going smoothly for now, he has no doubt that once everyone have completed the summoning and get to know their familiars will things take an interesting turn of event in the upcoming exhibition.

Well, almost everyone.

As he watched the line go by, he had noticed that Louise was last in line and seems to be nervous about how her summoning will go. The lack of ability to cast proper magic on her part validates her tension, and yet she still put up a mask of pride to hide her fear of failure and ridicule. Despite his blank expression, he did sympathize with her reason of worry of what might become the greatest disaster if she were to fail. If only there was an answer to why her results were different than the rest of the students who could manage their casting just fine. Of course, it was a big mystery that he himself could not solve much like Old Osmand's true age.

For now, he will have to do with continuing the ritual and see if anything changes for her.

At the end of line, Louise was doing her best not to show any signs of emotional weakness because her pride as a noble and the Rule of Steel would not allow her to breakdown. She will accomplish her exam and show everyone that she is not a zero that they think of her as. The familiar reflects the mage, and with her effort and poise her familiar will make them all respect her as their equal, no, _as_ _their better_. None shall compare with her magnificence that not even her eternal rival, the cursed Kirche, will have any more playful insults to spew. If Louise could bring upon herself to hope more upon Brimir's will, it might as well be the fact that her summoning awed everyone so much that even her barbaric Germanian arch-nemesis' breasts shrank down to a flat board. If only it were possible to harness all that power _just_ to do that.

But really, she hoped her summoning would bring out the ultimate proof that she is indeed NOT a Zero at the beginning.

"Well, if it isn't Louise the Zero." Damn that harlot and her flapping chest fat. "Getting ready for the summoning ritual, I see. As you can tell, mine went splendidly well."

The sickening sweet voice of seduction that is Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt-Zerbst grated on her nerves the more she spoke to her. It didn't help her mind that next to the Germanian fire mage was in fact a red salamander with a ball of fire at the end of its tail. As much as she hated to admit it, the filthy barbarian's familiar did look like it would garner admirers without effort, not nearly close as Tabitha's dragon though. The thought of it did put her mind at some ease, but it wasn't fully extinguished since 'The Ardent' was clearly not done mocking her just yet.

_Remember, Louise, Rule of Steel. Let nothing impede you. _

"I am very curious of what your summoning will end up, Louise." The dark skinned red head mentioned in teasing tone. "I wonder if it will be a bigger explosion than usual."

_Rule of steel! _

"Hmph! I will not be defeated by the likes of you, Von Zerbst! For today is the day I will summon forth a familiar that will not only trump yours, but will grant the well-deserved respect that I have lacked for all those years of mockery! Soon, there will be no zero but a noble mage that I am myself to be."

Kirche laughed at her grand speech, "Hohohoho~, such a big talk from someone so small! Do yourself a favor, Louise, and give up while you still can. There is no point in humiliating yourself any further because of where you stand."

_Rule of Steel! _

"Besides, you can never satisfy an audience with just explosions! I, Kirche the Ardent, will always be the greatest appeal than you." She prop her ample chest up for her to see. "For you are, and will always be, the flattest of them all."

Louise, ever being so temperamental, clenched her teeth in the deepest rage growing ever so steadily as she watched the fire mage rejoin her friend to watch the event. There were days when Louise wanted to curl up in a ball and cry her eyes out because of her failures, and then there were also days when she wanted to curse that blasted harlot all the way to oblivion for pushing the most sensitive topic down her throat. This is one of the latter.

_RULE OF STEEL! _

* * *

><p>"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE ANY CROWBARS!?" I shouted in pure outrage. Standing there before me, Owl's expression did not change at the slightest movement as if it was another day for him. In the most boredannoyed tone he could muster, this is what he has to say.

"Does it look like I run a tool shop? If you want tools, go find them elsewhere. I sell necessary supplies to stalkers, not construction workers. Now are you going buy something or stand there like an idiot?"

"You're lucky I even bothered buying from you." I grumbled.

"You're lucky I even tolerate customers _like_ _you_ without shooting them." He shot back without missing a beat.

Well, he got me there. Still, the rat bastard always charge ammunition prices like crazy. At least guns are cheaper now that the military decided to take five and go back to watching TV inside their guard posts, until something goes wrong.

A few more seconds of glowering happening between us made me wish for bubblegum. I'm not going to ask if he sells those because of the obvious and since Beard doesn't stock candy; the same goes for every stalker I pass by other than a pack of smokes. I heard playing guitars helps pass the time, but I don't know how to do that. What about a harmonica? They're easy to learn, just have to blow some air in the holes and make some music. There is also the need for more mags and 5.45x39mm bullets since I am going to stop by Cardan's workshop to pick up my AC-96/2 next before heading to Nimble's 'office'.

"Are you done staring off like a statue yet?" Owl droned and flipped another page from an unspecified magazine while I was in the middle of my silent monologue.

I really have to stop doing that.

"3 boxes (60 bullets per box) of 5.45x39, 3 empty mags for an AC-96 and a harmonica…" Am I forgetting something? "…Oh! And get me two sets of radioprotectants along with a GP-25 launcher, five VOG-25s, and a PSU-1 scope."

Even though he casted a raised brow at the harmonica part, Owl just kept quiet and went for his shelves to check the inventory. Not a minute sooner, he placed all of what I asked for on the counter and totaled up the prices before his nasally depressing voice perturbed my ears once more.

"12,340 RUs," The trench coat shopkeeper went back to reading, not giving a damn to watch. He wouldn't have to worry since stalkers here don't take kindly to shoplifters.

A small stack of bills was slapped down and I waited for him to count the amount before leaving. As expected, he took the notes and counted them briefly then waved me off which meant "Take your shit and leave me alone."

"Don't let the door hit you." He sounded off his usual chime as I walked out the door with my purchases in hand. After I packed the bullets and whatnots into the bag, I rolled my eyes as his next customer came in which happens to be a skinny bandit who 'accidently' bumps into me without any apologies.

What a nice guy.

Onward to Cardan then.

Making my way on the right, I could see Cardan is being… himself, again. Just without the drinking. Somehow, he went sober after someone persuaded him otherwise. His prices for repairs are a quarter cut than what he would usually charge, but mine is still cheaper. Modding is still his forté, which I lacked. Right now, it seems like he is in the middle of repairing someone's gun. I should take advantage of this.

"Hey, dude!" I exclaimed in a rather bogus surfer voice, "I totally, like, broke my shooter and shit so I'm going to need you to fix it."

His head shot up with an annoyed scowl on his face until he saw me chuckling and pointing my finger at him. Cardan shook his head with a huff and returned back to his work. He thumbed at a gun leaning against the wall next to him. "Your rifle is ready, boy. I already installed the upgrades for durability, recoil, and fire rate. Take good care of it, alright?"

"Yes, _dad_." I went over to pick it up, noting his self-mumbling once I said my thanks.

Last stop is Nimble's delivery office before I take care of my own business for tomorrow and get some shut-eye. At least I get to add another artifact to my collection. After all, I only need a Jellyfish, Flame, Night Star, Eye, Snowflake, Sparkler, Flash, Soul, Compass, Kolobok, and a Goldfish if I hadn't let that rookie take it; too bad someone already found the Heart of Oasis. Smuggling them out will be a hassle if I don't come up with a large sum to pay.

Hey, maybe Nimble might help me. He did say about having connections. Would one of them help me smuggle a crate of illegal artifacts and military equipment? I hope so. I want to have my own secret display of good shit underneath my crappy looking house so no one would be the wiser.

"Howdy-ho!" Ugh, why does everyone say that? We're not cowboys. "I see you've come for your package, am I right?"

"Howdy-" FUCK! "I mean, hey Nimble. Yeah, I got the cash. Let's see what you got." I rubbed the back of my head, giving a brief yawn. "So, what is it?"

Nimble tapped a small wooden crate that he has been using as a foot rest. "This, my friend, is the armor I've been talking about. It's been through toils of combat and is the ultimate protection for shootouts and anomalies. Fully repaired and upgraded by its previous owner, this suit will benefit you greatly on the long run."

I held on to the money when he stretched his hand out for it. "Can't I at least see it first before I pay you? It's only fair since I don't know what I'm getting."

"Oh, right. Sure, no problem buddy. But remember, if you don't take it, the next purchase will add up more money; a fair warning for all buying clients."

He got up from his seat and produced a- HOLY SHIT, is that what I think it is?

It is!

The arms dealer wedged the slanted end of the crowbar in between and pried the lid off with a mighty wrench. Once he has finished doing that, he kicked the lid off and allowed me to see what's inside.

. . .

. . .

. . .

"Well, what do you think?" He asked.

. . .

. . .

"What exactly am I looking at?"

Nimble held up a folded suit with a olive gray tactical Kevlar vest that look it has been padded with extra plates, modified with a chest rig intended to hold mags, and looped with a pouch belt at the bottom meant to hold artifacts, from my assumption. The shirt itself was a sky blue and white camouflage with unfamiliar shoulder patches on both sides that resembled a shield with two white birds flying up from opposite directions behind a rising sun, below it came a strewn ribbon that clearly reads-

"Clear Sky." Whatever air was left in my lungs were already out as soon as I read those words. I have never heard of an organization called that, let alone, a smart watch, but they sound just right. Clear Sky. An omen I believed in, a good omen. Calm before the emission comes. But what does this mean? Was this a coincidence? Does Duty or Freedom know of these people?

Does anyone else know of them or where they came from?

"Heh-hehe-heh…"

. . .

In front of me, Nimble let out a nervous laugh as he saw me stare intently at the crest. His throat clearing manage to snap me out of my trance as I gaze up at him. For a moment, he seemed tense as if he was hiding something. I grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him in the eye as my voice continued to remain hoarse.

"It's perfeeeeeect!" The words wheezed through my mouth as I could barely contain my excitement. Letting him go, I shoved the money in his hand and went for the loot. Damn, it has Kevlar layers around the arms and legs, metal kneepads, dark pants of whatever blackish color, tactical gloves, and even a pair of hiking boots! My old ones were starting to wear out. How considerate of him.

What's this, some kind of old steel helmet of the sort? I see it comes with a pair of large goggles and a gas mask. Good, now I won't have to smell the gas anomalies every time I pop a pill.

"Uh, uhhh," I didn't notice the odd look Nimble was giving me, nor did was I really paying attention to his loss of words but it sounded like he was having a moment of relief.

"So, um, how do you like it?" He gestured at the armored uniform. "I got it off a merc who found something better to wear so he sold it to me. Everything on it is modified with extra protection from pistol to medium rifle rounds, ruptures, impacts, explosions… nearly everything that will last! It provides all minimal anomaly protection so you won't have to worry about wading through unprepared, container slots large enough to hold three artifacts, and it also has 1st generation night vision integrated in the goggles. Pretty slick, if I say so."

Huh, what about night vision?

"I thought First Generation night vision is shit." I replied.

"Don't worry; it's an updated version." Nimble reassured. "Clearer like the current Second Generation, but darker as well; think of it as a past improvement."

I didn't know you could even modify an existing model.

"So what is this suit called?" I inquired Nimble about the product. From my perspective it seems to be an antique version of those merc suits, but specialized for Zone activities. Was Clear Sky some kind of para-military like the mercenaries?

"CS-1a model; very light and sturdy for special operations. I know the steel helmet may not help you much, but at least the gas mask can be fitted inside. Plus, you even have a hood." He pointed it out. Indeed, it does.

At least I feel protected now.

"You want to order anything else?" He asked me while I put everything away in the box.

"Yes, there is. Can I buy that crowbar from you?"

. . .

"Sure… 300 RU."

"Deal!"

* * *

><p>"Is that everyone?" Colbert glanced around to see if anyone else was left until he spotted the last student coming up with a prideful stride. "Ah, Miss Valliére, you're the last to go so best of luck to you."<p>

"Unless it blows up in her face like the rest of her spells!" Someone called out in the crowd, causing a fit of stifled laughter amongst their peers.

"Now, settle down students." He ordered them to keep it quiet and then turned to Louise. "Miss Valliére, you may begin when you are ready."

This was her chance to prove her potential! Louise nodded and concentrates her focus on the summoning rite while anyone nearby backed away farther; some readied themselves to make a run for it when the time comes. Kirche still had that smug grin on her face and Tabitha was… being herself as always. Everyone anticipated the obvious fact that it will end up in another explosive failure. But for her, she thought otherwise.

"My name is Louise Françoise Le Blancde La Valliére. Pentagon of the five elemental powers, heed my summoning…" The strawberry-blonde girl begins her incantation.

"This is going to be good." Kirche whispered next to her friend, while the quiet Gallian kept her eyes on the opened book. Others were muttering to one another on how this spell will go to the point of even betting whether it would end up as another explosion or not.

"…grant forth my servant that is of this vast universe…"

Professor Colbert frowned slightly at the altered verse of the summoning rite, but said nothing as he continued to watch his student finish the ritual. Perhaps these few changes might be interesting to watch.

"…my divine, beautiful, wise, powerful servant that shall heed my call…"

"Hey Louise, you're doing it wrong!" Malicorne called out abruptly. She ignored or was too focused to pay any attention toward any outside disturbance and was near the finale of the ritual.

"…bring forth this creature and let it be bind as my familiar that shall need my guidance!" At last the finishing verse was done and Louise waved her wand dramatically, expecting her familiar's grand appearance to take place at an instant. A couple seconds went by and nothing happened as the time continues to pass silently. No explosions, much to her small relief, but it didn't seem like the summoning had done its job as she expected it to be; quite literally, nothing at all.

_How could this be!? _

Tears of shame threatened to leak from her eyes as she hung her head low and awaited the taunts from her tormenters. A few students got the hint and were now pointing fingers at her misfortunes as they jeered her mocking title again and gain.

"I always knew she was always a Zero!" One of the few commented aloud.

"Once a zero, always a Zero!"

"At least nothing exploded this time…"

_How am I going to explain to mother of my expulsion? _

"Hey, what is that blue ball floating in the air?" Louise's head shot up at the mentioning and veered her head toward the strange phenomenon taking the sport of where she pointed her wand to.

Colbert's eyes stared at the small shimmering orb before him, mesmerized by its erratic patterns of colors that changes every passing second. Everyone was amazed by its pretty mixture that it even garnered the attention of the usually stoic Tabitha, who could only raise her eyebrows in surprise.

"It's so beautiful," Montmorency was dazzled at the mysterious wonder.

"Just like you…" Her fiancée, Guiche, added, was also fascinated by its glamorous glow.

Everyone was so entranced with the floating ball of light that they temporarily forgotten about Louise or even registered her presence when she waved her hand in front of them.

"I don't understand, just what _is_ it?" She questioned its unknown origin and was about to get closer when it instantly turned into a full of shade of red and started growing bigger. The mages, struck off by its sudden violent impulse, had soon forgotten the orb's beauty and began to back away while keeping a constant watch at its changes when thunderous noises erupted and streaks of lightning can be seen sparking from the volatile object.

Even when it stopped growing, the surface rippled and ruptured as if some part of it was about to break off. The crackling still did not stop as the students were beginning to panic at the possible danger it could pose to them when the ground started rumbling.

"By Brimir! This is the end of us as we know it!" A student cried and ran off to the nearest cover.

"Oh God, it's going to explode! The orb is going to _explode_!"

"This is all your fault, Louise!" The pudgy blond kid shouted, tripping over a first year attempting to get inside the building.

Louise could only stare helplessly at the shifting ball that pulsated at a rapid pace and shut her eyes for the inevitable to come. This was her fate, she supposed. To perish underneath the anomaly threatening to envelope her form and wipe out every form of existence that she held inside.

Unbeknownst to her, at the very last moment before her untimely demise, the orb shrunk down all the way to the size of a fruit and was still. Everything around her was still at that point: the tears running her cheeks, the frozen expressions of terror from her classmates, Professor Colbert hopelessly covering himself with only his arms and the staff in his hand for protection.

It seemed like she had really done it bad this time.

What felt like eternity soon resumed back into reality when the red orb imploded itself, sending forth a shockwave like no other. The grass was blown back while students and teacher alike were flung in the air before landing roughly on the ground. As for Louise, being the nearest of the source, only felt a soft push and landed on her bottom, strangely enough.

When the horrible shrieking finally stopped, Louise thought to herself that she died quickly until she realized everything on her body felt fine. In fact, she felt as if a small gust of wind blew over her and that was it. Slowly, she opened her eyes and could only see a shadowy figure covered behind the cloud of smoke created from her handy work. It was tall and held a sinister shape that left her with a brief sense of chills when it got closer. She could hear its ragged breathing and wanted to squirm away in fear that whatever she summoned might inflict harm upon anyone it sees, but chose to stand up and face it despite her mind screaming to run away while there is still a chance. Of course, she could not allow cowardice on her part. Why should the master be afraid of a familiar she had just summoned?

When some of the cloud finally cleared, Louise peered at the figure looming over her and paled at what she saw that made her resume back to being frightened again. A single black panel on what looks to be its eyes(?) held her reflection as the oddly clothed, if she could call them as such, creature stood there in a daze, clutching the side of its head while eliciting a loud groan. Louise kept staring, not believing her eyes at what she had brought forth and continued to examine this strange being that can stand on two legs, yet it looked really hideous. She held her breath when the thing turned its attention to her and also stared with a slight tilt by its head as if it too was trying to figure out what she is. The two held it for a while and said nothing to each other, observing each other like a specimen behind a steel cage whilst most of the smoke were now gone and three more figures appear near her. She paid no mind to them, only wanting to make sense of what she was seeing.

Maybe she summoned some kind of humanoid insect, which sort of explains the odd mouthpiece it was sporting. But if it is really an insect, where are the extra appendages or the feelers? She only saw four limbs and a head… unless it's wearing some kind of chitin armor with pockets that is hiding the other arms. Some of the extra bits on it look to be straps of some kind with an oddly shaped metal tool hanging on the right hip. The white and blue pattern on its arms might indicate a new species. The metallic objects sticking out of the front pockets eludes her.

"Uhh…." Is it trying to communicate with her? "Khto ty? De ya?"

"Huh?" She gaped at the odd use of words it was speaking. "What did you say?"

. . .

"Chomu vy hovoryte po -frantsuzʹky?" The insect man, based on how deep his voice was, spoke more nonsense that sounded like a question. "Chy ye tse Paryzh?"

Great, he doesn't understand the Tristanian language. A translation spell will be needed before the man-bug can properly address the mage and see to his master's needs. Perhaps she can-

"Shcho tse, chort vizʹmy!?" A shrill, reedy voice holding the same dialect screeched out, causing Louise and anyone that had not been knocked out by the strong wave to cringe. "DE TUT?"

The foul stench of burnt tar reached her nose and she gagged at the strong smell plaguing the air as the young girl backed away from the likely source dressed in a black hooded coat attire that screamed ' filthy commoner'. A cloth mask revealing his green eyes and stubble mouth showed some form of confusion and panic when he first saw her hair and pointed at it.

"Khto vona? Chomu yiyi volossya v rozhevyy kolir?" The smelly commoner babbled in the same language, probably directed at the bug-man.

The armored man shrugged and shook his head.

"Hitobito wa, anata daredesuka?" And it seems like there is another one! Why couldn't she catch a break? Louise whipped her head around to see two other individuals having a conversation with each other. One of them was dressed similarly like the first one but is colored with a darker shade of blue than its counterpart, plus it was missing the dome on its head. The other person was also like the commoner judging from his apparel, but is younger than the rest of them with his blue eyes and black hair. Judging from the appearance of the three figures, excluding the boy, they are likely human and men from some unknown barbarian country she probably never heard of. Perhaps they came from Germania?

"Koko de okonatte Nihon no shōnen wa nanidesu ka?" The helmetless man spoke to him just as fluently that it surprised the younger commoner, who spoke back excitingly in rapid succession.

"Anata wa watashi no gengo o hanasu koto ga dekiru?" The boy's panicked expression eased when the fellow nodded.

"Hai, soshite yori ōku no." He pointed at Louise. "Chōdo kanojo ga sukidesu."

Just what are they talking about? And why is this lowly commoner pointing so rudely at her? Does he not know that he is in the presence of a noble?

Louise noticed the first man she was talking to was now off collecting objects strewn around the area, muttering to himself more incoherent gibberish as he picked up a large pack that could hold an abundance of items inside and wore it on his back. Two objects were strapped on both sides with the left one almost resembling a musket rifle. She then watched him pick up a black metal rifle that had some parts sticking out of which she could not describe and even ignored her when she asked about it. After a while, her mood began to turn sour when she heard the barbed calls from the students behind her back and bundled her hands into fists.

"Who would have thought Louise the Zero could summon commoners," One jeered loudly, "especially a bunch of horribly dressed commoners who can't even speak properly!"

Kirche, despite having been blown away from the strong blast just recently, added her own taunt in the mix, "Leave it to a Zero to summon more Zeroes!"

The hooded commoner was rather confused at the sudden turn of event and sat down against a large metal box to ponder on the given situation he was in. The bug-man was too busy gathering his things and stacking them in one spot to pay any attention on what is going on, whiles the boy and the other bug-man stood there silently to watch the whole scenario play it out.

"Miss Valliére, you must finish the ritual." Professor Colbert leaned shakily against his staff when he experienced the worse bashing of his life and slowly hobbled over to get a better look at the four minding themselves. "Hm… interesting…"

"But which one do I choose?" Louise felt pressured as she watched them attend to their business. "How do I tell which one is my true familiar?"

This made him pause at the given question, prompting him to glance around at them for a moment before turning to his student with a straight face. "All of them are your familiars."

"What!? But how is that possible?" She exclaimed.

"I am not too sure myself, but since you have summoned all four of them in one casting, the only reasonable conclusion is this." Colbert explained carefully. "So in order to finish the summoning ritual, you must bind all four as your familiars."

The girl glanced nervously at them and hesitantly nodded before she called for their attention.

"All of you commoners come to me!" She announced loudly for them to hear and raised her wand up in the air.

* * *

><p>"What is she saying this time?" Hiraga Saito quietly asked the gas masked mercenary next to him.<p>

"She wants all of us to come toward her." The man held his hands behind his back and shouted at the other two stalkers nearby. "You two, get over here. The girl wants us to gather around."

"What? Why? I don't know her." I called over my shoulder and placed the last book on the pile. "I don't even know where we are, let alone, any of these weird people."

"That girl, she reminds me of my daughter…" Shishak mentioned to himself. "…probably the same age too. Yes, possibly, minus the pink hair dye and contact lenses."

"I don't think these people even know what those are. I mean, look at them. If this is some kind of freaky-shit cult Harry Potter school, then that would probably explain the castle." I noted the assorted amount of ridiculous hair color amongst the crowd of kids and some of the freaky looking animals amongst the normal house pet ones. "Also, get off my supply crate asshole."

"Give me the artifacts then." He replied smugly.

"When Fleshes fly, prick." I shot back.

"Both of you shut up and walk your asses over here!" Oh, seems like the merc is getting annoyed. I wouldn't want to keep him waiting unless I want a bullet in the head.

"Alright, fine! Jeez!" I threw my hands up and went toward him. "But this better not involve drenching ourselves in blood and shoving a stick up our asses!"

If I could see his eyes, I bet you he'd be rolling them at my stupid comment. Good, let him think I'm an idiot so he doesn't get the chance to kill me in my sleep when that comes. I can't trust the mercenaries and bandits when they're close to me and within firing distance. I can't trust nobody in the Zone at all!

. . .

Huh, maybe that's why I don't have any friends…

"Are your friends like this all the time?" The boy gestured toward me and the Shishak. "It seems like the one in the white and blue suit has a few screws loose in his head."

"They are not my 'friends'. I was hired to take one of them out and capture the other." He responded in a formal manner. "And don't worry about him, he is harmless… sometimes."

"Oh, so you are an assassin, Merc-san?"

"No no, just a mercenary. An assassin would take pride in their jobs, while a merc does it because it is a job to do." The merc pointed to himself. "Like me, I do it just for the money. No questions asked. No loyalty held but to yourself."

Pfft, yeah keep talking in that moon language. They're probably talking shit about me. Hell, I bet he can speak more languages than we know and put in subtle insults every time he feels like it. Bah, I'll just do what he says for now and get this over with.

"I suppose it is better than doing nothing," Shishak agreed, got up, and followed me from behind, much to my chagrin.

As much as I feel a slight discomfort of letting that rat out of my sights, I'm willing to weigh more on needs than wants just to understand what the hell is going on. Or was that the other way around? Meh, no time to think about it now, let see what this girl wants from us.

As we all gathered to one spot, the pink haired girl (god, she looks like the bossy type) strides over toward us four and starts talking in her French speak once again. I don't understand what the hell she was talking about and I still don't understand her now when she pointed at her head then to ours. What, does she want us to take off our helmets or something?

"She wants us to take off the helmet and masks," the merc said to us via translation and started to unstrap his gas mask.

Oh.

. . .

Hey, wait a minute… why does she _want_ us to take off our masks? Something's wrong and I don't like where this heading to. Is she going to splash acid in my eyes? I hope not. That shit burns.

The boy doesn't need to remove anything on his face since, well, he wasn't wearing anything on his face or head to begin with. I know that's really obvious. Good kid. Out of place in this area, but so are we. I wonder if he has heard of the Zone.

Shishak removed his ski-mask and revealed a rather charming face much to my surprise. I always assume he was ugly underneath the mask, but goddamn look at that angular chin! And his eyes! He looks like a blond pretty boy, holy shit. He could get a lot of chicks if he didn't smoke so much and steal other people's shit including me.

The mercenary took his gas mask off and showed a square mullet build with his cheeks and nose being okay. He's not half bad, but those hard blue eyes give me the creeps when I looked at them. His expression is kind of stone faced, but he could probably beat someone to death with that look he seems to bore. I don't see much about his hair besides a few tufts sticking out of his balaclava, so it looks like he got some jet black on his head.

As for me, yeah, good luck with that. I ain't removing my helmet. You want my face? Here's half of it. You don't like it? Well too fucking bad for you.

"Thank god for fitted gas masks." I felt around for a release strap after lifting the helmet a little and unlatched it. With that out of the way, only half of my face was exposed to the world that I did not know of. I admit, five o' clock shadows are rugged and cool, but they can be a bitch to clean out sometimes. If I have the time, I might have to shave it off so I can eat bread without the crumbs getting stuck on my chin.

The look on that girl's face means she wasn't amused by my smart moves. Oh, sorry there. No acids in my eyes this time.

"Why not take the entire helmet off?" The bandit seems to find it funny. See, I'm not the only one with a sense of humor.

Wait, did I just agree with him? No wait, never mind…

There she goes again, speaking in that language as if I can totally comprehend everything she is saying. She looks crossed at me. Mhm, yes, she definitely looks crossed with me. But it's so cute when she looks like that. I'm not so sure about the pink eyes, though. It's really… unnatural, but at the same time who am I to complain? She looks just dainty with them.

"Je vous ordonne de prendre votre casque!" She barked in that adorable voice as if she was telling me what to do.

"She wants you to remove the helmet." Jacque the merc (Not really his name, but I at least need to call him something until then) said to me.

"Hahaha, NO." I gave her a shit eating grin and shook my head. "I don't take orders from you, little miss pinky."

"Ce est un ordre, roturière!" Aww, her cheeks are puffing. Where's my camera? This would go well with my collection of 'People who are pissed off at me'.

"Nope." My head shook again. Meanwhile, the crowd of school kids behind her has started to laugh at her incompetence. Like I said, I don't know what they're saying but it must be pretty hilarious for them. The short book girl with the glasses doesn't seem to be joining in, though. Eh, good for her.

Suddenly, the girl whipped out a wooden stick that might as well reinforce my claims that this world is definitely a parody of Harry Potter. All I could do was laugh at her threat while the others looked at me like I was crazy.

"Oh, good _lord_, this is rich!" I cackled at her attempt to intimidate me. "This is just fucking _rich_! Look at this thing, guys! It's _a_ _wand_!"

The Japanese boy leaned over to the merc and muttered more of his moon-speak at him, to which the man nodded after he was done and Shishak just stood there like it was another day in the Zone.

For me, however, I was too busy enjoying myself by making fun of the girl who was so pissed at me that I swear her face couldn't get any more redder than the busty redhead watching the scene with her rambunctious laugh.

"Aww, is the wittle girl mad? Does she want a wollipop? Does she now? Oh, does she no- UCK!" Did she just kick me in the balls? Looking down, I did notice that she had _indeed_ kicked me right in the cash and prizes. Shit, she kicked like a horse!

"Urrrgh, fuuuuuuuuuuuck!" I could only hold whatever was left of my dignity and take it standing while bent over. The urge to scream more profanities was tempting, but I rather laugh it off then make her look good in the light of day. Boy in the white and blue zip-up jacket winced in sympathy while the other two continued to stare at me as if I was being a mental moron.

"Is th-that the best you got, girly?" My mouth now turned into a smirk and it looks like she is about to hit me again until someone else's voice cut in sharply.

Oh look, it's a balding wizard with his long wooden staff and his tiny wire-frame glasses. From the looks of it, he seems intent on finishing whatever the hell we were actually doing in the first place since nobody told us in the beginning. Despite the reluctance of being stopped before she could do anymore harm to me, she decided that I would be dealt with later and went back to business.

And when I meant business, I mean moving away from me, stopping a hair away from the blushing boy and planting her lips into his.

. . .

Okay… that's not weird at all. It could be a French thing, I don't know. Do all French kiss each other in the mouth as a greeting? If so, then I want a hot French girl to play tongue twister with me. Now she's gesturing the other two to bend down a little and- I don't like where this is going… oh god, she's frenching them as well.

And now I'm next.

. . .

"Hey, listen girly, I know you're desperate to find love and all that bullshit, but don't you think this is going a little too fa-URP!" Her lips are so soft… Ngh, I call adult molestation! This is so wrong on so many levels of wrongness that even she's grimacing at the taste of what I had for dinner today. Hah, serves her right for trying to reverse molests me when I refused!

Hey, what's that burning feeling on my left hand? Feels like something is being bran- OH FUCK, IT HURTS LIKE SHIT! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

"Urgh… what the hell!"

"Ow, ow, ow! These feels are hurting me!"

"Argh, my hand!"

"SON OF A BITCH!" Was all I wanted to yell at the sharp pain of sizzling heat pressing down on what probably might be left of my drinking hand if I don't have it amputated by the end of the day.

"Stop complaining, it will pass soon." Pinky finally spoke a shred of something that I can understand while I waited impatiently for the sensation to stop.

. . .

Did she just spoke Ukrainian? I thought this was Paris.

* * *

><p><em>AN: If you are offended by the use of derogatory terminology, then take in mind that this is a story and what I put is not meant to be taken seriously. Have a good laugh and please give critiques. Thank you. _


	2. Chapter 2: The Master of Stalkers

A/N:_ Another chapter of Pavlo and friends disagreeing with their so-called 'master' and still trying to figure out what the hell is going on. _

_I would like to thank the reviewers for their positive feedback, but I've yet to see any criticism for now. If so, then please explain your thoughts in a simple form for me to understand so that I will do what I can to fix the problem._

_I hold no rights to The Familiar of Zero and STALKER materials, along with other added contents except for OCs and minor deviation of plots._

Review Responses:

_**Kaioo:**_ They're killers, excluding Saito, but they are not psychotic killers. Further into the story, their assorted views will definitely clash with the local's on morals and beliefs.

_**Panzer-12:**_ I'll throw in a mixture of both, with the protagonist stalkers trying to figure out how to make their ammunitions and improvised weapons and how the story progresses. Nothing too major in the early beginning, but more weapons will be added; some that are not in the Stalkerverse, but will have their names modified to fit the feel of it.

_**GrimKid98:**_ An emission is coming, fellow stalker!

_**Yeza Nairomof:**_ It'll get more interesting after you fastened your seatbelts for a whole bunch of clusterfucks later on. Count on it.

_**Minh:**_ Cheeki Breeki, bro. **Cheeki. Breeki**.

* * *

><p>Chapter 2<p>

**The Master of Stalkers**

* * *

><p><em>Last hour before unforeseen departure…<em>

"Alright, time to try out my new duds and see if they fit me!" The curtain acting as my door was closed shut behind me and I placed the box on the operating bed. There I begin to take off the leather suit and start putting on the real-deal that I spent on just to get that feel.

Ever since the whole incident involving our previous medic playing vampire and that someone took care of it when he was found out, I decided to call dibs on his room. Having to occupy the late Tremor's medical room, I decided to take it as my sleeping quarter since no one else would go for it in fear of finding out whatever fucked up things he had done beside the whole blood drinking fiasco. Frankly, it just gives me the perfect space since no one will ever go near it unless emergency calls.

It would be pretty annoying if the people here mistook me for a doctor. I can't imagine how much of them barging in and yelling "Help, help, I need a medic!" before they realized I can't do jackshit with their patient other than passing them a medkit and have them figure it out what the hell they should do.

Anyway, I wonder how I look in this thing. I got the pants on, the shirt and tactical vest secured, and then the gas mask and helmet tightly snugged in. I wish Tremor put a mirror in this room before someone killed him. If the man wanted to be the terror of the night, he could at least have the decency to hang a mirror just to pretend he's Edward Cullen. The freak probably likes the sparkling effects. Who knows? I haven't found any glitter around so far.

You know what? Screw it; I'll just use my knife as an improvised mirror just to see how badass I look in this get up. If what Nimble said is true, this baby can stop pistol and assault rifle rounds without any heavy damage to the suit. Sure, it's not as fully protective like those Skat-9m suits or the earlier model, but it beats having no Kevlar at all.

Sometimes, I would imagine myself as a swat officer with a battering ram breaking a door open while the rest of my swat buddies would charge in and get shit done. Actually, before I even entered the Zone, I _wanted_ to be Berkut in the beginning. Sadly, they shut down the organization because of police brutality and them being dicks to the people. If I had joined earlier, I would have kept my skills and breezed through the Red Forest to Pripyat in no time. Or maybe not, with the locals being crazy and shit over there.

Oh well, it's not like I was missing out on anything while I was here. Who knew firing your first gun was exciting? At a bandit who was holding a better gun, no doubt.

"Get on the ground, bitches!" I did a little pose and pretended my left hand is a gun, complete with cheesy sound effects. "Pew pew pew!"

Alright, enough fooling around for me, I got to do some chores before I get some Z's. Don't want to get out in the early morning without any bullets in the mags, eh?

With the knife sheathed, the backpack unzipped next to the operating bed, and the small crate placed elsewhere on the floor, I went to work on replenishing mags with fresh bullets. Putting thirty rounds in each mag was no feat of work, but it was time consuming nonetheless. Even then, I like doing work on my own time alone because it helps me think when I'm focused on a certain task. Things like future planning or what I want to do other than stalking is usually the main topic in my mind, like smoking blunts with the Freedomers or playing checkers by myself back in Yanov.

Sometimes I would have pleasant chats with Hawaiian and ask him why he never wears Aloha shirts if he is trying to make everything fun. Other times, but rarely, I'd end up spying on the bandits at the Container Warehouse to see if there were any changes beside Shishak ranting about how Jack is a retard and playing checkers with his buddies. In Yanov, the fun is always there at the station. Once you step out, though, it tends to turn into a clusterfuck of things trying to kill you and constant firefights.

But in Zaton, the fun never ends for me here. Artifacts are plenty in every emission storms, bandits under Sultan's rule are polite every time they want to rob and/or kill you for your stuff, and the wildlife in this barren wet jungle keeps you on your toes just enough to last a little longer. The swamplands here is almost like the Cordon, if you can tolerate the very same people who were trying to shake you down for loot outside not moments ago are now the ones acting as your drinking buddy that laugh at your crude jokes. I can't imagine myself getting close to any of them and having a pleasant conversation while giving them a pat on the back saying "Better luck next time, bro" much like the other stalkers around me. Life can be funny like that sometimes.

So, what should I do with the seven other mags that I've collected for today's run? Do I save the AK carbine for back-up or should I just take out all the bullets and hoard them for later uses? Hmm, now that I think about it, the hunting shotgun might come in handy if I need to use it to kill a boar or Flesh for food. Decisions, decisions…

. . .

Eh, just keep both of them. It would make sense to have a spare rifle just in case I'd end up with another broken shooter because of those goddamn boars. If there are many things that I hate about the Zone's residents other than bandits and mercenaries, number one are boars. Fuck them, fuck the military, and fuck the Monoliths. Those whack jobs are part of the reason why I never bothered going to Pripyat in the first place. Granted, I've never seen an actual Monolith psycho before, but I heard stuff about them that'll make even the most hardened stalkers shit bricks and reconsider another place to visit.

I once heard that they sit down around tall structures and swivel their heads in a continuous circle to communicate with their Zone god. Jeez, no wonder everyone thinks they are too far gone into crazy land. Zombies are the least of our concerns since we still have remnants of brainwashed freaks hanging around in the Zone. God forbid if they- Hey, I'm done with the mags.

Heh, guess monologues do pay off once in a while.

"What's next…?" I mumbled, looking around for anything to do since I don't feel quite tired yet.

Let see…

Mags are done. Check.

Suit is on. Check.

Supply crate holding all my necessary shit, locked and secured. Check

"ACHOO!"

"Gesundheit," was my reply.

. . .

". . ."

Wait, wh-

Something heavy landed on top of me before I had the chance to look up. My head banged against the floor as I tried to figure out who the hell is on me and how to knock out this son of a bitch. Getting up was hard since the person who is attacking me decided to sit his fat ass on my back while trying to pull my hands together. The sound of metal chains jingling near my head says it all as he took my Compact out of the holster and tosses it far away from me.

"Who the **fuck** are you!?" I tried to shout for help, but the unknown assailant slammed the side of my head in order to disorient me. Luckily, the lenses from the integrated gas mask didn't break, but goddamn the ringing inside my ears won't stop.

"Get off me, jackass!" Another attempt to get him off me proved fruitless, but not entirely useless when I managed to grip one of his hands and pressed my thumb against the nerve sensitive spot underneath where his thumbs are. I didn't think it would work, but it got the job done when he tried to pull it away which left him vulnerable for me to jerk his arm on one side and cause his entire body to roll. That douchebag landing on my sore form again did not do me wonders as I managed to roll on the side and got up standing so I could fight back properly, along with getting the identity of my attacker. The familiar sight of his dark blue BDU and gas mask left me slightly baffled when he quickly got up and went into a combat stance.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" My voice went shrill before pulling out the knife.

Oh shit, a merc!? What the hell is a merc doing here?

The mercenary in question was checking me out to see if there were any empty gaps for him to charge in and take me out, but I was ready this time. No way is that fucker going to get the upper hand over me again. The bastard may have tossed my pistol away, but I still have three more guns right behind me (even though they were already empty to begin with)!

Speaking of guns, why did he ditch the pistol if he could've used it to threaten or kill me? Maybe he doesn't have a silencer and a loud gunshot within earshot of every stalker will bring unnecessary attention.

Attention that I urgently needed right now by attempting to run out the door screaming bloody murder at the start before he took out a taser, fired two darts at the base of my neck, and shocked my ass into a twitchy oblivion of pain and suffering. Only the muffled scream of choked pain came uttering out of my throat as the voltage continued to course through my body.

"FUuuuuuUUuuuuUUUUUuuu-!"

Unfortunately, like all maneuverable combat suits, the empty gap around the neck is how people with good marksmanship can get an instant kill easily without having to aim for the head or waste more bullets into a larger mass like the chest. Mercenaries, like the one still tazing me, are known for their high kill ratios because they always aim for the weak spot. How else do foreign professional killers get the job done efficiently?

It seems like this one was hired to take me alive, strangely enough for the first time. Since when do mercs get paid to start abducting stray stalkers now?

The dark-cladded hired gun stepped forward with a pair of handcuffs and was about to placed them on me if not for the sudden interruption of two figures slipping through the curtain door quickly before anyone outside would notice. Cardan normally sits at the end of the hallway where his workshop is at so it should be very hard for anyone to come through the middeck unnoticed unless he is either drunk or too distracted to pay any attention, and Owl's store is literally right next to the medical bay! The former would be likely so since he did quit drinking a long time ago, plus the influx of newbies coming may have kept him busy for a while. The latter won't probably care how much noise I'll make since he'll just think I'm in some kind of frisky S&M with someone or just minds his own business because it's not his problem to begin with. Fucking cash whore…

"Hello, Farmer." Oh great, now 'ranty mc rant rant' and his little sidekick are here to steal my artifacts. "I have come to steal your artifacts. Dwarf, get the merc! Our time is short."

Dwarf, being the brute asshole that he is, raised his Viper 5 and ordered the merc to drop what he was doing. A closer look at the SMG showed a silencer attached at the end of the barrel. Shishak pulled out a SIP-t M200 that was also silenced and stepped toward my currently sore body while he devilishly grinned at my fallen form.

"The merc did his work quite well over you, Farmer. Now then, onward to business…" A light chuckle escaped from his mouth when he noticed the cables running to the taser where the merc dropped it. After picking up the non-lethal device, he placed the barrel of his pistol underneath my chin. "Where are the artifacts that you have? I suggest you answer quickly. Time is money."

I scoffed at his piss-poor attempt in threatening me and calmly replied with, "At your mom's house."

The only response I got was a quick, spastic shock before being prompted with the same question again. Shit, why do tasers have to hurt so much?

"Where ARE the artifacts? I won't ask you again." Shishak looked over his shoulder toward where the door is at and turned to me with another smug grin. "I could do this all day, if time was on my side."

"I… told you…" I gave a small hiss, "It's… at… your… mom's… pla- AAaaaAaaAAAaaaaRRRGGGHHH!" The taser in his hand rapidly clicked every time he pressed down on the trigger.

"Wrong answer, Farmer." This time, his expression darkened as he nudge the barrel upward and drew his face closer to mine. "You have ten seconds to tell me where they are before I shoot you dead. The last stalker I made a deal with at least had the decency to honor his side before I let him and the hostage walk away unharmed. You should know how fair I can be when it comes to my word."

"Yeah, because… kidnapping stalkers for ransom… worked _soooo_ well for you the last time." A brief shake to the head later left me dazed for a while as I moaned about the slight pain in my muscles from the shock.

"Five…" He counted off, not taking his eyes off me for any given seconds. The same can be said for Dwarf, who still had his weapon trained on the merc.

"Dude, I'm not telling you shit so go fuck of-AaaaRRRrrrrGGGgggHHHHhhh!"

"Four~" Yeah, you're real fucking funny there, asshole.

"If you kill me now, then you won't be able to find what you are looking for! Do you think I put everything all in one spo-AAAArrrRRgh! Shit!" The taser was finally used up when it stopped shocking my body. Honestly, who the hell would bring a taser into the Zone!? It's not like everyone can drop instantly after a few zaps.

"Hmph, battery is dead." Shishak frowned and tossed it over his shoulder, causing the cables to rip out of my neck with a slight sting. "No matter, I can improvise. Where was I… ahh, three."

"Two words: Fuck. You." Another heavy slam against the back of the helmet almost made me wish he'd shoot me already so I don't have to deal with headaches later on. Almost.

And why the hell is there duct tape all over the ceiling? Did the merc tape himself up there so that he can ambush me while I came in without looking up? Gosh, I never thought these people could get so creative nowadays…

"One." His trigger finger slowly tightened around the trigger.

"Hey, what the hell happen to 'Two'!?" I pointed out in complaint.

The bandit leader wagged his available index finger in front of my face, "Tsk tsk. You should be more worried about what happens right after _one_. So, any last words?"

. . .

Damn, he got me there.

"Alright… agh… fine, I'll tell you." My throat felt raw from the constant howling so I pointed my finger at the supply crate next to the front of the desk, to which he glanced. "The artifacts are in there. There is a lock combo for it, but I can open it for you."

The trench coater stood up with a satisfied smile and gestured at me to pick myself up to do it while his gun was still pointed at my direction. "Very good. Very, very good. You go do that. Remember, no funny business."

Unfortunately for him, I had something funny planned at the top of my head once I managed to get up via a few wobbling attempts for stabilization.

"Of c-course," I croaked with a hidden smirk behind the mask, "just let me- OH MY GOD, IT'S JACK!"

"**Where!?**" His head quickly snapped toward the doorway in panic and anger. Dwarf also followed along, not keeping his eyes on the merc and paid for the mistake by a sudden neck chop strike that knocked him out at an instant.

Hehe, suckers.

I batted the gun out of his hand and took his right arm into a standing lock, twisting it all the way to his backside while he screeched in pain.

Yessssss… that's right, squeal! Serves him right for the shock torture!

A small quick bash to the head against the wall made him unconscious so that I can deal with the hired bastard who tried to kidnap me, only to turn around and find him right in front of my face. This elicits a yelp of surprise from me when I felt an iron grip around my throat with his one hand while the other attempt to restrain my flailing arms. I retaliated with a frontal kick to the groin and pushed him off as he grunted in pain, clinging to his jewels. Seems like all those hardcore fighting, close quarter combat, martial arts crap he had been through didn't pay off for him if he still can't take a hit to the balls. For me, I'm just improvising to save my own life so style and pain tolerance practices means moot if you don't allow some part of your fear to take over.

While the merc is in the middle of recovering, I bent down and quickly snatched Shishak's pistol off the floor and aim the piece at him to show that I was done with this bullshit.

"Alright merc, hands up in the air!" I ordered, watching him carefully. "Don't even think about getting that shooter near your foot! Any fast moves and you'll get a bullet for your trouble!"

He complied silently, inching away from the Viper just so he can lower his chances of getting shot. Man, this guy is dangerously creepy for a paid gun. Normally, I would hear some words from the roving mercs inside the Wild Territory next to Rostok, but this guy might be the quiet type judging from how little the noises he made during our confrontation. I'd hate to be that somebody who crosses him or is on his priority target list much like right now.

The celebratory uproar of another successful artifact delivery can be heard outside my room, much to my disdain on how the sounds of loud scuffling that happened in here just a couple minutes ago manage to elude their hearing. I guess happy hours are very fun for a lot of people to not pay any notice to their surroundings. Drunken people are deafened people, anyway.

This pretty much explains how suspicious people such as Shishak and Dwarf could easily slip in without anyone batting an eyes worth of notice in the first place because they're already bandits. My mercenary 'friend', on the other hand, may have had to resort to real stealth since nobody likes them and their 'kill everyone but us' mentality. If they're so goddamn professional, they wouldn't need to resort to that at all if there were other alternatives to use.

"Alright, _buddy_, here's how we are going to do things. I ask you a question, you answer it. You answer wrong, I shoot you."

"And what happens if I answer all of your questions?" He spoke in a quiet tone.

Oh, so he finally says something. This should go well.

"Then we will see what happens next." My left hand pointed at the ceiling. "Did you duct tape yourself up there, knowing that I never look up?"

He gave a nod.

"Good, that's one thing out of the way. Second question: Who hired you?" I readied my finger around the trigger. "I would be careful with this one, if I were you."

"Jack."

Well, that was easy. Too easy, if you asked me, since the usual mercs never tell who hired them.

"Okay, we're making progress here. So, third and final question: How much is he paying and what does this have anything to do with me?" Coming from Jack, I wouldn't be surprised that he would be able to scrap up that much money to hire a professional.

"50,000 Rubles for your capture," the merc didn't even hesitate to tell me right away and then added, "10,000 extra to kill Shishak and his second in command as well."

"Damn…" I blanched at the high amount on my head. 50,000 RU just to take me in alive? Holy shit, that's a lot of dough the loan shark is offering. "…did he tell you why? Wait, you know what, never mind that. I think I know what he wants."

The smug fucker also wanted my artifacts that Shishak was after. Seriously, what the fuck, I probably shouldn't have told Beard about it. Words spread around too quickly in the Zone. If Jack got a hold of me, he'll do more than what I've been through now.

Shit… what a dilemma this is. If I give away the artifacts, all my work would have been for nothing. If I kill the guy now, then Jack will just hire more goons to come after me. I can't take out the source without some serious manpower, so that's out. Hurgh, this really isn't the best day I had in mind. Fucking bandits…

"What if… I pay you more than what Jack is offering? A counteroffer, yes, that's right. I can give you a much better deal if you agree to kill Jack for me." I hope he accepts stash locations…

He gave it some thought for a while, meaning I might have a chance to get away with it if he takes the deal. I don't care if he kills Shishak; the guy is on the verge of turning into a bigger problem if he decides to take the competition with Jack to a whole new level of banditry. If this goes in my favor, then I will be cutting off two heads of a Chimera.

Meanwhile, the trench coater who I knocked out was beginning to stir himself awake with a loud pain-induced groan. A swift back heel kick to the face made him quiet once more.

"Hey merc, while you're thinking, go cuff Dwarf's hands to something so we won't have to deal with any interruptions." The pistol in my hand flicked to the direction of the still unconscious bandit to indicate who I was referring to. "You're still my prisoner, so get to it."

He complied without any complaint and placed the handcuffs on the douchebag's hand to the middle post supporting the top bunk bed before walking back to where he was standing. I had a few run-ins with Dwarf back in the Jupiter area during my artifact hunting expedition. The asshole and his buddies would always fire potshots at my direction whenever his patrol spotted me. I guess he'd forgo his usual Chaser 13 for a gun that could actually HIT something at a rapid fire rate and be silenced. Either that or his boss made him use the Viper because of the silencer attachment. Holding Shishak's SIP-t M200, I wonder how they managed to get ahold of better weapons other than sawed offs and PMns. A lucky steal on enough stashes and ransom or is someone dealing hardware to them? Right now, that doesn't matter. I needed to settle this problem once and for all.

"The clock is ticking, merc. Have you made your decision yet?" I asked him.

He tilted his head and replied, "That would depend on what kind of offer you are making."

"Stash locations. Good ones that I know in Pripyat. I was planning on heading there to make my fortune, but I'm still concerned about the shit still going on inside the city." A.K.A, the ongoing activity of mercs and other major factions in the area still duking it out for territorial control, despite the military holding the CNPP and grabbing whatever artifacts they find.

"I need more than that." Damn, I was expecting him to say that.

"Alright, how about two valuable stash locations and two artifacts worth your while? A Shell and a Wrenched. Will that do?"

. . .

". . ."

C'mon, think about all the uses you would have for them! It's not just their value you should be concerned about. A Shell and Wrenched combination goes well for extra stamina!

After a brief moment of thinking, his small voice rose up a little more, "Give me one more good artifact, and then we have a deal."

Hook, line, and sinker you greedy bastard, "Fine, I'll throw in a Gravi, but that is my final offer."

Another deep contemplation later, he finally gave a short nod of agreement and was about to lower his hands until I harshly reminded him of his current position he was in.

"Ah, ah, hold it! I still don't trust you yet, so here is another game we going to play." I gestured with the pistol in hand toward the bunk bed while step near the desk and fish around the drawers. "See the lower bed? Look underneath the bottom and you will find a tray box with a heavy duty lock on it."

He did as he was told and got ahold of a large, wide metal box that I had it lined with lead between the layers to prevent radiation from leaking out. It was heavy, but not too much to lift and carry. After he showed it to me, I motioned him to place it on the work desk. A small key is held in my left hand and I begin to unlock the case with my eyes still glued to him. Not a second later, the case was opened and there I saw my current collection of artifacts that I have found throughout my two years in the Zone. I took only the Wrenched and Shell from the box and place it on the table, then closed and lock it for the time being.

"Half now, half later when the job is done and you bring back proof of Jack's death. Once you've done it, I'll upload the coordinates of these stashes to your PDA and give you the Gravi. Fair deal?"

"Yes." He simply replied.

"Good. Glad we've reached a compromise." I secretly slipped the key into my pocket. One of the stashes has a GP 37 assault rifle, but I can afford my losses. Besides, I'm more of a Tunder S14 kind of guy. NATO weapons are fast, accurate, penetrative and can take some decent beating but they end up jamming a lot after some time without repairs. Warsaw pact weapons are the way to go with reliability, firepower, and plenty of ammunition to find. 9x39mm SP rounds are really expensive, but they are really lethal against even heavily armored enemies. At least I know how to repair a Tunder since the design is no different than an AK, but acquiring the gun itself is another story. Furthermore, modifications will cost a pretty penny, but I'll get by when I get enough dough soon. The 'S' in S.T.A.L.K.E.R. is how we always earn our keep.

Now I have to deal with these two lug heads and make sure they won't be bothering anyone for a long time. Also, why is the merc still standing there?

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.

"Well, don't just stand there," I lowered the gun and took the case off the table, leaving the two artifacts for him, "take it. Half now, half later. Remember?"

"Of course," his tone lacked any hostility, but I could have sworn there was a hint of amusement behind his words as he walked forward and took his half of the pay. An inside joke, perhaps? I guess mercs are weird like that.

"Are we good now? You're not going to backstab me or anything, right?" I voiced my thought aloud, still wary of his next course of action. He still has his knife on him, so that leaves me some amount of worry but he still hasn't done something to prove his dishonesty, yet.

A silent nod from him did not ease my suspicion up one bit, but what else can I not trust about him? A merc is a merc. They'll either stick to their end of the bargain or double cross you to reap in the maximum benefit. I might do the same, but only if it's to people who are bound to screw me over or are asking me to clean up their dirty work that might bite me in the ass later on.

"Right, anyway, I should take care of the other uninvited guests or do you want to?" My head flicked to the currently standing Shish- Oh shit!

"The artifacts are MINE!" He declared and launched half of his right leg against my balls. He then snatched the gun from my hand and shoved me against the table. The case clattered on the floor, after I had to let it go to nurse my sore nuts, and the bandit made a grab for it as well. The merc nearly got to him before he felt the silencer pressed against his throat.

"Whoa, whoa there!" I called out in a strained tone but didn't turn around. "Let's not get too hasty here…"

"No, I will not, Farmer!" His voice was very cringing every time he shrieked at me. Jeez, why can't he have a deeper tone? "I overheard everything between your exchanges with the mercenary! I can't allow him to kill Jack, nor can I allow you to stop me from being the best bandit in this entire Zone!"

"Gee, they should give you an award for stealing other people's work." The sarcasm dripping in my voice was obvious, but lost upon his currently hysterical mind as he saw it as a compliment.

"Damn right, they should give me an award! I work harder than that dipshit! My crew and I have a better base AND we don't roam around like idiots in the middle of a faction war!" Well said for a thieving jackass.

I glanced at the merc that I hired and noticed that he was staring at something else other than worrying about having his air tube, along with everything else in the throat, perforated at point blank. Following his gaze, I soon found out the reason for why he was more interested in staring at the wall.

There _is no wall_. Actually, to be exact, there was only _a portion_ of the wall that was missing. Instead of seeing a gaping hole that shows what might be the next room inside the Skadovsk, a full green portal took its place without a sound. For some people that have not experience the oddity of spontaneous existence, their reaction of panic is plausible.

For us, and for me, however, such an instantaneous appearance of said green-portal would be considered a new anomaly in the Zone.

Still, even if it is a new discovery, it was still considered 'possibly dangerous' until tested by the right-minded people. Unfortunately, there are those in the Zone's community that were beyond hope of rationality. Noah, as much as I hate to accept it, is ironically the most logical person in the Zone that won't even hesitate to prove you wrong by whipping instant proof out of his ass. Most of us, on the other hand, not so likely as much as we wanted to believe ourselves that we would never do something so unbelievably stupid in the midst of surprise.

Turns out, I was one of those people when I told Shishak to turn around and even made another snarky comment about it just to rile him up. He didn't shoot the merc, but what he did when his eyes lay upon the gateway to whatever the hell is out there managed to stir a whole lot of fear out of him.

And by fear, I meant that he flung my entire collection of artifacts at it. This did not bode well with me after I saw all my hard-earned effort thrown out in sheer panic; by a bandit trying to steal it, no less.

If they could see my expression right now, it would be from jaw dropping horror to foaming anger in one go once the case disappeared inside.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT!?" I raged at the top of my lungs before lunging forward, gripping the collar of his trench coat, and shaking him while I spewed incomprehensible gibberish of fury.

The merc backed away from us, noting the change of colors that the portal was exhibiting to the point where the unique blend of its swirling wonders quickly turned into a vortex of doom. I didn't notice it at first, but when a strong gravitational pull caused me to snap out of my attempt to throttle the bastard, I then realized something was wrong. The screech of metal, the flapping of books on the shelves, Shishak screaming for his mother, the merc grabbing hold onto the desk that was slowly inching towards me…

I looked past the blubbering fool in my hand and saw the bastard child of what an emission would look like inside a Whirligig combined with a Vortex. The results… hard to say, but it did not look pretty at all after the first glance. In fact, thinking on this, I should be shitting my pants right now.

Instead, I could only stare at the abyss in a disturbingly serene mood as the pull sucked in whatever was not bolted to the ground. The examination bed came and went, all my books entered without a trace, my Compact spinning rapidly until it was devoured by the techno-colored miniature black hole. Even the room we occupied seems to be fading.

Oh god... what have we done?

Don't tell me that idiot accidentally divided by zero.

* * *

><p>"I really need to get a job." Saito breathed out a sigh as he walked away from the electronic repair shop with a still broken laptop in hand. "At this time, I won't have anything to play Metro: Last Light after cram school unless I get this thing fixed."<p>

The bustling streets of Tokyo, Japan gave him no glance or notice of his existence as if apathy was an everyday norm, leaving him to tread slowly back home in a gloomy mood for tomorrow's cramming of another exam he should be preparing for.

"I should look around the job ads to see if they need anyone during the weekends." He pondered to himself quietly while weaving through the crowd. "All I need is enough money to fix my laptop and maybe upgrade it so it could support the newer games I might get on Steam without the slow frame-rate speed or bugs."

Turning on another corner, the 17 year old young man paid little attention to the people around him while in the middle of his thoughts. He continued down the long road and saw the most peculiar thing not far from where he was standing. A metal case with a black handle stood in the middle of the road with no one paying any mind to it. Saito eyed the flat box briefly and looked around to see if anyone was searching for it. After couple minutes of waiting, he approached the object with wary eyes on an explanation that was slowly forming in his head.

Why hasn't anyone picked it up yet? It was as if no one even saw it there in the first place.

Curiosity let him draw closer to the mysterious case until he was in grabbing range, but did not touch it yet. Not a person noticed his awkward presence as he stood there staring at the container, wondering its purpose.

_If I picked up the case, would a naked person with a cell phone and a gun come at me? Will a missile hit Japan?_

Another nervous glance around the area, including at the clear sky, made him hesitant for a brief amount of time before he opted to grab the case to see what would happen next. Saito tucked the laptop around one arm and let his hand slowly wrap around the handle, its hard plastic held a cold and chipped surface indicating that it have been used before so its owner probably forgotten or is in the middle of looking for their property. When he lifted it up, it felt slightly heavy to hold. From his guess, it was either something valuable, dangerous, or both.

Either way, he had no idea what was inside. The latch appeared to be locked, as Saito couldn't open it when he tried to see the contents.

"It feels like I'm holding nuclear launch codes," he mused, giving the case a small shake. Nothing was heard, so loose paper documents were out of the question.

_Should I keep it with me or take it to the police? _A mischievous grin formed on his face as he began to move forward again.

_Nah… I want to see what's inside before I decide what to do with it._

"It's not stealing if no one here is going to claim it, so I'll just have a peek later and-" Suddenly the case let out a spark of energy that ran around the metallic surface rapidly. He did saw it, but never heard or felt its sting. Instead, the case started to radiate an abnormal wave of heat that made him jump in small surprise. Not a minute ago, it was acting normal. Now, with the object in question quickly gaining heat, he wondered if there is a bomb inside that was ready to explode at any minute.

_What is going on!? _His eyes began to widen in fear of what might happened next if what he thought was true. Was this the end of him and everyone else in the area?

Another spark shot out, and then another! More sparks of various colors appeared from the case as Saito dropped the box and watched them go by. The heat gradually stayed at a low temperature, but that didn't explain what was going on.

He was about to make a run for it when the sparking came at a halt and an orb of green slowly enveloped around the case until all was left is the swirling ball of energy in its place. The background around him begins to fade slowly, replacing all the colors with pure blackness while leaving the orb intact.

"What is happening!?" Saito shouted and saw nothing around him, minus the now crackling orb that was now turning from green to a dark red. The sound of thunder erupted out of nowhere causing him to jump again at the frightening noise as the ground then violently shook his core to the point of falling, but he held his balance fortunately.

Brief flashes of light temporarily blinded him for a few seconds, the thunderous roar growing louder with each shake. He could not speak, as terror crept into his mind and all he wanted to do now was scream at the void of darkness.

A sudden pull jerked him toward the enlarged orb that was emitting clouds of lighting around it. He tried to claw his way out of the pull, but there was nothing to grasp. The thing was quickly sucking him inside. The end was near, and he couldn't do anything about it.

"I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!" He howled his final words and then there was none.

The emission orb receded itself into nothing, leaving behind a dropped laptop left in the middle of the living streets of Tokyo, Japan.

* * *

><p><em>Current time of event… <em>

"Feels like I've been turned into cattle…"

A brand with silly scribbles on the back of my left hand, burned to last. I don't know how it got there, but I was hugely surprised when I took off my glove to examine the damages. The skin was alright and I didn't feel any more pain when I flexed it a little. Given my current experience, the smell of burnt flesh should be lingering and yet it did not hurt at all when I moved my hand. That girl did something to me, and I want to find out soon enough once the heat is off us, no pun intended.

But first, I need to find a safe place to stash all my shit that went through the Emission Portal or 'EP' as I personally dubbed it. Luckily, the examination bed and medical table with wheels came along for the ride, though I don't see the bunk bed or desk anywhere; must be a weight limit or something. Well, who cares, I still have the artifact case and my supply crate so it's not much of a loss.

"What the hell is _that_?" Seems like I'm not the only one who went through that unpleasant trip.

Shishak was busy gaping at the tattoo that was also on his left hand, from what I've noticed, along with the other two who shared similar reactions. The merc glared at the thing as if it was cancer while the kid gawked with his (How to put this) seemingly amazed expression. Either that or it's probably amazingly horrified. I don't know.

What I do know is that I want my gas mask on to provide +1 creepy ominous presence and badassery. I bent down to my knees and picked it off the ground while the Japanese kid said something to me that managed to complicate things a little bit more for my comfort.

"Are you a stalker?" His question sounded innocent, but it held a sense of familiarity in that tone. Again, I was thrown off by how accurate it sounded and that I understood what he said just now similar to pinky. With that, I decided to play a little game just to be on the safe side.

"Define 'Stalker'." I intoned nonchalantly, turning away from him and other prying eyes to take off my helmet. The black balaclava hid the back of my head as I strapped the gas mask on my face and then placed the helmet back on again.

The kid took a closer look at my uniform, saying nothing while he tries to piece together of what he knew about my occupation. As he did so, I went to stack what little I have for books on the bed and place the larger items there for last. For the case, I planned to hide it somewhere that nobody would least expect it to be hidden. That, or find a remote place with little to no civilization and make a base camp, probably underground if I have to dig.

Meanwhile, my other 'buddies' were having a chat with the balding adult version of Harry Potter and showed him their left hands when he asked to examine the markings on them. The kid was still standing there staring at me while the rest of the crowd started to disperse by flying off in the air, with only the pink haired witch left to fume in her thoughts.

I shit you not; they literally _flew_ _up_ in the _air! _

Man, if I was high as the sky right now that shit would've been fucking funny.

Actually, scratch what I said about Pinky brooding around. She's stomping over to me right now with a scowl that spells 'trouble'. I could care less if she was going to launch a tirade of something on her mind, but getting my balls kicked again wasn't going to happen this time.

"Familiar!" She shouted a command in an angry tone, pushing past the blue eyed Japanese boy while he exclaimed a small protest. Pinky got more agitated when I didn't respond to her call and made more furious noises involving insults thrown at me such as "Insolent commoner!" and how I should respect my betters. Hah, respect isn't given freely, girly. You have to earn it by respecting others around you.

"I order you to drop everything you are doing and respond!" The loudmouth tried again, this time with more horrid volume. Being me, I didn't bother to say anything back at her. If she wanted my attention, then it wouldn't kill her to be more polite. If I called someone a cocksucker for no apparent reason, would that person want to have a pleasant conversation with me? It's not rocket science to know what happens next.

"Familiar! Do as you are told and face me at once!"

"He is not going to listen if you keep raising your voice at him." Oh look, the merc is trying to be the middle man. "And neither will I, for that matter. Yell at us, if you wish. I assure you, no results will be given to your satisfactory if you keep up with that attitude of yours."

"That is not up for you to decide!" She screeched and pointed a finger at him. "I am your master, you are all my familiars! That is how the bond of master and familiar goes!"

He shook his head once and turned to walk away, "Then I'm afraid you have the wrong people. I'll let you carry on to whatever important business you have with him."

"Urrgh! Out of all the creatures I could have summoned, it had to be a bunch of useless commoners that cannot even follow a simple command!" The girl threw her hands up in the air, glaring holes at my back and was eager to attempt another unsuccessful string of orders that not even a Monolith would want to bear any longer. Shishak, the merc, and the kid stood aside to watch the show, but geek man had other plans for me when he made his way before I was ready to jet out of here.

"Excuse me," the man clears his throat behind me, "I humbly request that you allow me to see your familiar runes, if you may. It will only take a few seconds for me to take note on this, sir."

. . .

Well, when he put it that way… sure, why the hell not? At least this guy knows how to get someone talking in a PROPER way. I bet the majority of people like Pinky there are stuck-up to the core, if I could understand what snobby comments those kids were making before we got frenched in the mouth.

My body did a complete 180 spin to face him and held my left hand out, much to Pinky's disbelief. Maybe that was her intention in the first place. It would have been easier if she had asked me to have my hand checked in the first place without screaming orders loud enough to drive a zombified stalker back to reality just to tell her to shut up.

A short scan later, he thanked me and scribbled more notes in his book before walking off, leaving us to our own device. Nah, I wish that last part actually happens without Pinky's eyes glowering at us, specifically at me for causing her more trouble.

It's not my fault I refused to give my time to an indigo brat demanding for my attention.

"Familiars, to me!" She announced in her commanding voice once more, and then pointed her wand at my direction. "I will discipline you accordingly when everything is settled."

Yeah, sure you will, right after I'm done with my own problems.

"Umm…" the black haired boy hummed at the awkwardness that has been happening around us from the start when we all mysteriously appeared from the EP. Well, at least I think we all did. "We should probably see what she wants."

. . .

Yeah, we probably should. I can't ignore her forever, with all that lung power she got. Why are the shorties always the loudest ones? Oh well, better get this over with.

"Hey boy, what was your name again?" I asked him while the four of us made our way to her and form up.

"Hiraga Saito." He answered. "I did not get yours in the beginning when we first met."

I pointed a thumb at myself, "Just call me Farmer."

"Farmer?" Saito replied with a head tilt.

"Everyone calls me that in where I come from, let's put it that way."

Saito nodded, albeit confused still, but went with it in the form of a sincere smile. "Yes, Farmer-san."

Seriously, with a smile like that, I can picture him piloting inside a Gundam fighting Godzilla with all those laser beam effects. Hehehehehe… makes me feel like a kid all over again.

"What is taking you two so long!?" And there goes my pleasant trip down to imagination land. Honestly, this girl is the definition of the 'Fun-Police' on lockdown. It's like everything we do is likely to be ruined whenever she waves her stupid stick ol' ban.

"Well, Saito, it seems like our moment of chit-chat will have to wait. Pinky over there is getting impatient. I wouldn't want to get kicked in the junk by her, you know."

A short wince of reminder made him power walk over to the group assembled line in a nick of time before me. I could not help but let a quiet chuckle escape from my mouth before rejoining with the guys once more.

Maybe this day might get a lot more interesting if I allow my curiosity to run.

. . .

. . .

God, I miss getting shot at by assholes in the Zone.

* * *

><p><em>Geez, what the hell is in this box!? It feels like an entire arsenal packed inside!<em>

Saito strained himself further to help carry the metal crate with Farmer up the spiral staircase. This went by at a slow pace, with the added weight of the tray case sitting on top. Fortunately, they were almost at the top of the second floor where their 'master' resided comfortably in her dormitory room. Even though Saito was leading the way, he still had trouble gripping the box without letting it slip and come crashing down.

"Don't worry; we're nearly there, kid." The tall man in the armored blue/white patterned camo suit kept his grip steady. "Just make sure you don't drop it. That is my mini-armory you are holding on to."

_Hah!?_ _So my assumptions were true! He IS a Stalker! That is so cool!_

"Hey, Farmer-san, I've thought about my question back when we didn't know each other." He felt the flat surface of the stone corridor finally resting upon his feet, at last. "Is it true that you scavenge for supplies on the ruined surface of Moscow?"

"Hm, what was that about Russia?" Farmer hoisted the box again to get his bearing. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Well, doesn't your people live inside underground metro stations due to the aftermath of a nuclear war while fighting roving bandits and mutants?" He asked him.

"Uhhhhhhh, nooooooooooo~?" The man droned back, but then said more. "You got the scavenging, the mutants, and the asshole bandits right. But we don't live underground, nor is everything on the topside ruined from nukes. I think you got the wrong idea of what a Stalker is, boy."

_But everything about him seems to fit!_

"What year is it over your world?" Saito continued.

"2014. Why'd you ask?"

They were at the right side of the hallway where a rolling bed with books and other miscellaneous piled on top and a square metal tray table sat next to each other. Both of them set the crate down to catch their breath, with Saito leaning against the wall while Farmer checked his items to make sure nothing was missing.

"I'm asking because that is the same year I am in before I got here." Saito inhaled the air greedily, a drop of sweat sliding down his face while catching his breath.

"Really?" He tilted his head in question. "How did you get here, anyway? Did you get sucked in to something?"

The young man nodded and wiped the sweat drop away, "Yes, after I touched a metal case sitting in the middle of a busy street. Nobody seemed to notice it except me."

He then pointed at the same object sitting on top of the supply crate, "Just like that one."

". . ." Now Farmer was eerily silent after he followed the direction of where the boy pointed at. Saito couldn't see his eyes, so he could only imagine that they were scrunched or narrowed when he mentioned about the case. This made him slightly worried at that point when the man went over to it, grabbed it, and then clutch it to his chest as if it was his own child.

"Farmer-san…?" He asked him in a careful tone. "Are you alright?"

Farmer did not respond, instead he held the tray case tighter and even growled out, "_My precious…_"

"Uhh…"

"You will never take it from me, you hear me! NEVER!" He started breathing heavily and drew closer to nervous boy, who tried to back away from him and only met the wall. "No ONE can! **REDRUM, REDRUM!**"

Saito raised both of his hands in front of him, sweat now pouring steadily from his face, "Whoa, easy there. I'm just wondering how-!"

"_It puts the lotion on its skin_," Farmer said creepily and inch closer to him, "_or else it gets the hose again._"

_What is wrong with this guy!? It sounded like he wants to molest me or worse!_

Suddenly, much to Saito's disbelief, the man burst into a raucous laugh, hooting obnoxiously at the briefly terrified boy before setting the case next to the crate. "HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, that look on your face was _priceless_!"

Saito's expression faulted into annoyance when realized that Farmer was only pretending to be deranged just to get a reaction out of him.

"That wasn't funny! I almost thought you were into boys for a minute there!" He shouted at the still chortling Farmer with wide-eyed irritation.

"Oh hoho, oh lord… I needed a good laugh once in a while." Farmer chuckled, holding his side. "Relax dude, I just wanted to let some stress out. Sorry if I made it awkward for a moment."

"Etcch~," He couldn't help but let a small grin form at his odd sense of humor. "Well, you got me good. Are you happy now?"

"Very." A thumbs up was sent his way.

A few wooden door creaked open, revealing some familiar faces that they saw peeking out: The tall dark skinned redhead from before was wondering what the racket was about, her short stoic friend with the blue hair stared at them in mild annoyance, while their pink haired master glared daggers at them with furrowed eyes.

"Some of us are trying to sleep, you know."

"Too noisy, cannot read."

"What are you two laughing about for? Get inside and be quiet!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Saito rapidly waved his hand in apology and sent a wary look at Farmer.

"What?" He shrugs at the boy, "I didn't know it was getting late."

Both doors closed quickly, all but one left open by the fuming girl who was muttering a few obscenities under her breath.

"You are such a troll, you know that?" The black haired boy chided at him.

Farmer shook his head once and gestured for him to pick up where they left off while placing the tray case on top, "Believe me, you do not want to hear me sing that song before or after I get high. Now, help me get the crate inside. I rather not let them sit outside for someone to take my shit."

This made him raised a brow as he tried to find his grip again, "Are you an addict?"

"Marijuana isn't addictive, kid." He brushed the comment off. "I'm talking about weed. The 420, if you get my meaning."

"Oh," Saito still held onto his frown, "but those are highly illegal in Japan."

"Then boy, are you missing out," Farmer let out another hearty chuckle when he stepped into the dorm room, "not that I'm encouraging you to do it, by the way."

"Encourage what?" The small but unmistakably gruff voice of the mercenary sounded nearby, allowing the two some space while Farmer led the boy over to a corner farther away from another bed.

"Oh, just talking about drugs and how they're bad for you." Farmer was obviously lying and walked away to get his other belongings. "Thanks for the help, kid. Try chilling around for a while to get your bearing. I know I would."

The other man standing next to a small desk wrinkled his nose, but not at him, "This perfume is enough for any Freedomer to get high on; more than enough to replace the air in here because of its suffocating stench."

Now that he mentioned it, Saito did felt the heavy smell of sweetness wafting around, much to his discomfort. The room was still breathable, but he would have to get used to it if he have to say here.

"You should all consider yourself lucky to be allowed in here." The girl exclaimed at them, "Not many are given the privilege to serve their beloved master so faithfully!"

"Not many are likely to serve under you, in a matter of speaking." He shot back with a straight face and grimaced again at the smell. "Gah, I should put my gas mask on."

"You will do no such thing by putting that horrendous mask on!" But her command fell short after he unclipped his mask from the belt and strapped it on his face.

"I wish I had one of those with me." Saito joked with him. "You sure like to be prepared, Cutler-san."

Cutler switched his gaze to the boy and nodded in agreement, "It helps to expect the unexpected, young man. Maybe when things calm down, I will tell you more of my own personal plights. But for now, figuring out this land is first priority."

"This land has two moons." Shishak said dully, not taking his eyes off the window showing the oncoming night approaching.

"_What?_" Cutler strolled over next to him to see. "But how is that possible? We only have one back in our world."

"This land has _two moons_." The bandit droned again, mesmerized by the sight of its color. "Holy crap. I must be high right now."

The strawberry blonde gave them an odd look, but did not get up from the soft bed, "Of course Halkeginia has two moons. Why do you speak of another world? All familiars summoned by their mages originate from this continent."

"Yeah, but here's the problem, Pinky." Farmer came in with the rolling bed and positioned it a couple meters away from his crate. "We're NOT from your continent or of this world. In fact, seeing that we're dressed differently than everyone else, it shouldn't be too hard for you to guess that we come from elsewhere unless your medieval dung brain is too primitive to understand my concept."

"Who are you calling primitive, commoner! I am Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Valliére and you **will** address me properly!" She scolded in a seething tone. "One wonders if I summoned a bunch of savages from that wild country that is Germania! At least our commoners are more willingly loyal to the Tristain kingdom."

This only made Farmer wave off one of his hands in dismissal as he left to get the medical table, "See what I mean? The use of unnecessarily long titles, pointless demands, and your extreme superiority complex says it all."

"Why you insignificant, boorish-!"

"Can't we all get along with one another?" Saito butted in an attempt to defuse the situation. "I mean, we don't know each other that well so maybe we should take a deep breath and-"

"Shut up, you dog!" Louise yelled and got up in front of his face. "Out of the four I've summoned, you have to be the weakest one of all!"

She then gave a single wave at the two lingering men still staring out the window, "At least they are armed with their strange, blocky weapons. You don't even have a blade on you to defend yourself! I must have summoned a peasant alongside warriors!"

_Wow, for a super cute girl, she sure is ungrateful and downright scary._

Saito inched away from her with an anxious look plastered on his face.

"Actually, I only have a knife on me right now." Cutler mentioned off-hand.

"And I don't have my gun." Shishak patted his trench coat, sulking. "Just a knife, sadly."

Louise's face grimaced when she heard the dreaded smug voice of _him_ calling out in the most deliberately cheerful tone that did not put her mind in ease.

"Oh, I have a whole bunch of guns with me, sitting inside the crate. Even your pistol and SMGs, but I'm not giving it back for the time being," The armor cladded man closed the door behind him and pushed the square table next to his bed. After that, he turned to the two gazing at the night and lean to the side to get a view. "Something interesting out there?"

"There are two moons up there, one big blue and a little red one." The merc scooted a little to make room for him. "See for yourself."

"Oh really?" He looked out the window and saw the results of their discovery. "Nice~! If had a blunt on me right now, I would be tripping major balls at that. Hell, I'd probably paint it while getting _high_!"

"Heh, I guess even stoners can appreciate art," The boy rubbed behind his head with a smirk of amusement at that comment. "At least you guys are alright."

Farmer turned his head and gestured for him to come, "What are you standing there _for_? Get your ass over here and check this sick shit out!"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming." Saito laughed and stood in between Shishak and Farmer once he got over there. "You are right; it is interesting to look at."

Meanwhile, the young mage just gape at them in a mixture of confusion and outrage as she continued to be ignored despite her angry calls at them.

"Hey! You can go back to your sightseeing when you are done attending to your master's needs!"

"Yeah, in a minute, hold on," The one called Farmer dismissed the importance of their order with a hand wave. His display of defiance only got her more riled up.

"I will not 'hold on' for your unimportant gawking! All of you will come over here at this instant!" She hollered another command, her blood boiling at their complete imprudence.

Saito spared a nervous glance over his shoulder at the currently livid girl demanding for their attention and half-muttered, "I think we should do what she says this time. Something tells me we might regret it soon if we continued ignoring her."

Farmer's voice was none too quiet when he replied to him, "Oh don't be such a pussy, Saito. She can't do jackshit to us. Besides, what is she going to do, cast 'Fireball' at us? Hah! Hey little girl, go play with your dolls or something. _Grownups_ are gazing at the moons."

"Coming from you, she might be tempted to do something rash and-" Before Cutler could finish his sentence, Louise's voice interrupted him with the very words chanted at them with maximum fury in her tone.

"**Fire Ball!**"

"Wha-"

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!**_

* * *

><p>"She just <em>had<em> to cast '_Fire Ball_' at us, didn't she?" I muttered venomously under my breath, brushing off the soot that covered my suit while shouldering my weaponless backpack still holding my usual stuff from the last trip. "_Oh no, look what you made me do, commoner. Now do my chores and be a good familiar! _Yeah, I ain't doing shit for you…"

Leave it for her to start throwing a hissy fit just because she couldn't take a joke. After I mentioned guns again, she started going on a rave about how they are the most dishonorable weapons in the hands of those who can't use the rightful magic of Nobles, blessed by some dude named Brimir and some shit I tuned out.

It was bad enough that she exploded the entire room without destroying it and _us_ with it, but once that spoiled brat started taking off her clothes in front of us and demanded that they be washed by throwing them at me that was the final straw. If I wanted to join Duty, ass kissing and hardcore rules should have been part of my favorite hobbies.

And really? She actually thought taking off her clothes in front of a bunch of strangers, let alone, three adult males and a boy, was such a good idea to begin her introduction when becoming the master of the stalkers in the first place? I know she would make a pedophile's wet dream come true if any of us had a more _promiscuous_ thinking.

So I tossed the clothes over my shoulder when she finally went to sleep and got out to clear my head in order to figure out how to get the fuck out of this headcase place. She summoned us here, right? So maybe there's a spell to bring us back home if I ask the right person for the job. Only problem is where am I going to get the money to pay them off? I could do some odd jobs for the rich, but their pay rate must be horrible if this world is filled with stingy, hocus pocus assholes like her.

Robbing someone is out of the question, since I'm not a stinking bandit like Shishak and I don't want any trouble with the police here. That only leaves mercenary work and inventing the assault rifle, _again_.

. . .

These people have blacksmiths, so there is a good chance I might land myself in a good position and run my own business or co-op with someone who is eager to learn something new and keep their mouth shut in a town or city. I know the insides and designs of an AK, some NATO guns, and most blowback semi-automatic pistols; it shouldn't be too hard to manufacture the parts with the right materials such as pure steel smelted with other elements to prevent corrosion and short wears, despite the parts themselves that are complicated to make even with master craftsmanship. Modding a modern gun is one thing I'm not good at, but creating one out of scratch and improvising existing ones here on the other hand…

Yes, it could work out well for me. Pinky did say something about flintlocks being the newest introduction of projectile weapons beside bows. Please, a bolt action can do it better with power, clips, and range.

But what about making bullets and smokeless powder to make sure the gun doesn't get gummed up? How am I going to manufacture those? I know black powder would fuck up the internal mechanism if we're talking about rotatory bolt gas-operated firearms, but my knowledge in bullets is just shooting them. I can build modern guns like pistols and rifles, but ancient stuff like bolt and lever actions? I probably won't be able to tell the difference if I compared it with a hunting shotgun and a muzzleloader's ramrod sticking out of my ass.

Maybe if I pay the merc with more valuable shit, he'd help me with that. Mercs are smart; smarter than me if he can speak different languages while the rest of us only know one. Centerfire cartridges are not something anyone would see in this backwater fantasy land, so I might need his professional insight in order to make the cartridges.

That girl, what was her name? Oh yeah, Louise. She mentioned about swords and peasants. Hearing her say that nearly made me assume that there are no guns in this world until she mentioned 'weird, blocky weapons'. Either she mistook the bullet magazines on our vests or was dead on with the guns I had on me, this made me realized that I could start something new here for everyone. The bitching about dishonor and how magic is better pushed her point far beyond my comfort zone.

Still, as much as I would like to prove my point that depending on magic will only bring their downfall much faster, an angry mob armed with AKs is the very last thing I would want to see if I ended up ruining a country just because of my ego. A revolution would be a nice change, but it is not something I had in mind. I'm crazy, but I'm not _that_ crazy after two years in the Zone.

Which kind of reminds me, doesn't that make me an expert already if I've survived whatever horrors were thrown at me for a long time and all I came out with was more paranoia and misanthropy? Don't tell me I'm turning into another Noah with a pet mutant and a need to blast the door with bullets since I will assume everyone is out to get my artifacts, which is kind of true on my part. Hell, if I turn out like that loon, the door would be rigged with a grenade instead because I'd be much more batshit than him. Legendary stalker or not, I just want to get rich and live my life as a hermit in the big lands.

Too bad my dreams will have to wait until I think up of something to-

_Bump!_

"Ow." Came my flat reply when I collided against a stone wall while in the middle of a monologue. A brief look around revealed that I was still in the same dormitory halls and that I was walking back and forth, going through my deep thoughts.

"I really need to pay more attention to my surroundings if I'm going to think and move at the same time." I sighed and shook my head at my own silliness. I hope no one was watching…

"Farmer-san!" My head jolted up as I turned around to see Saito holding onto a balled up school uniform in his hands. He casted a concern glance at me when he got closer, thinking carefully on where to begin his sentence with. I jumped the gun before he could say anything and took the clothes from him.

"Let me guess, the pink haired brat realized that I wasn't going to do her dirty work at all, pushed it to you, and then mentioned about a more severe punishment for me when I get back. Am I right?"

He was flustered at first, but nodded quietly and was about open his mouth to speak before I interrupted him again.

"Yes, you can come with me." I said as I turned around to head for the staircase. "Now would be a good time for you to start asking questions. I'm bored and those two are not good at holding conversations without asking for something in return."

The boy quickly followed next to me, but not before giving my arm a small pat in a show of humor and mild annoyance. "You don't seem to be the type to open yourself toward people, do you, Farmer-san?"

"Boy, just call me 'Farmer' without the 'san' at the end. I don't care much for honorifics, so speak your mind and don't beat around the bush."

Saito nearly snorted at my comment as we made our way down the stairs, "That is your expertise, not mine. How come you never gave a full answer when I asked if you are a stalker?"

"Because I assumed you knew what I did." I replied without missing a beat. "Plus, if you go around calling us stalkers, then the people here would get the wrong idea."

"But I don't know what you actually do for a living," He mentioned, noticing a pair of students at the mid-level base of the stairs. A handsome boy adorning his black cape (and exposed chest through a partly unbuttoned dress shirt) was whispering sweet words of romance in to the ears of a young girl sporting her own brown cape while they were under torchlight.

"Ahh, my dearest Katie~. I simply must try your fantastic soufflé one of these day." The blond twiddled with a red rose between his fingers and flashed the whitest smile with impish eyes gone unnoticed by the currently blushing girl with brown hair.

"Oh Guiche~, you can be the first to sample it any day!" Her voice gave a faint of a whisper to him with a small infatuated smile.

"If you must insist," He brought his face closer to hers, eliciting a cute squeak from the flustered girl.

Yuck. If this is how they portray romance here, then they don't know what true love is about. Sugar-coated words and double-standard remarks would only get him so far before that girl realizes how much of a sham he really is.

If I remembered correctly, wasn't he hanging around that other blonde with the drill hairs?

. . .

Oh, I see what he did there. He's two timing them. Hah, he is so going to get fucked up badly if they found out about it. This would make a great blackmail if the guy decides to fuck with me.

And his name is Guiche? Isn't that the area between a guy's balls and anus? Hahaha, I can't wait to make fun of his name too!

Anyway, Saito and I are going to walk past them and hope they don't bother noticing us. I have enough problems as it is with Pinky and her stupid cultures. If all these kids are like her, then I can see why they have no problem putting each other down.

"Hold it right there, commoner." Fuck my life…

Both of us halted in our track and turned to face the blond and his other 'acquaintance' in question and stared at him while he gave us a short glance, notably at me.

"You have an interesting golem there with you," Guiche commented to Saito, who looked confused at him, "what is a commoner like you doing with it?"

"Golem?" He blinked and glance at me.

The black-cape noble pointed at me with his fresh rose, "Yes, that golem imitating as a human. I never thought Louise the Zero would stoop so low as to use deception by having to place two golems and a pair of paid actors just to prove us wrong. Summoning a familiar and creating a golem are two different methods." He shook his head with much swag.

Golem, golem, golem… hmm… this gives me an idea. Golems are kind of like robots, right? Let me give this a try.

"So tell me, how much is she paying you to act as her 'familiars'?" He smirked while slowly circling around me. "Such a unique, lifelike design, a pity it has to be used out of foolish desperation than proper servitude. Perhaps I can purchase it off her hand once she is done playing pretend with us and admit that-"

"_You always know a Working Joe_." I abruptly cut him off with my best attempt of a robotic voice. This managed a surprised yelp from him as he jumped back with arms spread out and his expression turned shock.

"T-that _thing_ can still talk on its own!?" He brandished the rose at my face and glared, "I thought it was given a set of commands and nothing more! A semi-intelligent golem is very rare around these parts."

Oh man, he looks really freaked out right now, I should do it more!

"_You are becoming hysterical_." I leaned my face forward in a jerky fashion toward him. "_Hold still. Your presence has been logged_."

The Casanova wannabe did not understand what the hell I was saying to him, but that rose wand seems to be wavering a little too much on the jittery side for him to start casting first and asking questions later.

His tone wasn't holding any better either when he began to shout phrases at me.

"I command you to move back this instant!"

"_Negative_," I stood my ground, trying hard not to laugh my ass off, "_let's resolve this amicably._"

"Commoner, order your master's golem away from my prestigious body before I destroy it." He also held his own, but the slight quivering in his voice almost made me want to do a sudden jump scare and grab his throat while he screams like a little girl.

"Uhh…" Saito looked back at me, then to the blond fop, then back to me again before rubbing the back of his head in a sheepish manner. "…I don't understand what's going on here."

C'mon, kid. You should be savvy enough to know where I am going at. You asked me about stalkers, for crying out loud!

"Do as you are told, commoner! Control that rogue construct or else face your punishment for this insolence!"

"But I don't know what he's…"

Fuck it; I'll just drop a hint.

"_Don't be such an Angry Joe, sir_."

"Oh, oh! Yes, I understand now!" A spark of realization appeared in his eyes as he smiled brightly at me. "Initiate Dance Protocol-75."

Bingo.

"_Confirmed, initializing dance protocol_." My upper body dipped forward suddenly, the helmet touching the rose petals, before standing straight up and doing The Robot (sadly, without the music to shake that groove) while saying the lines of, "_It is time to boogie_."

A moment of awkward silence followed along with the blond and the brunette girl just staring at my hip moves as if I came from another planet. Guiche lowered his wand and made a face that was torn between freaking out and curiosity. The girl was just plain scared of me.

Saito tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't help letting a chuckle out when he saw me shuffling my feet sideways and telling them to "_Step back_", which was also funny because they hit their backs against the wall doing so.

"We're just going to leave now. You keep that golem out of trouble, commoner." Guiche grabbed the girl's hand and gently tugged at her to move, "Come along, Katie. Let us linger around elsewhere and leave those two to carry on their master's work."

"Yes, I do believe we should." Katie hurried along with him, not looking back at the odd scene behind. Once they were gone long enough, I dropped the act and slapped Saito's back as we broke down into a hysterical fit of laughter at what just happened.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH, OH MAN! THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE? OH GOD, IT LOOKED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO SHIT HIMSELF! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Saito leaned against a wall, holding his side and returning the favor by punching my arm playfully as he huffed for some air, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU EVEN WATCHED ANGRY JOE SHOWS UNTIL I REMEMBERED THAT LAST REVIEW. THAT WAS GOLDEN!"

"I KNOW, RIGHT?" It felt a little stuffy inside the gas mask, but I didn't care much for it even when the lenses started to fog a little; just watching their reaction made my day.

"Hoo… ho…" The boy wiped away the tears off his eyes and stretch his back a little before taking the clothes off the floor. "You sure know how to turn a confrontation into something else, I admit."

"Hey, when you live in the Zone for two years without constant human contact, you tend to pick up a few quirks along your life that holds little, but means something." I took the bundle from him again and flicked my head for him to follow.

Saito cocked his head to side while walking beside me and asked, "What is the Zone?"

"What, you never heard of it? C'mon, kid. You asked me if I'm a Stalker. That should answer your question of what the Zone is."

"But I don't." He replied.

I shook my head briefly as we step down the stairs for a short period and set foot on the first main floor, noting my surroundings closely for any shadows out of place and observing the décor around us in silence.

We wandered around for a while, still having no luck in finding somewhere that has running water to wash our _master's_ uniform and be done with it for the night. I wasn't tired at all to begin with, oddly enough, even though I was taken recently at night in the Zone. I guess adrenaline gives you a major kick in body for you to stay alert and expect a fight to happen despite how relax I felt. Then again, I am talking about staying alive and shooting anything that so much happens as to twitch the wrong way at me, whether it be mutants or people.

Another several minutes later yielded no results, so our best bet is to find a pond or fountain outside as an improvised method and make sure she doesn't notice the faint residue of scum on her blouse or something. Finding clean, non-contaminated water in the Zone was a real hassle when our suits got too dirty and we ended up smelling like shit if we didn't bother keeping up with our hygiene. Every once in a while I would get a large metal pot, try to find water that doesn't cause the Geiger Counter to click like crazy, collect it, and then get some burnable kindling to heat up the pot and kill off whatever nasty parasites and bacteria that were swimming around before letting it cool down. After that, all it took was getting a simple washboard out to scrub my shit off in cold wash. A long unpleasant wash it was, indeed.

"Maybe we should find someone who knows how to clean the clothes here." Saito suggested and looked around. "Louise mentioned about servants working in the academy. If we can find one of the staffs, that is."

"Whatever you say, kid." I let my head hung back slightly before giving it an audible crack to even out the stiff soreness. "I just want to get this out of the way and find a way to get out of here and back to where I belong."

"I know that feeling," he gave a long sigh, "I just want to go home and have my old life back. But this place, this new world, makes you wonder what it is like to live here. Summoning rituals, people flying away, magic spells… that is something you would only see in movies and video games."

"Tell me about it… meeting a girl with pink hair kind of piques your interest in a _strange_ sort of way." I glumly muttered. "Too bad she has to be the power tripping type. Seriously, that girl needs to stop being such a brat and get her head out of her ass."

I felt a small pat and turned my head to see Saito with a solemn expression that meant hearing something I am probably not going to like from him discerning my act.

"She is only behaving what she was taught to know. Compared to our mindset, it is no surprise that Louise thinks lowly of us because of our status and how we act. To her, we're just commoners who don't know any better than their high social class from my understanding."

My feet stopped walking, and so did his as we both turn to each other to have this important discussion. Meaning there will be some disagreements and maybe a lot of sarcasm on my part while we stood there to talk it out.

"Have you seen the way she acted when we first got here? She literally expected us to listen and do what she says without any complaints! And to top it off, she straight up declared that _magic_ is the symbol of nobility over the people who can't use it. That's called a superiority complex right there!" My loud outburst echoed through the main halls and was carried around for anyone to hear.

He grimly nodded, but continued, "I don't know about you after feeling that explosion, but I think we should be more careful around these people. We don't know much about them, so trying to learn their way of life would make it easier for us to know what to do."

"Just because they have magic doesn't mean they will always win at _everything_!" I spat out in frustration. "It's not the power that makes the person better. It is how they use it. What I'm seeing is that their fucking pride is going to get them killed sooner or later if they continued to act the way they are. A trained gunman with fighting experience can easily take them out by surprise or with the right tools and tactics. When we were brought here, the Emission Portal didn't just grabbed us. It took nearly everything from my room and into here. I could take them out without that much effort if I wanted to."

"Emission Portal?" He raised a brow.

"Never mind, just forget about that for now. Look, what I'm trying to say is that we shouldn't be walked over by those asshole all because of their right of title. You and I know that shit doesn't apply to us, and yet they deemed it so because they can cast magical bullshit out of their asses!"

"I agree with some of what you are trying to explain, but don't believe that our technology can fully trump what they can throw at us. All I am saying is that Louise is just as confused as all of us brought here." Saito urged on. "Of course she doesn't realize that we are different than her. I didn't like the way she treated us at first, just like you, but I took the time to think it over and figured that she might be willing to learn about our modern culture to the point of understanding us if we let her take the time to feel comfortable about it."

"Meaning, we have to play along and put up with her shit until she willingly opens up to us."

"That is what I am telling you, Farmer."

I let out an insufferable moan, knowing that what he said makes sense in the end, "Alright, fine. You're right, I get it. She needs to learn about us, but she isn't going to budge right away unless she feels more secured about her standing. I will have to talk to Shishak and the merc about this."

"His name is Cutler." Saito corrected.

"Fine, I'll let Shishak and _Cutler_ on this and see how they think of it." My finger was then jabbed against his chest. "But just so you know, once this is done, she and the rest of us will have to reach an agreement whether she will like or not. This is **not** an option or a debate she can weasel out of; I will make sure of it."

"I understand." He nodded, smiling. "A man chooses, a slave obeys."

"Goddamn, son," I let my finger off and chuckled at his appropriate use of the quote, "if you were my age right now, both of us would have been kicking ass and chewing bubblegum in no time. Only problem is that there's no gum to chew, but there sure are plenty of asses to kick!"

"Haha, so we cool bro?" Saito made a goofy grin.

"Yeah," I bobbed my head with heavy approval, "we cool bro."

"Awesome."

"Gnarly."

"Ah…" A light, feminine voice was heard next to us as we both turned to the person in question. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Oh, no, not at all!" Is it just me, or is Saito blushing at the sight of a nice looking girl in a maid outfit? "My friend and I are just having a long conversation. I apologize in advance if we were being too noisy. Do you work here?"

"Yes, I do." She answered.

Hmm… well, she does have a nice pair of knockers, so I don't blame him for checking her out. And that face she got. Wow, it's like she's giving off a lot of innocence. Did I remember to take my anti-rad pills along with the shot?

"I'm Hiraga Saito, but you can just call me Saito. This is my friend, Farmer." He introduced.

"Saito and… err… Farmer?"

"Everyone calls him that from where he lives. Don't mind his clothing as well, he is a treasure hunter."

"Oh, I see. Well, my name is Siesta. It is very nice to meet the both of you."

Eh, I'm alright. The pills are probably there, just in case. I'm just going to piss out the radiation pretty soon, so no worries. My main concerns is the artifacts and making sure that Shishak doesn't get his dirty paws on them; the same with everyone else who asks about the case. I can't let them know what I have in there. The plans for the guns will also have to be taken into consideration before I let someone take a closer look at it. One slip and everything will be a huge fuck up for me. I can't afford to mess it up, but even mistakes happen. It was only just a matter of time before I realize it.

"Sir Farmer, are you alright?"

Only a matter of timmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeee…

"Hey Farmer, aren't you going to say hello?" Someone was shaking my arm. "Hello, Farmer? Are you asleep?"

"Is there something wrong with him?" The maid's voice was tinged with worry. "Should I call for help?"

A smack against my arm managed to jolt me awake as I shook off the tired feeling and groaned, "Ugh... sorry, I was about to nod off."

Siesta giggled and gave a friendly smile, "It is alright. I know that feeling, too."

"You do?" I asked stupidly, blinking rapidly.

"Of course!" She nodded, her smile not leaving. "I've met treasure hunters before and they hardly rest that long, so I understand how you are feeling exhausted from all the work."

"Oh… right. Well, you know how we treasure hunters are." I leaned back and unwind my arms a little. "We see an amazing chest up ahead, so we always grab it with both hands."

"Uhh…" Saito was blushing madly when I turn to take a glance and noted his odd behavior. Siesta just cocked her head in confusion, while I stood there in my own stupor of not knowing what was going on. I looked around, and then turn to Saito again while I rubbed the side of the helmet as if I was missing something.

"What?"


	3. Chapter 3: Breaking Bronze: Part 1

_A/N: Here is the first part of the third chapter that starts off with Saito being the good guy, roguish Shishak being roguish, Cutler doing mysterious merc stuff, and Farmer acting as the cool uncle. Oh, and shit starts to happen. _

_Keep in mind that there will be some political references that may offend the audience, so try not to get serious about it; remember this is Pavlo speaking in his own opinion, not mine. I rather avoid a political shitstorm than start one._

_I've also read the book 'STALKER: Southern Comfort' and in the middle of 'Northern Passage', so I might be thinking of implementing some of their plot elements into the fanfic; there's already a Loner reluctantly cooperating with a bandit and a mercenary, but I'll doubt Farmer would want to be friendly with a monolith fanatic if he knew what they looked like. As I said before in the previous chapter, factions may vary and since we're talking about Halkegenia, one would not be surprised to see people or remnants of early modern organizations from the past centuries. _

_Anyways, enjoy!_

* * *

><p>Chapter 3<p>

**Breaking Bronze: Part 1**

* * *

><p><em>The next morning…<em>

The dimly lit room was quiet and still as the barest ray of sunshine leaked through the curtains. A young boy with black hair dozily snored away in his bliss on a medical bed while some of its current occupants woke up early to explore the academy's campus or otherwise. Not far from him, his pinkette master was curled up on her bed mumbling about cushy bonding hug times and someone's name that was unclear for now.

A tall shadow loomed over her at the foot of the bed with the devious intent of startling his victim, before going in for the main course. The figure cladded in oddly strange apparel hissed at the girl with growing volume of each sound made.

"Pssssssst!"

"Hmmmm…" Louise turned her head slightly to the side, not noticing the background noise as she kept sleeping.

. . .

"Psssssssssssst!" The shady figure tried again with a longer hiss.

"Nyeh~… five more minutes…" She mumbled and hugged the pillow in her arms.

. . .

. . .

"PSSSSSSSSSSSST!"

"Erm…?" Slowly, but surely, her eyelids begin to crack open while she groaned at being awoken when she didn't see the faint signs of sunlight yet. "It's not even light out…"

Something tall and oddly colored caught the corner of her eye so she shifted her view to the object that was standing at the end of her bed and widened her eyes suddenly when she saw a dreadful figure staring right into hers with its soulless black eye and sinister mouthpiece.

"Morning, sunshine~!" The ominous thing spoke to her in a sing-song tone.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Louise flung the pillow at the monster's head hard and backs herself against the wall; her shrieking caused the snoozing boy to jump and fall off the high bed. "What is this foul creature doing in my room?!"

The pillow '_Flumpt_' against the two-legged insect like beast and slid down harmlessly, eliciting a muffled chuckle from it. "Well, that's one thing on the list checked off."

_What?_

She narrowed her eyes at the talking insect before remembering yesterday's event and scowled at the man that constantly disregarded her commands the day she summoned the four of them here. What was his name again? Cutler?

"Hey girly, when you're done trying to melt holes into me, might as well get out of bed for a fresh start, yeah?" The armored commoner turned away, walking past the groaning boy who was picking himself up and toward the large metal box before crouching to his knees to fiddle with its strange lock combination.

Louise rubbed her eyes and grumbled at the man's back before getting out of bed, catching sight of her school uniform neatly folded and sitting on top of the wooden dresser. A loud "Aha!" directed her attention again at the unruly familiar as she watched him take a backpack out of the opened storage and place it on the floor. Some of various items unknown to her were also taken and placed inside the pack after the man opened it in a way she could not describe other than noting the many metal teeth lined around the interior of double strapped sack.

Before closing the box, he dug deeper inside after he took something out from one of the pockets of his dark trouser and was handling what sounded metallic by the opening and clattering noise it made. She couldn't get a clear view as his back was in the way and decided to question him later after her classes were done.

"Why is still dark outside?" She got out of bed and went to the window to look at the barely noticeable sun just rising. "And where are those other two?"

The man turns his head to her when he closed the box with a loud click, "Oh, it's still dusk out there. The sun just went up when I woke you. As for them, they probably left early to explore around."

An irritated glare rose at the idling man now putting the pack on his back and checking over the things he was missing through his quiet mumbling. This simpleton woke her up just when the sun had only risen?! By Brimir, is he that daft to disturb his master this early?

Her eyes veered over to the writing desk as an idea popped into her head. With each slow step, she strode over to the desk's drawer and yanked it open.

Saito stretched his arms and gave a loud yawn, watching the mood between the two occupants talking to one another. His eyes switched to the glowering girl and then to Farmer going through a list of things in his mind while mumbling some of them out, not noticing that Louise was already heading toward a small desk with single drawer and was taking a long, skinny black object out of it. A single gulp from him was all he could make at the scene.

"Familiar…" she growled, smacking the horse whip lightly against the palm of her left hand with an irate frown directed at the man still stuck in his thoughts.

"…Might need some filters for the mask, yes. Shouldn't be too hard to make for replacements…" He counted off.

"Familiar!"

"No wait, what about the activated charcoal? Shit, where am I going to get the chemicals to make them? At least the indicator says the filters haven't expired yet…"

"FAMILIAR!" She roared.

"My name is Farmer, not famil-!" Farmer whipped his head around at her and went silent for a while. He stared at the device held in her hand and pointed at her as he spoke.

"I-is that a riding crop?" He asked, baffled.

Louise's eyes held a deadly glint in them as she step forward to him, "Yes, it is a crop. I nearly neglected my duties by not enacting on your punishment for yesterday, so now is a good time to perform my discipline upon you for your persistent behavior. Assume the position!"

The whip cracked by her side.

. . .

. . .

. . .

"Pfffttttth…" The sign of a stifled snicker escaped from him as his body shook at the sight before him.

"I said 'assume the position', Familiar!" She seethed.

. . .

. . .

"Pffth-heehehehehe! Hahahah…"

Louise almost snarled at the pigheaded man when she got closer to him, "Do you think this is funny? Is my true rage worth seeing right before I inflict my reckoning on your worthless hide!? Or are you sobbing at my wrath, urging me to have mercy through your incoherent begging?"

"PFFFFFTTTT! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Farmer broke down on the floor and bellowed out at the most unexpected, hilarious moment of his life that filled the room with his high-pitched laughter as he continued to point at the furious girl in front of him.

"OH SHIT! HOLY SHIT! YOU-! THAT-! WHAT THE FUCK!" He plopped down on his butt, catching his breath at the sight only his imagination could ever make. "OH FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The pinkette was at a loss of words, much like Saito gaping at the agitated man with eyes bulging in surprise.

"Ohhhh…. oh ho, that was good. Hooh! Shit, that was unexpected…" Farmer panted, letting some more chuckles out of his system before standing up. "Whooo! Goddamn, Louise, if you wanted kinky foreplay then you're asking the wrong man for that job! Sheesh!"

"U-uh-uhhh…" A flush of red crept into her face as she continued to stammer and stare at the bewildering figure dusting himself off and patting the weird looking firearm on his right hip. "Y-y-you…!"

"You know," He leaned forward to her stupefied state, "if you were taller and more endowed, then I would consider your offer with some thought. Just wear some black leather and we are good to go!"

"Y-y-y-y-y-you filthy INSECT!" Louise threw the whip away like it was a diseased coated object and went for the kick, only for the man to step aside causing her to hit nothing but air as she flips and landed on her back.

"Nah uh! Not this time, brat!" Farmer glanced at the quiet boy watching them and shook his head while gesturing at the fallen girl with his index. "You know what? Fuck it. We're going to have to start early on the talk. Don't give me that look, kid. She needs to learn some modesty if all of us are going to live together."

"But-" Saito began.

"Now!" Farmer snapped. "I'm not going to deal with this shit constantly if she's going to act like this every single-fucking-day! Shishak and Cutler can hear it later; we are starting this right NOW!"

The Japanese clammed up after letting out a puff of air and allowed the man to do his thing with a defeated wave of his hand.

"Now then," Farmer turned his attention to the boiling girl that stood with her clenched fists, "let's all take a seat and discuss things like civil beings, shall we?"

* * *

><p>I wheeled the medical table over to act as my chair where Louise and Saito are at and sat down. The weight of my backpack did not bother me since I am used to carrying most of my gear around on long travels. Saito leaned against the wall near the queen-sized bed while the girl sat on the mattress, mustering her indecent glare as if it might make me reconsider my thoughts; fat chance that ain't happening.<p>

"Alright, here's the thing," I started off slowly with arms crossed, "I heard from Saito that you said there's no way to take us back home, so the four of us are pretty much stuck in this world until otherwise."

"That is correct." She replied non-to-kindly. "The summoning ritual is only one way; there is no such thing as a reversal spell."

I nodded in understanding, "Okay, so that leaves us with you. By that, I mean there will have to be changes for us to get along. Unfortunately, you are not exactly quick or patient enough to understand our situation, so here is how things will go between us."

"You are my familiars and everything I say-" I cut her off before she could even finish that sentence about dominating us.

"Uh, yeah, that's the problem I want to address in this matter. The thing is we're not animals or slaves to your rules. We are people who can think for themselves and have managed to enter a situational conundrum where cooperation is a key to our survival, whether forced or agreed upon. Now, you seem like a smart person since the 'Nobles' are supposed to have the best education from my understanding, so all we're asking of you is to listen to what we have to say BEFORE opening your mouth to interrupt me." I emphasized the word, beating her to the punch again when she tried to jump in. Seriously, how is she going to learn to be nice if she keeps using the aristocrat card?

She managed another frown but fortunately kept quiet for now. I continued onward with my explanation.

"Look, just because we have the brand doesn't mean you own us. Like I said, we are not animals. You need to treat us like actual human beings, not a bunch of fucking house pets sleeping on straw beds. I could walk out that door right now without a care because I can take care of myself; the same with Cutler and Shishak since we all come from a harsh environment. The kid can choose to come with us and we'll teach him how to survive on his own. The only reason why I even bother to have this discussion with you is because Saito here wants to give you a chance." That and I was not about to leave all my shit here in untrusted hands.

"So, what I suggest is that we form a cooperative partnership to comprehend each other with no hassle." From the look on her face, she doesn't like where I am getting at, but at least we got that stubborn girl to listen just for once.

"And what is this 'partnership' you have in mind?" She asked with eyebrows furrowed.

"An exchange of deals, to be exact," I cleared my throat and began to count off our demands. "For starters, you don't tell us what to do. That means we are not responsible for your chores unless you ask us nicely, then we will decide if we want to or not. Number two is that you treat us respect, and in return we will respect you back. Number three, lastly, is trust. If we can't trust each other then things get much more soured as quickly as I can say 'Oh fuck' for all of us."

Louise wrinkled her nose at me, "Must you always use such vulgar language in all of your sentences?"

"Hey, we all have our own way of talking unless you want me to stop, which is on rule #2."

"He does have a point," Saito added, "at least you'll have your end of the bargain."

"Alright, let's wrap this up a bit." My head leaned toward her. "In exchange of our demands, we'll pretend to act as your familiar but only if you address your commands politely without acting like a total brat. We will also tell you of our world, experiences, and other stuff if you need help understanding or are curious about us; no secretive bullshit unless we don't feel comfortable sharing it. Thirdly, we will protect you at all cost unless you decide to charge into a dangerous fight like a headless chicken, then we can only protect you from yourself."

"Your proposal sounds reasonable enough for- Wait, what is 'Protecting me from myself' supposed to mean!?" She referred to the last part with an irate scowl.

"It means keeping a cool head and not putting yourself in danger on purpose for your damn pride." I pointed a finger at her. "Believe me, I've seen too many rookies talk the talk and end up dead because they got too cocky out in the field. You bluebloods are one example I've had face to face yesterday with that blond guy and his stupid rose twirling flirty antics."

"Oh, that is Guiche de Gramont 'The Bronze', and I know what you mean by his tendencies." The girl sent a deadpanned look at my direction. "He's a philandering idiot who can't keep a serious relationship. Just don't anger him and you should be good."

_At least that's something both of us can agree on. _

I reached over to rub the back of my neck with the right hand and gave a wry laugh, "The guy thought I was a golem with human features late at night; I'm pretty sure he certifies for it."

And man, I can't wait for him to fuck up soon…

Instead of laughing or showing any signs of amusement, only a bitter smile appeared, "He still thinks I faked the summoning, just like everyone else who looks down on me for not being able to cast magic."

"What, that explosive fireball from yesterday?" came my question. "Are you sure that doesn't count as magic? It seemed pretty magical to me when you casted it."

Her slim hands covered both of her eyes as a sign of frustration as she bowed her head to the floor in a display of shame and frustration.

"A commoner like you would not understand if I were to explain my own failures so simply." She muttered in a humiliated tone.

"Try me." I replied. "I'm very good at listening and we have some more time before everyone else wakes up, if my loudness didn't do the job first."

Louise looks up hesitantly and did not open her mouth for a while other than stare at me. Saito and I said nothing in return, acknowledging her issue to speak out as we waited for her to get comfortable. Looking at an angle, it doesn't look like she is ready to open up at this time but that'll end soon when something arises in the middle of our adventures.

Because everywhere in every world, adventure is what drives everyone to do something instead of staying in one spot for all eternity and rot for nothing.

. . .

. . .

. . .

"If you don't feel like talking about it now, then we can do it another time if you want. Also, do we have a deal?"

She nodded without a word, some of her nervous tension slowly going away, and got up from the bed to the dresser. Picking up her uniform, she turns to us and said in a low voice, "I would like some privacy, please. Wait outside for me."

That was our cue to leave now and let her change in peace while we waited in the hallway. The slightly revealing nightgown she got on made me think of what she might look like as an adult wearing it as we stood around. Kind of pervy, yes, but it's not like I'm into her at the current age she's in. The way she acted boggled my mind for some time during our talk, almost like she's 17 or somewhere near there. I don't know, maybe I'll ask her later about it.

"You know," Saito spoke with a concerning glance as he stood next to me on the opposite side, "I thought you were going to flip out and yell at her for being bossy, but you kind of surprised me when you said we should have a calm argument. Most people would've given up on her if they were in your position."

A lackadaisical wave was thrown at him while I gave a small yawn, "Ehh, it comes with the job. Getting too mad at small matters doesn't let you focus properly on scavenging. Such is life in the Zone."

He shook his head at me with an amused smile, "Again, you mention about this 'Zone' that I do not know of. What is the Zone, anyway?"

"Oh, it's a place where science happened, a large portion of the land got changed for better or worse, and people like us break through the border to get filthy rich; think of it as a hazardous occupation for the greedy or desperate."

"What's it like to be over there?" He asked.

"Harsh, dirty, stressful, and freaky as shit." The list of all the things I've faced came to mind. "The ecosystem there is dangerous, all the mutants are fugly, people are dicks, and having a gun doesn't even come close to being safe."

"That bad, I guess?"

"Oh, and I hardly see any chicks over there." I pointed out. "Which is both good and bad, I suppose."

"Why is that?" Saito wondered.

"Good that they're smart enough to stay away, bad if they get killed or worse. You would know what I mean by that last part." A small shiver ran down my spine.

. . .

"Oh…"

"Yes, _oh_. As in 'Oh shit, sex-depraved men' oh! You follow me?"

"Yes." The blush on his face shows his understanding.

"Good; seeing that we're in a medieval fantasy land, that type of low is probably common in the cities or around elsewhere as well." I cracked my knuckles a bit and noticed a certain redhead with her blouse slightly unbuttoned to allow a pair of partially exposed package to show stepping out of her room with that sexy stroll. Her pet overgrown lizard followed suit from behind and whipped its tail around to close the door.

Hm, yeah, I remember her, that bronze-skinned girl who took part in the summoning ritual and was also mocking pinky alongside everyone else. I'm guessing the way she's showing her hooters is for attention-seeking; definitely attention-seeking, mhm. No shame in her personality.

And she happens to be coming this way, no doubt to check us out. That seductive stare she's putting on says it all. Too bad for her, I'm not desperate for a bang.

"Heads up, Saito," I leaned over to the side and whispered to him, "trouble's coming our way."

"Huh?" He took one good look at the young beauty and his entire face soon went red for a very good reason. "O-o-oh…"

The tall redhead stopped in front of us and flaunted her well-endowed chest when she brushed over her bangs back with flair.

"So, Louise's familiars are on guard duty," She did a quick look over before continuing in that light husky tone that would make any lusty man go full retard, "but where's the rest of you? I wanted to see the handsome blond man that outdid The Bronze by his charming looks."

Oh shit, did she just say Shishak is prettier than that Guiche boy? Damn, I was right!

"He's not here." I told her in a bored, matter-of-fact voice, ignoring her pout. "The merc and him went out before us so I can't tell you where he's at. Is there something you want?"

"Straight to the point, I see." The redhead gave a sly smile masked by false shyness and walked closer to me. "Tell me, what is a man of your exotic class doing with a talentless girl like her?"

My head cocked a little at her comment, "Talentless? She seems to be doing a knack of a job keeping us in line."

That was partly a lie, of course. I just said that in order to get her thinking differently.

"Oh, is that so?" She then eyed the boy next to me, who nearly jumped when she got too close to him. "And what do you think of your master, boy?"

"I-I-I think she's doing a great job, like he said!" Saito stammered nervously, having to see a full view of her breasts. "D-don't you think so, Farmer?"

"Mhm." I gave my neck a slight crack. "Doing a good job at it, Saito."

That unconvinced look on her face said otherwise, "Really? Because I heard some yelling from her room along with your mocking laughter when I woke up from it and saw that it was barely morning. It didn't seem like you were getting along with her at all."

"Oh, you heard that?" I asked. "Well, uhh…" Shit, I can't think of anything else to say. "…you got me there."

"Hohohoho~! I knew it." Her boisterous laugh kind of reminded me of the bandits I tend to run into. "So tell me again, why are you allowing yourselves to be commanded under such a pitiful master when you could be serving me instead?"

"Because a Germanian barbarian like you would just use them for your own pleasure." Out comes a steaming Louise glaring daggers at the busty redhead. "What do you want, Kirche?"

That's her name, huh? Guess I don't need to ask then. Also, isn't that a German word for something?

"Ah, Louise the Zero, we meet again." Kirche greeted off-handedly. "I just wanted to see your familiars, but the other two are missing."

Louise shook her head once with a light frown, "They went off to explore."

Damn it, Louise. Why can't you lie like me? And what's with the title 'Zero' anyway?

"Ha! Leave it to the Zero for not keeping her familiars under reigned!" Kirche toss her head back for another short fanciful guffaw then bent down on her knee to rub the lizard's scaly head. "Isn't that right, Flame?"

I assume the walking fire hazard next to her is called 'Flame', since he's been staring at me funny for the past few minutes. Also, what kind of name is Flame? That sounds too original. Why not use badass names like 'Hotshot' or 'Blaze'? Or Dante? Wait, maybe she doesn't know that one.

"Grah!" The fire lizard growled out in response, its eyes still glued on to me as it trotted slowly forward.

What? Is there something on my face, you giant contradiction for a reptile?

I took a step back from it, but the thing still kept going toward my direction like I'm some interesting object or a tasty snack.

Damn it, why is it getting closer to me!?

. . .

Why is it rubbing its head against my leg!?

"Oh?" She took of the notice of the scene I was getting in and made a teasing smirk. "It seems my Flame has taken a liking for you. What is your name again that Louise mentioned? Farmer, is it?"

"Yes, you heard right." I stated, wary of catching on fire from her pet. "Everyone in my town calls me that."

Now it was Kirche's turn to cock her head at me, "What an odd name. What is the name of your town?"

Shit, I gotta think something quick.

"Kiev," I proclaimed, "largest town far from the kingdoms here; really far away and in the middle of a civil war." Which is technically true even though Kiev is a capital city and I happened to live in a cheap apartment there, much to my displeasure; I was lucky enough to jet out of there before shit got real with the civil war and all that. To be honest, I rather have an independent Ukraine than a Russian-controlled puppet government despite how corrupt our current one is. Better to deal with our own countrymen than the fucking russkies trying to take us over with their lies.

"Never heard of it," You probably shouldn't. It's bad enough as it is right now, "is it somewhere in the Sahara?"

"Yes!" Louise piped up with an impatient leer. "The town is right next to Rub Al Khali. Enough with your questions at my familiars already! I'm hungry as it is."

"Very well then, go take care of your needs even if you can't grow breasts like mine with all the food you stuff yourself." Kirche cooed with the briefest satisfaction before Louise yelled more hateful things at her in response. The result was pretty obvious.

The tall redhead gave us a wink and turned to the stairs with her blue-haired friend patiently waiting for the conversation to end; the lizard followed from behind after giving me another disturbing stare.

"Oh, and try not to make too much racket the next time you decide to go off your medicine, Sir Farmer." She called over her shoulder with much amusement.

What the hell does she mean by that? I wasn't on anything, from what I can remember.

There was a different book in the short girl's hand this time while she walked side-by-side with Kirche and a long wooden staff with a curled top in the other. If this doesn't give you that anime RPG feel, then I don't know what will.

Everything about this place feels wrong and I'm not talking about 13 year olds being married off to greasy fat guys in crowns kind of thing (wouldn't surprise me if they do it like their non-fantastical counterpart). No, the feeling I'm getting is that everything around me is too goddamn peaceful. I understand that we're in a private magical school where shit just pops out of nowhere with no logical explanation, however it is interpreted, but even with little miss pinkie's explosive personality (no pun intended) the atmosphere of easy luxury and bliss just gives me that uncomfortable itch like I want something big to happen; something worth of a challenge that the Zone gives us most of everyday just to get by and earn hard to get loot.

. . .

I want to go back to the Zone. I miss hearing the gunshots, the mutant growls, the background voices whispering…

…it's just not the same here.

Saito nudged my arm with that look of concern in his eyes again and gestured toward Louise strutting toward the same stairs.

"You're doing it again." He said to me. "Come on, Louise wants us to follow her."

"She always wants us to follow her," I casted an empty glance at the girl's back, "even if we're in agreement, bluebloods will be bluebloods."

"Are you sure you're alright?" The slightly worriment in his tone was comforting, but it did not ease my wariness. "You always get quiet most of the time and then act cryptic when you're awake."

My head shook at him as I gave him a small pat on the shoulder, "Just thinking about home, kid. Let's get going. We might meet Shishak and Cutler on the way if we're lucky."

I patted my Compact just to be sure one more time and then we went after the pinkette to whatever place she wanted us to go. I sure as hell don't feel like thinking about it for the time being.

On our way we found the green eyed blond without his usual ski mask on and his hood down, playing with his PDA while leaning against a white marble pillar. Need I remind myself that with all the infatuated looks coming from the passing female students along with A LOT of dirty glares thrown at him from the boys, it did seem like the pretty bandit trumped the two-timing Guiche in looks and unintentional roguish charms. Too bad nobody knows he'll probably steal their purses than their heart. Fucking bandits, I tell you.

As for Cutler, he was still nowhere to be seen. Maybe wandering around the perimeter still to find the best hiding location like any other sensible stalker would do. Speaking of hiding places, I still need to find one in order to stash my valuable loot. Somewhere that no one will bother to look for. An abandoned building or remote forest with a camouflage foxhole might do the job.

Looks like the bastard is too focused with his thing, might as well call him out to get his attention.

"There you are!" Or maybe not. "I was wondering where you have been!"

The shout directed at Shishak from Louise got him to snap his head at our direction. He stuffed the PDA into his coat pocket and waited for us to draw near before he joins in our group of three by walking with me and Saito.

"What did I miss?" He asked us, oblivious to the giggles of schoolgirls directed at him.

Saito noted the increasing popularity and gave a smile, "Farmer made a deal with Louise, so you will have to hear him out."

The bandit turned to me with a look of question, "What is this deal he is talking about?"

"It's a long story," I said, "but you and Cutler will like it; probably."

"Enlighten me, then." He replied and I nodded.

So, I explained to him about our current situation and how Louise is acting like a total brat and all, which he somewhat agreed, if not a bit hesitantly, which followed to my ultimatu- I mean, 'agreement' with her that we'll follow our part of the bargain if she goes along with what we want. And by 'we', I mean by what _I _want, which is still a 'we' since I added all of us. After I finished, he gave it some thought and finally nodded in understanding of my actions.

"That is good to hear, Small Farmer; very good to hear." Shishak allowed a devious smile to form on his face. "That gives me more freedom to steal those artifacts from you!"

"Yeah, sure, over my dead body, bastard!" I huffed back.

"Mwahahahahahaha!"

The kid raised a brow at the now cackling blond man as they reached a pair of giant doors where the noise of platter and boasting can be heard from, "Stealing his artifacts? Is this a joke you are making, Shishak-san?"

Louise rolled her eyes at the small bantering behind her as Shishak stopped his evil laugh and grinned at the boy next to me, "Ah, so you do not know of my profession, boy. I should let you know that I am a b-"

"Bartender." I blurted out, managing to cut him off before he could say 'bandit'. "He's a bartender who heard too many jokes from his customers and likes to pretend he's a thief. Of course he is pulling your leg!"

Shishak blinked at me in confusion, much like Saito's reaction, while I gave a quick shake of my head and flick it to a group of students exiting out of the grand entrance. Some of them gave us weird looks before making their way to whatever destination they have in mind. As we entered through the doorway, I quickly slapped the idiot's arm and leaned closer to him.

"Dumbass!" I harshly whispered. "Do you know what they do to those types of people here?! I thought you're supposed to be smarter than that!"

"I thought it was a job-"

"-That nobody fucking likes when they're about to be hanged for it!" I glanced around to see if anyone was paying attention to us before getting back to him. "This isn't the Zone, Shishak! Think carefully before you open your mouth! These people may be morons with magic, but they are not complete retards to know what a criminal is!"

That instantly made him shut up as we made our way to a long table where Louise waited beside a wooden chair. Following on cue, I pulled it for her then pushed it back in slightly after she sat down.

"Thank you, familiar." She replied gratefully, if not absent minded.

"It's Farmer, but close enough." I glance around for any signs of the dark-cladded mercenary, but still couldn't find him in here. Just where the hell is he?

Another good question is where the hell am I at this point?

Saving Shishak's hide left a bad taste in my mouth, but I'm not one to squander a good favor from a bandit leader by letting the law do its job by persecuting him. He could be useful in the future and he did say he always keep his words. I'll believe him when I see his actions in person.

And why did I call these people morons? Sure, they're not advance like us but it's not like they live in the dung ages. Maybe some part of Louise rubbed off on me or I've been spending time in the Zone under constant threat that I feel the need to justify it out of paranoia.

Or maybe I'm just an asshole depending on the current environment I'm in. A reactive jerk, that'll work.

. . .

GodIwanttogobacktotheZonesobadly.

"So," I started off, giving a low hum at the decorative interior surrounding us while we stood near the girl, "this is the dining hall, huh? It looks very nice from this angle we're at. The floors are glistening and the design just screams 'fabulous' here." Personally, it seems too nice for me to look at. Just being in here with a bunch of egotistical young teens makes me want to shoot up the place. A little explosion here, some bullets there; a badass makeover to fit the feel of a modern day Zone just waiting to be filled with stalkers.

I could tell pinky was beaming at my shot-over-the-head sarcasm as she spoke proudly, "The Alviss dining hall is certainly the grand jewel of our nobility. Consider yourself lucky that few, beside the serving staff, can even step foot upon this luxurious floor."

"I'll consider myself lucky when I get a kick-ass gun and a score of artifacts." I quipped and was about to pull an empty chair of my own until the pinkette stopped me in my track. "Now what?"

"Commoners aren't allowed to sit at the tables or take food reserved only for nobles." she explained. "You will have to find your own."

"Wow, really?" I took notice of most of the students around us casting contemptuous glares at us three like we didn't belong here. Some were nervous glances because of my mask while the rest didn't pay any sort of attention or just ignored us all the same.

Yeah, that's right, fear me! FEAR ME!

I gave an exasperated sigh and opted for the floor instead while setting the backpack by my side. Unzipping it, I took out two cans of Tourist Breakfast, three loaves of bread in a bag, two bottled water and a tall can of STALKER energy drink for me before passing out the loaves and water bottles to Saito and Shishak as they sat down with me in a small circle. I took out my trusty Swiss army knife that I had cleaned from yesterday night after stumbling upon that cute maid, finding a water source to clean the blade, and cut a slit on the side of the small bread then gave the knife to the kid as he followed my example. The knife was then passed to the bandit, who did the same, before picking up one of the Tourist Delights and jamming the blade down to open it.

"That thing has a can opener, you know." I informed him right when he was done opening the first can.

"Oh." Shishak placed the tin container down and fiddled with the Swiss army knife until he found it. "Too late now, let us stick with one thing and enjoy this breakfast."

"Let's." I said in mild agreement. "It's not fine cuisine but it will have to do."

Saito peered at the contents and saw one can filled with a paste like beef of sorts while the other that Shishak just opened held white meat that was either chicken or fish.

"What is this stuff?" He asked, watching the skinny blond scooping his fill in.

Overhearing the conversation behind her, Louise turned around for a second to see what they were doing and saw an odd feast to behold.

"Mystery Meat and Tuna Salad, take your pick." My hand reached around the back of my head to unfasten the gas mask and then clipped it to my belt, showing only my mouth again. "Don't worry, they're not expired yet. I think…"

Saito looked skeptical at the canned goods for a brief moment, but shrugged at the potentially harmful morsel when his stomach growled in protest and took the knife from Shishak with a quiet "thanks". He scooped what appears to be tuna to him, spreading the contents in a tight pattern then gave back the Swiss army knife to me and took a bite from his sandwich.

"Hmm! Not bad at all."

"Delicious." The bandit added after scarfing down a large bitten chunk.

"Tell me about it," I emptied out the leftovers and shoveled them into my bread, wiping the blade clean with my tongue, and dug in like a starving animal. In the background, I heard a few disgusted murmurs of "filthy savage" and "rude commoner" nearby, but I could care less about their opinion. Besides, I'm bored and making fun of pinky gets old pretty quickly. Pissing off the people here would satisfy me, if I don't get fireball'd or turned into a newt in the next few seconds by an overzealous mage.

Crumbs were littered all over the clean floors as I took another huge bite out of my simple-combo meal that brought an interesting mixed taste to my buds. The two in front of me made sure not to make a huge mess, with Saito frowning slightly at mine.

"The maids will have to clean that up soon, so wouldn't it be more polite to create less hassle for them?"

"I don't carry plates with me, but I see what you mean." In a small form of realization, my free hand gathered the bits of bread to form it into a small pile and transferred many pinches of them to my front pocket on the tactical vest.

"I like to feed the birds." came my quick interjection between bites, quieting their obvious question at my strange behavior. Half of it was true; the other half was catching my own mutant raven back in the Zone as a pet. Nothing like Noah's four legged terror, fortunately.

Shishak finished his meal and uncapped the water bottle to take a short gulp while the kid took a couple sips from his to make swallowing easier because of how doughy the bread was. I open my canned drink and chug down the flavor of cherry induced caffeine into my system before letting a satisfied gasp of energy. Good stuff, I tell you, but make me crash like shit if I don't take it easy.

"You know," I pointed at the empty spot that formed the middle, "all we need now is a campfire and everything will be just like home. Only thing missing are the mutants and music."

I still have the harmonica on me, but I'd rather practice using it when I have the spare time.

Speaking of which, when does that girl's class start anyway? I want to explore this place if familiars aren't allowed in classrooms.

Finishing my rather tasty meal, I turn my head around to see Louise and the rest of students getting up from their seats just in time for me to know that it was probably close to their next course of schedule right now.

"Come along, familiars," Louise still used that commanding tone from last time as she walks toward the exit, "it is time for us to leave. Follow your master, _please_." The last word sounded a bit forced, but it was an improvement that left me with a good feeling showing my talk with her was catching on.

"Gotcha." I cleaned up the mess by taking out a paper bag from the pack and collected the emptied food cans and lids in them. I figured saving the metals for something like an improvised container would do me some good if I ever needed to store small stuff; have to clean them out first, though.

Shishak got up, along with Saito, with half-emptied bottles in their hand and followed her wordlessly while I grabbed my bag and trailed behind with the rest of students making their leave.

I wonder what sort of class we might be heading into for today.

* * *

><p>The double door entrance to the headmaster's office suddenly burst open, revealing a frantic Colbert clinging onto a musty book in one hand as he was about to spread his new founded discovery to the person in charge of the academy.<p>

"Excuse me, Old Osmond! I require your-" The balding professor stopped in mid-sentence when he saw the most out-of-place scene that left him nearly speechless.

"Ahh-ah… erm…"

In front of him, lies the crumpled headmaster having a face-first meeting with the floor while his secretary is seen pressing her foot against one of Osmond's hips. Standing there on the side watching was one of the student's familiars that he recognized immediately right after he barged inside the room with his news in mind.

"Is this a bad time…?" Colbert felt a drop of sweat sliding down his cheekbone at the bizarre sight as he pointed to the door. "…I can always come back after-"

"No, not at all!" The woman with the vibrant green hair and narrow spectacles exclaimed in a cheerful manner, stepping off the wizened sage. "Old Osmond said his hips were starting to hurt, so he asked me to give him a massage! Managing his health is also part of my job, you know."

A small cough that almost sounded satirical was heard from the other man standing at attention. Colbert could not help but noticed that it held a strict military formality in his stance while the person-of-interest kept his steel gaze on them, taking care to glance around the room once in a while.

"Err… I see…" Came his flustered reply, turning his eyes away from the motionless familiar. "Well, I guess that make sense."

"Of course it does!" The headmaster jumped back to his feet while the secretary returned to her post, showing no signs of early pain as he walked to his desk and sat in the comfy chair before signaling him to speak. "Now, what is it?"

"Oh, yes, right. I might have found something that would greatly interest you." Professor Colbert laid the opened tome on the desk and flipped through the pages until he stopped at a specific spot that he wanted him to see. "Right here, where the drawing is shown on this section."

Old Osmond picked up the small book and gave a brief look over while raising a bushy brow at the content before setting it down, "Hmmmm… This is the Familiars of the Founder Brimir, is it not? I see you're still nosing around old literatures like these."

"Err… That and you should see this." The professor handed him a few sheets of notes that held some legible scribbling along with finely detailed sketches of each left hand showing the same symbols on the book.

"These runes are unfamiliar to me," The headmaster said, doing a double-take by comparing each hand drawn portraits on the note with the one on the book, "unless…"

"…They are the exact runes that have appeared just recently after the summoning rite was complete." Colbert muttered musingly.

This made Old Osmond pause for a few seconds as he casted a glance at the evidence lying on the desk, before sharply veering his eyes to the busy secretary organizing the paperwork.

"I'm sorry, Miss. Longueville, but could you excuse us for a moment while we have a moment of privacy with Mr… uhhh…?"

"It's Colbert!" He deadpanned.

"Right, Mr. Colbert."

The secretary known by her called name gave a short nod and got up to leave the room, but not before shifting her eyes to catch a quick glimpse at the strange familiar then left through the door.

"That goes for you, as well, Sir…"

"Cutler will do just fine." The quiet man followed the secretary out the same way and closed the door behind him.

"What a very strange fellow he is…" The headmaster strokes his beard mystically after he was sure there were no unwanted ears in the room. Colbert casted a Tranquility spell to make sure their conversation was muted before turning to the old man. "…almost reminds me of someone. Hmph, it's probably nothing. So, what can you tell me about these runes, Colbert?"

Outside the office, Miss. Longueville stood close to the entrance trying to listen on any details that may have slipped, but sighed in defeat when she realized a spell of Tranquility had been casted to keep anyone from eavesdropping.

She could cast a small counteractive to bypass it, but that would expose her intentions in front of the oddly dressed soldier, if that is his profession, waiting on the opposite side of the wall with hands behind his back.

This man, Cutler, seems to hold a form of discipline judging from the way he kept staring at the empty spot next to her. He wore a tight fitting hood that looks to be wrapped around from the head to the neck, leaving only his stoic face to show. She could not help but notice how rigid his expression was, taking care not to show any signs that he was being watched by her.

Despite how attractive he looked from his face only, there is something about this person that kept the secretary from fully looking at him. The coldness he gave off sent a subtle chill running down Longueville's spine, as if he was studying her in return and is contemplating something she would not want to know. It didn't help her nerves much when she saw how tense Cutler's body is, as if he was ready for action at any time.

As if he was ready to kill.

This man… she could not tell exactly, but there is something clearly off about him that made her want to get as far away from him as possible if something were to happen.

The woman could only hope she was faster than him before he could reach her.

* * *

><p>"…And, of course, it has to involve magic in the curriculum." Farmer stated the obvious to no one but himself, earning the man a few odd stares from where he was seated at. "Gee, I wonder what we'll be learning today."<p>

A faint irritated groan escaped from an equally irritated Louise seated right next to him, with Saito on her left and Shishak idling at the back of the large room after some of the students complained about the burnt smell from his clothes. Being himself, his attention toward the insults was less important than staring quietly at his PDA.

"I think having him sit next to you was a bad idea in the first place." Saito remarked with a witty smirk.

"That is to remedy your perverted behavior from his disgusting joke when I caught you peeking up skirts like a dog!" She bit back with much needed steel. "Now be silent, class is about to start."

Before the stalker could add in his comment by stating how it was her fault for starting it, a short middle aged woman with brown hair in a stereotypical black and purple magician robe outfit, completed with a pointed hat, strode into the auditorium from another door near the platform to address her presence in front of the students.

"Good morning, students. I am Professor Chevreuse, recently acquainted in the Tristain Academy of Magic, and today we shall learn about the five aspects of the elements." The teacher announced in a portly manner, catching their full attention to her.

"_Hoo-ray_." The stalker muttered, earning him a quick "Shush" from the nearly crossed pinkette.

Saito could only shake his head at the act of immaturity his adult friend was displaying. _This ought to be good._

During this time the professor explained the concept of the elemental magic, going over each of them with great lengths, especially addressing the importance of the earth elements and how it was used as a main building block of what their large society is today.

At some point, it was interesting to listen as she went on about the use of each element and their functions, but it soon became very dull to hear in a short time, not barring the mentioning of the lost element known as 'Void'.

Saito felt like he could not get anything important out of this class to the moment where he was about to fall asleep, seeing that Farmer wasn't faring any better due to the fact that he was staring off dumbly at an empty space with a slacked jaw hanging out.

One wonders what he was thinking of this class besides resisting the urge to loudly point out how boring it was for him to stay here and do nothing instead of doing his own thing.

_I wish had my laptop with me right now_, Saito thought pleasantly, _it would've helped me pass the time without guessing it._ _Too bad it's still broken even if I managed to bring it with me to this strange new world._

It wasn't until then, that things got a little more interesting for both of them when Professor Chevreuse laid out a row of three white rocks on the wooden desk and begin her demonstration on something called 'Transmutation'.

"Now, pay very close attention to what I am about to do." She gently raised her wand in the air over them. "Please observe closely, for I will cast a transmutation spell on this rock on this desk!"

A small chant later, the three rocks were soon bathed in a short glow of white light before changing into a different texture of a glistening color that resembled soft metal. Some of the students went off in hushed voices at the spectacular sight while Farmer perked up from his seat, staring intensely at the transformed rocks. Behind the rest of them, even Shishak took his eyes off the small screen to see what was going on and gaped in stupor at what he just saw.

"_Amazing!_"

"Fascinating!"

"_Holy shit_, is that…?"

"Is… is that real gold!?" Kirche exclaimed in an excited tone a couple desks above Farmer.

Almost everyone was ecstatic at the sight of precious metal before Chevreuse finally calmed them down by pointing out that, "It's actually brass, which is an alloy of iron and zinc."

Immediately, the tall redhead sat down with disappointment all over her face while the rest went quiet and continued to listen to the given lecture.

Saito took a small glance at the light blue/white-cladded stalker and noticed that he was still paying close attention at the finished demonstration with a serious frown on the lower half of his face. Not an hour ago, the man made it clear in his posture that staying in this class was a complete waste of time until he saw the transmutation in progress. Now his body was upright and rigid as if this long lesson mattered to him to begin with.

The way he sat there sharply made the boy think that he was on to something, adding a resource to a plan unknown to Saito. It looked like he saw something that none of them thought about and was going to take full advantage of it in the near future, but what is he actually thinking about that made him so tense?

"Enjoying the show?" Louise quipped dryly. "First you don't want to be here, and now you're awfully interested in a simple transmutation spell."

A small wave was sent her way, "Shush, I'm learning right now."

Normally, this brash disrespect would've greatly upset a noble like her, but what surprised Saito was that she took in stride and sent a narrowed glance at the unknown stalker before switching her attention to the lecture. For a loud aristocrat of a cute girl, she sure is getting used to his weird antics, if not slowly.

"So, found anything good yet, Farmer?" He asked.

All he received was a unison "Shh!" for his troubles.

"Now, I would like someone else to demonstrate the spell for us." Professor Chevreuse panned around the audience and called out a name, "Miss Valliere? Please cease small talks with your interesting familiars and transmute this rock I have in front of me."

This managed to rile up all of the students into sheer panic the moment they heard those words were directed at the pinkette as she got up and went to the short podium. Some ducked under the desks while others tried to get as far away from her by joining Shishak, even if the smell was intolerable. The blue haired mage with the book walked out of the room without a word and some followed her example to wait out what ever unforeseen consequences that Saito and the two stalkers had no idea what was coming.

"Oh Brimir, not again!"

"Please don't make her do it!" Someone cried out.

"Uh-hum…" Farmer took a brief look around the room and noted the apprehensive expressions lingering on their faces. "Hmmmm…. Yeah, I don't know what the hell is going on. Can someone fill me in on the current situation here?"

"Beside the fact that you should be hiding somewhere safe right now?" Kirche stated flatly underneath her table. "See for yourself."

"Duly noted." He obliged without any argument and got under the wooden cover. "Kid, I suggest you do the same like everyone else if things are getting serious."

Saito took a quick look at the diligent, if not slightly miffed, Louise and the confused professor before making his decision to follow along with the advice given to him.

Back on the stage, Louise held her wand out in a ready position and started to recite the spell in a different set of words that made no sense. She then waves the magical instrument over the large ball of rock, finishing the chant by announcing the word "Earth!" in a dramatic fashion that cause it to glow the same pure white from the last show. It held on for a couple seconds before releasing an absurd amount of energy from within into a high external force that left the entire room in a mess of flipped down furniture and black soot.

In short, a bigger explosion.

* * *

><p>"So…. You make things explode." The last bit of soot was finally cleaned off my armor, again.<p>

It was the middle of lunchtime after the abrupt end of class when our 'master' caused an explosion that almost rivaled the pressure of a C4 in a contained room, leaving us to toil for a couple hours of putting back flipped desks and scrubbing the floors. Earlier, when the stout version of McGonagall woke up from her mild (?) concussive unconsciousness, she made Louise stay back to clean up the mess while the rest of the students went to eat.

This led to Louise unconsciously ordering US clean up her mess to being with. Naturally, I got pissed at her for forgetting our deal when the professor left out of earshot range and clearly reminded her that it is our choice to decide whether or not we will oblige. Not wanting to miss her luncheon, she asked us in the most respecting tone to assist her in tidying the room up. After much teasing from me, all of us agreed and quickly went to work as I have other plans to use my free time.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Pinky quickly snapped at me in an attempt to oust any questions that I wanted to ask. But, being me, it did not deter my curiosity to prod further. "Now let me eat my lunch in peace!"

"C'mon," I tried again, "what's your secret? I want to blow shit up with my mind too."

"There is no secret!" She seethed, turning around with a nasty glare.

I was not convinced by her angry outburst one bit. It's likely that she is hiding something from us and isn't too keen on sharing it because of reasons varying from embarrassment to unintentional exposure of her badass powers that might be.

"Please?" I begged in the most obnoxious tone I could muster. "Pretty please?"

"NO." Bah. You always have to suck the fun out of everything, girly.

Both of my hands were thrown up in the air out of minor frustration, "Oh, fine. You win this time, but mark my words! I WILL learn your psychic powers sooner or later."

Louise managed an annoyed shake from her head and went back to eating, "Whatever that is. It's not what you think I have."

What the hell is that supposed to mean? All I want is some brainpower to even the playing field with those fucking Burers and Controllers. Meh, screw it. If she doesn't want to teach me the ways of explosions, then I'll just have to find another method to get it.

Now, how do I make grenades?

Having to be bored as usual from the lack of excitement around me, I got up to do some wandering around while leaving behind the bandit and the boy to their own device. Well, just the bandit since Saito wanted to tag along for the same reason. I didn't want to stick around in this stainless mess hall made for the rich kids. All they do is talk and gossip about glorified bravados and how they planned to be successful in the future by owning countless businesses to rake in the profits.

Sounds extremely boring, if you asked me about my opinion; these kids have no hard work and imagination in their background. Sure, they'll get what they want but it will just be them sucking money from mommy and daddy's large bank account if that's their plan for success. And worse of all, they won't even have to lift a finger since magic is their equivalent of the easy button. In my days inside the Zone I have to loot, deal, and somewhat unintentionally kill the right people for an artifact or a shiny hardware to get by.

I won't even spare my pity to any of them if they squander it all at a later time. If they fail, then they can either pick themselves up or expect jack shit from their clique. Nobody here, much like where I come from, would help someone in need out of selfless kindness. Society only cares for the resources they bring, not the value of individually they hold. No matter how famous they are or the status they hold, reality will always get them.

And that's coming from a man who lives a shitty life in a shitty apartment. That will change soon enough once I save up a motherlode of artifacts and live a life the way I want to it to be. But first, I have to figure out how to make my living here and find a way off this alternate rock.

Right in front of our sights the perky black-haired, blue eyed maid that strangely shares a similar skin tone like Saito from yesterday was busily catering to the snob-nosed aristobrats with her humble front as she went by the rows of tables to deliver their food.

Man, I should be saving my supplies and eat their fancy stuff here but the whole commoner restriction bullshit is really wearing me down. Compared to the amount of food those mage's familiar get, I'm starting to wonder if the non-magic people ever get a decent scrap to sustain themselves at all.

Now, what is that girl's name again?

Salsa? Sally? Sopa?

Urgh, I can never get those Spanish names right!

Saito called out and sent a wave at the cute servant girl, this time, punching my arm lightly to make sure I was awake to greet her properly when we stopped a few feet away, "Hey Siesta, long time no see! It's good to see you again!"

Oh, so that's her name.

"Hello Siesta." I waved as well, albeit awkwardly. "Glad to see another friendly face around here once in a while."

"Oh, you remember my name?" Uh, duh, yes… well, the boy remembers it. "A-ah, yes, it is good to see the both of you, too!" She then waves back to us after placing the last dish on the table.

We met up closer and away from the busy crowds to chat more of our day and such, with Saito bringing up about yesterday when we first met her.

"I would like to thank you again for helping us with the laundry from last night, Siesta." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and I saw the faint signs of red slowly forming again. "I didn't have a clue on where to begin, honestly."

"O-o-oh, it's alright. I'm glad to help out, Saito." Siesta managed a meek answer.

I'm guessing she's not used to having complete strangers complimenting her. Seeing that kind of thing before in the Zone, it was not surprising or hard to know if I was talking to a woman stalker in disguise. Of course, some of the stalkers I have met in the past were actually men with few feminine traits, thus mistaking them for chicks.

Then again, I've always thought Shishak was someone with ratty features, not a girly face that could get the most attention from any passing female within his boundary. I guess life can surprise you on some days.

I gave the maid a short nod of gratitude, despite knowing how to wash clothes in the first place, but nonetheless nodded anyway. "Yes, your assistance was deeply appreciated. I, too, had some trouble with the way of the clothes washing." Okay, that sounded too stiff and unrealistic for a white lie; I might as well ask her to teach me Kung Fu lessons while we're at it.

Luckily for me, she didn't catch on and gave a slight head tilt at my weird answer, "Forgive my impertinence, but are you feeling well, Sir Farmer? You seem to be a bit… off."

Believe me, young lady; 'off' wouldn't come close to being the correct word that I have in mind if you knew where I was at before arriving here. Along with that, I wish you stop calling me 'sir' every time; I feel old whenever she address me with it.

"Yeah," the boy joined in, "you were acting all weird after we met her, and that's excluding the times you did them on purpose."

"What are you talking about?" I prompted.

"You know… like when you took a white sheet off the clothesline and pretended to be a ghost while complaining about not throwing things with your mind?"

I shook at my head, "I don't remember doing that."

"Or when you thought someone was watching us and you kept muttering about 'Bloodsuckers everywhere'?" Siesta added.

"Nope."

"Or when we got outside to the courtyard and you started screaming at the top of your lungs about praising 'the Zone' among other things?" Saito almost made a cheeky face, but restrained himself from letting a snicker out at my cluelessness.

. . .

. . .

"Are you sure I did _all_ of that yesterday?" I frowned lightly.

"Yes!" They said in unison.

Huh…

I don't exactly recall doing any of those from last night. I wasn't drinking anything or got high from weed.

So, what did I do anyway?

* * *

><p><em>What actually happened prior to last night… <em>

"COME ON!" The partially deranged stalker shouted hoarsely on his knees and raised both of his arms to the air. "**COME ON!** WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE EMISSIONS?! WHY IS EVERYTHING SO GODDAMN QUIET HERE!?"

"U—uhhh, you're making too much noise, Sir Farmer!" The young maid tried to calm him down in a hush, frantic tone without much success. "Please, refrain yourself or you will wake everyone up!"

Farmer paid no mind to her warning and continued to shout at the empty sky, oblivious to the other noise of complaints coming out of the dormitory towers around him.

"I JUST WANT SOMETHING TO TRY AND KILL ME! **PLEASE!** JUST THIS ONCE!"

"If he doesn't keep it quiet, someone will definitely come out to kill us." Saito muttered, attempting to snap his delusional friend from his stupor. "Farmer, dude, you're not making any sense! Just calm down and we'll try to help you the best we can."

He heard the man sniff loudly and saw his shoulders slumped as Farmer look down in hopelessness, "It's just not the same here!"

"What is not the same here?" Siesta asked him in a comforting voice.

"This," his right arm swept at the area in front of him, "is nothing like the Zone. How am I going to get artifacts without the anomalies!? Why is it so peaceful here?!" Farmer broke down into heavy sobs from the lack action. "W-w-w-w-wh-h-here are t-the assholes shooting at me!?"

The boy gave a large sigh and shook his head in pity, "I guess he really misses his home."

"Are there more people like him?" The maid asked. "I've never seen treasure hunters dressed in weird armor much like his."

"It's a very long story." he pinched between the chambers of his nose. "Even I don't know a lot about him or the other two that came along. He's not really open about the topic of his life."

"I see…" she mused, ignoring the constant sobbing in the background. "…where he come from must be very important to him."

Saito gave a brief shrug, "No doubt about it. He did mention that his town depended on technology. Other than that, all I know is that he doesn't like magic and titles don't mean anything to him."

"Is that so?" Siesta pondered. "The head chef would most likely get along with Sir Farmer with their similar dislikes for mages."

A long agonizing moan erupted from the half-crazed man before ending it with an outburst of, "**PRAISE THE ZONE!**"

Both of them backed away slowly from him as he gasped for air, continuing his mad rant about artifacts and a bucket of fried drumsticks, not wanting to risk themselves out of growing fear if he decided to go violent at any time.

"What is this 'Zone' he keeps mentioning about?" The trembling maid whispered closely to Saito.

He shook his head once more and sighed heavily, "I have no clue. You might have to ask those other people that came with him. Asking him is probably… bad for your health."

"**CHEEKI BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!**" Farmer howled at the twin moons and then fell flatly to the ground seconds later, snoring away in blissful loudness for anyone nearby to hear.

. . .

"Zzzzz… Zzzzz... Hrrrk! Zzzzz…."

"We should get him out of here before someone decides to investigate."

She nodded to the young man, "I couldn't agree more."

* * *

><p><em>Currently…<em>

"Are you sure you haven't been going through my stash, kid?" I inspected his eyes for the usual signs of throbbing veins from a short distance, but saw nothing out of the usual. "Because the stuff I usually smoke is frickin' potent and I haven't had a blunt from yesterday."

Saito solemnly shook his head with an annoyed look, "I was with you and Siesta the _whole_ time. Plus, I would never do drugs, ever."

"Alright, I'm just making sure." I gave him a small pat on the shoulder in reassurance. "You're a smart boy, so I know you wouldn't do anything like that."

"Coming from a pothead, I'm not deeply surprised." He smirked.

Oh snap, son!

"Wow, really; that kind of burn coming from you, huh?" I retorted in false grimace.

He nodded with the same smugness plastered all over his face, "Yes, really."

Fine, two can play at this game.

"You know, I didn't think you were into maid outfits." My right hand rubbed the back of my head while keeping a cool tone. "Until I saw that redness in your face."

Judging from that sudden look of agitation on him, he knew where I was heading to.

"I-I don't know what you mean by that." He tried to keep his innocent façade from breaking down, with Siesta standing by confused. "You must be seeing things right before that incident."

The same hand was then placed under my chin as I went into a thinking pose, "Hmm, I don't know, your eyes was a bit lower when we first met her. Don't tell me you were actually checking her out, were you?"

"I-I-I-I-I…" Hah, got you now. "…W-wait, I couldn't see your eyes! How do I know _you_ weren't checking her out?!" Shit.

"U-uh…" The maid felt a tad bit uncomfortable being in the middle of our inside joke. "…What are you two talking about?"

"Oh nothing, besides the fact that Saito is as slow as a turtle!" I rapidly countered with much needed ham. Needless to say, this did not bode well with him.

"Who are you calling slow!? At least I'm not dressed up like one!" The boy bit back with eyes flared.

"Oh, please! I have to drop hints in order for you to get the jokes I tell!" Came my swift reply. "I might as well tell you the entire thing just to make it easy for me."

Saito gritted his teeth slightly and shot back with, "At least I'm not a crazed gunman like you!"

"Oh, oh! You did NOT just go there!" Now it's serious business. "One is a job and the other is mental sickness!"

"Yeah, tell that to the others when you're done with your daily spazzing in front of them." He snorted.

Ouch, burn!

"Well, if you're so goddamn brilliant, then how come you don't own a humongous mecha, huh!?" Yes, that was deliberate. Sue me.

And boy, was his face torn between getting pissed at my racist comeback or laughing at it.

"You know what; you are a retarded Koopa Troopa!"

"And your blond, spikey haired idol is an emo faggot!"

"Hey!" Someone at the tables complained. "We're trying to eat here! Go take your argument elsewhere, insolent fools!"

"**SHUT UP, FATTY!** **NO ONE LIKES YOU!**" I roared back, pointing at the now (angrily?) trembling pudgy short kid with the single curled blond hair. "DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!"

Before things manage to escalate further, Siesta cut in between us with a look of worriment and was nearly in tears in wanting us to stop, "Please! Let us not bicker at each other so pointlessly! Can we not all get along?" And not piss off the nobles anymore, stopping my fun?

If it weren't for the display of cuteness in her pleading voice, I would've ignored her entirely just for the sake of prolonging the argument out of the lack of entertainment. Plus, arguing helps improve your persuasive skills and vocabulary so you can make a better point in other future bitchfests. Ain't life grand?

"Okay, okay!" I held my hands up to her in show of cooperation and to make her not cry. "We're stopping, see?" God, I'm so weak against helpless women. Shooting douchebags in the face is easier without feeling guilty than making a cutie like her cry her eyes out. Sad feelings can make a hardened person like me go all mushy at the sight of feminine distress.

Shishak doesn't count, though. He's just a pretty boy. Coupled with his semi-professional banditry, I wouldn't feel a smidgen of remorse in killing him even if he turned into a woman.

. . .

Then again, I'm not completely innocent of any wrong doing either if I could count the times that I've ambushed military patrols for their guns, ammo, and other goodies. Technically, they were ordered to shoot all illegal stalkers on sight in the past so I had no problem taking the fight to them with a silenced Viper 5 and a bandolier of grenades to boot.

Almost got my ass killed one time when I had a sudden crazy notion to raid the military checkpoint base alone, but it paid off with nearly all my ammunition expended and a couple bullet lodged in my right calf and left arm. A quick limp to the village afterwards along with a few days of recovery and I was fresh for another stalk; can't say much for those dead bastards littered all over the small guard post after I looted their corpses.

Wanting to be a gentleman as well, Saito also caved in to her request compliantly with a shaky grin, "Ah, sorry, sorry! It won't happen again!"

Seeing that we weren't going to cause another upstart at each other, she instantly switched back into her chirpy self once more, "We should not disturb the nobles any further while they dine."

Too late, I'm getting a lot of disgruntled looks from the blue bloods. Something tells me I need to pull an excuse out of my ass to avoid a highly possible conflict that involves getting incinerated or worse.

"Hey, uh, Siesta, we kind of owe you for helping us out last night, so why don't we return the favor and give you a hand with whatever you need to do in return?" Good bait, now she won't be able to say no to us because it's the truth. Half a truth, but who gives a shit?

"Oh no, that won't be necessary!" She protested.

Yeah, no.

"Nononono, I insist." I replied hastily, eyeballing the room filled with livid magical teenagers, excluding Louise who was trying to make herself less noticeable, ready to set their wands upon us. "Seriously, we owe you one. Just take it, you won't regret a thing."

Even though the kid wasn't fast enough to catch on the hostile environment, he went along with me thinking that I was trying to be nice, "I agree with him on this one."

The humble maid gave it some thought when she looked at us and beamed a heartfelt smile before giving a nod. "Well, we are about to deliver the dessert course, so it wouldn't hurt us if you would kindly assist me in passing them out."

Hook, line, and sinker.

"Then we're all in agreement." I exclaimed. "Let's get to it!"

Siesta motioned us to follow her to the kitchen, to which I gladly complied without any complaints with Saito in tow. When we got to the entrance she told us to wait while she brings out the dessert cart for me to push around, leaving her and Saito to handle the distribution of the cream puffs and other assorted cakes. Although I wanted to try a sample, the words of warning from Louise came to mind and I had to curb the urge to snatch a pastry in case no one was looking. Spitting on them almost came through, but I didn't want to see good food wasted if I get caught.

I hope they choke on it, those lazy brats.

"You seem crossed, Sir Farmer." She noted my deep frown as we went on the first round.

"Doesn't seem like anyone is taking our work with much consideration," I sniffed, "makes you wonder if they even appreciate the high-class service, instead of expecting it. Also, just call me Farmer. The added 'sir' at the beginning makes me feel old."

"My apologies, Farmer."

"You don't need to apologize. I just think it's unnecessary to address me with the respect that I haven't properly earned yet." I mentioned to her, shuffling along the aisles.

"Why do you say that?" Saito piped up.

I shook my head, "Best for me not to explain it around this crowd, you know what I mean?" Besides, I already got them riled up too much.

Both of them said nothing, understanding what I meant by the miffed/nervous young mages around us.

We still went through each table, handling the cream puffs in silence aside from the maid's routine formal greetings as she gave the ordering students their dessert with a pair of small metal tongs.

. . .

. . .

. . .

I never looked at myself as the sentimental type, but I guess the life as a stalker can change you through countless hardships and the need to survive when you have to deal violence with greater violence. No one said being a stalker would be easy on the long run. If any of the kids here were in my shoes, they might as well kiss their wands goodbye when mutants or bandits come to greet them.

. . .

Although, I'm not one to shy away from any advantages with the hocus pocus just as long it does not make me entirely lazy. Maybe an underground base or a tree house if it requires that much labor.

Or maybe I can build myself a hut in the neck of the woods with an underground system for crafting needs and storage. Guerillas have done it before, and I heard about some Diggers in Garbage making a hidey-hole base out of the junk piles. Someone with creativity like me should be able to figure it out.

Only problem for me is to find the one earth mage that is not a total dickwad and charge high prices for use of their excavation services, if the rain doesn't hamper the progress by softening the dirt or causing the nearly complete bunker to collapse. Other alternative is to get a shovel and just stick with digging holes for hiding stashes. The simple choice would be going with scattered stashes than building a base where the risk of discovery is high and all my good shit is taken.

Yeah, I'll just stick with the good ol' fashioned stashes and make a map so that I don't forget. It's less hassle and easier to deal with. Just have to find a way to preserve it so nature doesn't muck it up.

The smooth rattling from the small wheels continues to squeak with little noise, clatters of food utensils still clicked against the ceramic plates used by the students of various ages. My hand held a vice grip on the handle as my movement stayed steady, but not too relaxed. The leers I've been getting have loosened up after a few minutes had passed, and still I could not shake the uneasiness out of my head.

Has my stay in the Zone gotten me addicted to its vastly dangerous, but mysteriously beautiful environment that my only stability is to live within it? I don't think so. It's only been two years of exploration and hiding and I still want to go back to the big lands rich. Or perhaps, it's this land itself that is driving me wary and twitchy?

Or maybe I just need a blunt. Spending time in the Zone tweaked my personality with a few hostile tendencies added, but I'm still me. The lack of stress is probably why I feel bored out of my skull because there is no action going around that forces me in every time. I am tense because there is nothing to be tensed about and the lack of tenseness is what makes an experienced stalker like me afraid since there is no one to shoot back at to justify my reason.

The front view of Siesta's covered rear as she bent down to pick up a small glass vial didn't even spark any arousal that I should be feeling right now. Though, I have to admit, having tinted combat goggles attached to the helmet does give a nice perk when you're staring at a young woman's behind. Doesn't help that Saito pointed it out earlier ago, that smartass.

Speaking of behind, who are these people at the round table?

"You have no idea how a handsome noble such as I can be so fortunate in having immaculate looks that will make fair maidens swoon over me." Oh fuck, not this guy again…

"Hah! You're still playing that game, Guiche? Aren't you supposed to be with your fiancée?" One of his friends chuckled at him. "You know how angry she will get if she finds out that you're flirting with a first year."

"Why, I have no idea what you gentlemen are speaking of." Guiche stood on his chair with dramatic pose filled with romantic passion, holding his rose wand up in the air. "It is not me who is at fault for being so grossly incandescent toward the flowing petals of beauty."

What a load of shit.

"I'm starting to get that bad vibe from him already." Saito murmured next to me.

Already ahead of you, buddy.

"Excuse me," Siesta offered the vial to the boasting blond before he could let another passionate speech that makes me want to shoot him, "I believe you've dropped this on the floor, young master."

"Nonsense," The mage spoke out in gusto without a glance, much to the cringing in my head, "it clearly does not belong to me!"

"But I saw it fell out of your pocket, sir." She said.

The slightest twitch coming from him as he jumped down told me that Guiche was clearly lying and is trying to deny the evidence that would further incriminate him, if not for one of his buddies pointing out something that got him busted right away.

"Hey, Guiche, isn't that the perfume made by Montmorency?" Fatty the curly blond questioned him, trying his best to ignore me.

"Yeah, I saw you handing them out to that first year girl. Only Montmorency gives away her concocted perfume to people she's close to." Heh, he's in for it now.

"I told you already, it's not mi-"

"Guiche, what is going on?" The same brown haired girl that I saw from last night stepped in, her quivering eyes showing the heartbroken sadness that is about to come. "I thought you loved me."

"Katie, my darling flower, this isn't what it looks like-"

_SMACK!_

His attempt of false reassurance was met with a loud slap against his face as the girl finally burst into tears. "You told me I was the only for you! How could you do this to me?!"

Ouch, sucks to be him.

"But Katie, I-!" Katie ran off, heaving sobs from the pain inside her heart before the dishonest blond could finish. "Katie, wait!"

"So, it is true!" A different girl furiously spoke up, tromping over to the two-timing fop. I soon recognized her by the drill hairs she was sporting. "Katie this, Katie that! You've been flirting with that first year behind my back even when we're still betrothed to each other!"

"Ah, Montmorency, my beloved, this is clearly a misunderstanding between the both of us. I was simply-" He was cut off by second slap to the face.

"Don't give me your lies!" Montmorency barked. "I heard everything the moment you were stirring a ruckus with your flowery words!"

"And what is this?!" She snatched the small bottle out of the maid's hand and held it in front of the nearly shaken boy. "Now you're giving away my token of trust as if they are mere trinkets!? Have you no shame, Guiche!?"

"My dear, I can explain-!"

"There is nothing to explain about!" The drill haired girl uncorked the bottle and poured it down his head before storming off in her simmering rage of betrayal.

"Montmorency!" Guiche called after her, to no avail. "Please, give me a chance to make clear of my intentions!"

Most of the people around him, including Saito and I, naturally laughed at his unfortunate predicament because he had done well fucked up his little cheating system and paid the price for it. This, of course, managed to piss him off and the only thing he could do was either suck it up or cry like a bitch.

In his case, he chose to blame the person partly involved and nearest to him in order to poorly justify his excuse and escape from the responsibility of his obvious dishonesty.

"You there!" He pointed accusingly at a baffled Siesta. "How dare you break the hearts of two lovely maidens and have me falsely accused for such treachery that is your doing, lowly wench!"

Whoa, now that's uncalled for. She didn't do anything wrong, fuckwad.

"B-but I-I w-was only-!" The poor girl was stammering for an answer to correct and, trying at the same time, to find the words that would not offend him but ended up with a plea followed by a low bow instead. "-please forgive me for my insolence!"

"Come on, Guiche; just admit that you're at a fault instead of blaming the servant." A moderate green haired kid (Okay?) laughed at the unnecessary scene playing out.

"It is far too late for that!" He snapped, drawing closer to her with a raised hand. "For this mistake, I must enforce strict discipline for your imprudence! I will have you thrown out of this job!"

"Please, sir, I-!" Siesta winced, expecting the worse to come upon her. Before the slap even touched her delicate face, in comes Saito rushing in front of the frightened maid with a pissed off look that screamed "Are you fucking kidding me?".

Oh, but he wasn't the only one who wanted to kick some righteous ass onto a pompous prick. Just out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Shishak marching up with a heavy frown and knuckles cracking out like he was on his way to lecture the fool 'bandit style'.

As for me, naturally, I went and snuck through the slowly growing crowd of students forming around us to get behind the douchebag trying to lay his hand on the nice young lady just because he's uncool like that.

I also want to mentally scar him for life since I'm a dick like that sometimes just to teach him a lesson.

"All she did was to help you, idiot!" Saito shouted at the angry blond mage. "What the hell is wrong with you? Are all mages that arrogant and snobby to get away with everything!?"

"How DARE you address me in that tone, commoner! It seems your master is lax on her punishment." Guiche addressed him with loud chastisement. "Now get out of my way so I can deal with this personal matter that is just!" He pointed the wand at Saito's face in a form of a threat.

"Boy, you must have either been dropped on the head one too many times and went half-retarded or you were actually born dumber than bricks of shit to begin with." The undeniably shrill, but seriously deadly, voice of my enemy entered the heated conversation with a downright scary expression and an accurate statement that I couldn't agree anymore with.

This is gonna be good.

"Oh look, if it isn't the foul smelling twig with the hideously unkempt attire that rivals my flawless form that is I!" The fop proclaimed again with more dramatic flair.

"Oh look, a spoiled brat with poor manners and understanding." Shishak stated flatly.

This did not go well with the young blond as his spoken words dripped with venom, "You **dare**!"

The bandit leader did not even blink as he nodded solemnly, "Yes, I _dare_. Are you going to do something about it?"

Wow, look at him calling that boy out. Guess he's not a total pushover compared to the other bandits I've faced. Anyway, I'm going to continue to wait behind the boy Guiche until the right time; that's how an Aesop is delivered, I think.

Eh, it'll work.

Guiche brandished his wand to the tall man with a fierce scowl on his face as he spat out, "Indeed, I will, you filthy vagrant. In fact, I can rest assure that even with all four of the Zero's pathetic familiars against me, my magic will devastate you clueless louts into nothing; for I am a noble and you shall bow down to my might or else suffer the- ACK!"

"Suffer the 'ACK'?" Saito repeated and looked at him oddly before realizing what had just happened.

I've managed a chokehold around the blond brat's neck while further along creeping him out with my heavy breathing, pretending to get all giddy. "You _smeeeeeellll_ real good, boy."

Actually, he smells like flower-coated shit. Whatever was in that perfume makes me want to upchuck my lunch the longer I stay close to him.

He gave a soft whimper and tried to struggle out of my grasp, but I remedied that by pulling him closer. Just for kicks, I slowly begin to caress his cheeks to see if doing that would expose any insecure sexual orientation. Sadly, I only got him more agitated so he's probably not hiding in the closet.

"You know," I started with a creepy grin, "I could take you to my private little room and show you some things you've never seen before, boy."

Now he was really hoping a loose break would happen to him as he attempts another desperate wiggle, demanding _and_ begging me not to take his virginity away. The way he squealed almost made me giggle in glee, added with the equally horrified audience that held faces of terror and disgust.

"Please! I don't want to be fondled by a golem!" Oh good lord, he still thinks I'm a construct? No wonder Shishak's words rang straight and true.

"I'm not a golem, you retard." I chuckled, holding back a gag after another whiff. "Would a golem be able to actually pull off human mimicry so perfectly?" This made him pause for a bit to think on my words before getting back to pleading for his life.

"I don't want to be fondled by a man!" Guiche gave another cry, causing Saito and Shishak to laugh at his sudden change of word.

Siesta could only stare at the display of ridicule with a blank look plastered on her face while standing next to her other friend and another strange man guffawing away, treating it like a show. Well, one of them was laughing, the other person gave a sinister cackle that you would only hear from plotting mages in mystery novels.

"Familiar!" Goddamnit, Louise, really? "Release him this instant!"

"It's Farmer, get it right!" I called back.

With an exasperated growl she said again, "Farmer, release him this instant!"

"_What's the magic word~_?" Well, so much for pretending to be her slave.

". . ."

"C'mon, you know what it is."

A few more prodding then got her to cooperate as she casted a spiteful glare at me and said in a hard tone, "**Please**."

There you go! Was it really that hard?

I loosen the arms around the nearly scarred blond from my grasp and return the pinkette's stern leer with a victorious smirk after the cheating Casanova-wannabe scrambled away from me with much enthusiasm in fear.

And I was just getting to the good part.

"Don't think I won't let you get away with this! I demand an apology from you, wretched barbarian!" He cried out with his wand pointed at me.

I looked at him with a now turned nonchalant expression and gave a yawn before I could say anything else on my mind, "Hmm, uhhh, _no_. I don't need to satisfy your bruised ego with an undeserving apology from me if you're going to keep up with that dickish attitude; I'm not the one who was cheating on a girl in the first place. I'm not the one who was power tripping like a despicable twat high on his horses."

"Famil-" Louise tried to chastise me.

"Farmer!" I cut her off abruptly without much of a damn.

She took a trembling deep breath to keep her cool and tried again with a forcibly held calm this time without the temptation of snapping out. With temporary vigor, she looked up at me with intense eyes as she spoke.

"Farmer," the young mage resisted the urge to grind out my name, "apologize to Guiche immediately so that he might stay his hand from inflicting the wrath upon you and let this go with little consequences."

My head shook stubbornly at her foolhardy suggestion that I should take it without baring words of bite or raised fists against the douchebag and let him go scot free to cause another problem that will end up worse if no one bothers to intervene much like what Saito did. I wasn't going to let this blond joke of a romance go just like that; people like him are the reasons why there is still corruption lingering in the Ukrainian government and how much our military is hated for indulging themselves by shooting stalkers and taking our hard earned loot. Apology be damned, I'd rather he learn from his mistake now and stop the bullshit spewing out of his mouth for the sake of protecting some girl I barely even know than let him get away with everything.

"He tried to pin the blame on someone just to get away from his troubles. I'm not going to sully my dignity by kissing his ass. He's not getting my apology any time soon."

Unfortunately for me, Guiche wasn't going to take that as an answer and deepened his glare as he once again attempts another loud shaming announcement to embarrass me or something.

"Fine, if that is what you wish, then I challenge you to a duel!" He proclaimed in his ever annoyingly bold voice.

"Wait, like Yu-gi-oh? I don't know how to play that game." I accidentally blurted out my thought, failing to notice the confused expressions around me.

Saito shook his head at me, "He's not talking about THAT duel, Farmer."

"Oh," My head tilted to the side, "well, when he said 'duel' I thought he meant it like that."

"No. It's nothing like that, bro."

"Oh, really? What about Pokemon?" I asked again.

"It's not like Pokemon either." He gave me a funny look.

"If it's not any of those, then what about Magic: The Gat-"

"It's none of the things that involve card games, Farmer!" The boy exclaimed with mild exasperation. "He's talking about a physical fight between you and him. Meaning: You **hit** each other."

"Ooooooohhh, then why didn't he say so in the first place?" I gestured with a wave at the somewhat clueless Guiche staring at the both of us without realizing that he's being made fun of right now. "If he said he wanted to fight me, it would've been simpler to just say 'Let's fight' instead of using these fancy terminology."

Saito was just about to open his mouth for another small explanation before I cut him off, "Dude, I'm just fucking with you. I know what a duel is."

God, he's too slow to not get a running gag that we've just done minutes ago.

"Now's not the time to be fooling around in this situation." Shishak reminded. "If he wants a duel, then he will get his duel. Put him in his place, so to say."

I made a frigid scoff as he said this and crossed my arms, donning a shit-eating grin to show my amusement, "Please, by the time we're done with this dandy, he'll be wishing that he never met me."

"Coming from you, I'd have half a mind to stay the hell away from you if were in my city." Saito mentioned.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Came my cheeky reply.

"No big surprise," The bandit deadpanned, "I would not even trust you with my daughter if I need someone to watch her."

The left brow of my constantly shifting eyes covered by the visor goggles were raised at his comment as I made another tilt with my head, "You have a daughter?"

Louise could only palm her face at the inappropriate time for a casual conversation between the three of us while the onlookers shared puzzled looks and murmured at the small oddity that is still happening.

"Hey! I'm still here, you fool!" Guiche shouted over us to get our attention.

"Yeah, yeah, I haven't forgotten your sissy ass face yet. Not that I want to remember it, anyway." I responded with nonchalance. "Can you wait a little longer? We're having a debacle here."

"Absolutely not!" He yelled again. "I'm the one who should be demanding your unquestioning compliance, not the other way around!"

Urgh, no wonder I like being alone…

"If you're going to be an impatient prick about it, then we might as well get this over with." I finally turned to him, cracking my knuckles in the process. "Let's settle this, us against you."

Baffled and surprised more by my irrational words, the blond mage sent a shrewd frown at my direction and thought me crazy, "So now you are suggesting that I should allow myself to be at a disadvantage with your cowardly tactics?"

"Hey, I'm not the one who boldly announced that he can take on four familiars with his spectacular 'magic' and defeat them without breaking a sweat." I gave him my snark with a predator grin on the side. "If you want to prove me wrong, ask the crowd of witnesses surrounding us."

I thought I heard a sudden gulp from him when he shot a bitter glare at my cocky smile, shaking slightly in embarrassment from his unnoticed error after remembering what he said earlier. Another attempt of intimidation, no doubt, but his wavering stance betrayed whatever malicious intent he wanted to show as Guiche caught his voice with a tense tone that held a hint of silent outrage than the usual fake bravado he would always let on.

"I accept your challenge." He turned to the door tersely, but continued to speak over his shoulder. "All four of you will meet me at the Vestri Court so I can teach you the proper etiquette the next time you address a noble."

"Better make that three!" I called out. "The merc is nowhere to be found, but we don't need him to join in on the fun."

Instead of responding, he kept walking to the grand doors and exited out of the dining hall, leaving behind the three of us to ponder to ourselves on what to do next. Despite the obvious thing that we have to do, it never hurts to make preparations. Any battle fought expectedly or off-guard always require readiness no matter what it is.

"So, what now?" Saito asked as the crowd slowly dispersed, making their way to said-court that we knew nothing of.

"Now?" I started off with a genuine grin and gave him a hard pat on the back. "Now, we make preparations for the ass kicking. Ever fired a 9mm pistol, kid? Oh wait, of course you haven't; they don't allow guns in Japan. That makes it even better for the both of us."

"Are you sure it's wise to let him handle a firearm, Small Farmer?" Shishak's tone held concern, probably wary of the questionable course of action that I had in mind. "He is only a child."

"Yeah, he's a kid, but that didn't stop you Russians from using child soldiers in the earlier days of the motherland," My hand was already inside the backpack to fetch a Walker P9m that I also took the measure to be modified by Cardan in case I ever need another backup sidearm, "or anyone else living in a third-world country, so to speak. Beside, he's not going to survive long enough unless we teach him how to adapt like us."

"We?" The lanky blond stepped forward with his fists clenched and eyes narrowed. "What makes you think I am willing to turn him into a killer? He is not like us; we shouldn't expose the boy to what we've been through in the Zone."

"Honestly, coming from you, I'm rather surprised that someone of your profession would actually give a damn for a kid than take advantage of him."

An offended scowl grew on the bandit's face, "Not every 'bartender' is a cruel animal prowling for their next prey; some of us have a life outside and we try to make a reasonable profit with little violence as possible. Those were the good old days before we became nothing more than dishonorable beings."

"Oh yeah, sure, like robbing people of their hard-earned moolah and equipment is considered 'honorable'." I shot back angrily, but quietly, and pointed a finger at him. "It's people like you that give stalkers a bad name. Did you know that most of the few tourists that come to the Zone mistook us for you guys? Even a news reporter thought I was going to shake him down when I only wanted to be on camera and say hi to the cops."

Louise's frantically tight voice loudly interrupted us before the argument became more personal, "I don't know how all of you can be so calm without worrying about your demise! Commoners like you cannot defeat a mage, no matter the numbers or the skills you hold. This is outright madness!"

Madness? THIS. IS. STALKER!

I managed an amused chuckle at my inside joke before looking down at the pinkette sporting worriment in her expression.

"There's a first for everything, you know." I said, finally fishing out the Walker out of my pack. "You might be surprised by how well we can handle almost any given situation thrown at us; the armor I wear isn't just for show." I gave the padded vest a small pat after putting my backpack on to show off its sturdiness.

Siesta, on the other hand, disagreed with me entirely as she walked closer with frightened eyes and quivering lips, "Please, for all of your sakes, reconsider the duel before it is too late. I don't want my friends to die because of me! I can look for a new job elsewhere!"

Despite her kind words and the fact that she considered us (and god forbid, _me_) friends, I stubbornly refused to comply by shaking my head before handing the gun to Saito to which he managed to grasp without shooting off a round by accident. I need to teach him gun safety after this is over.

"What good are friends like us if we don't help you? This is our choice; I'm not going to let you lose your job all because some magic brat is putting his own problem onto someone like you and gets away with it. That is bullshit."

"What you are doing is beyond foolishness!" Louise pleaded. "If you go against Guiche, he will show all of you no quarter! Do you really wish to throw your lives away so carelessly over someone you know little of?"

Saito countered her argument with his own comment, "We are only doing the right thing for Siesta. Farmer is right, I'm not going to stand by and let this jerk get his way. I don't care about my reputation or my pride; I care for my friends who I can protect!"

"You're not going to do any good protecting them if you wound up dead!" she nearly shrieked, tears threatening to swell in her eyes. "A familiar is supposed to protect their master, while the master cares for them! Who will protect me if I cannot return my care to them?!"

Sheesh, no wonder this place gives me that annoying tingly sensation. There's hardly any humanity in these people. They could at least show some encouragement or go along with the plan and hope for the best.

And here I thought the Zone was filled with hopelessness. This magic land is just crap covered with a silk curtain; a bright fairy tale with a grim plot. I may be jumping to conclusion too soon, but everything about this place just screams contradiction. At least the Zone held some sense, even if nothing is sensible there.

Although, some part of Shishak's words did hit home when I didn't put much thought in having the kid involved. Hell, I gave him a gun without listening to his choice. I am such a shitty role model if I'm going to hand out guns to teenagers and expect them not to blow a digit off.

. . .

Maybe it's not too late to get him out of this; he has a bright future ahead of us. Prod him to the right direction; show him that making a smart move is not cowardice. But, will he listen?

I craned my head to my young friend and was about to ask him if this is his own final decision until I saw something that tickled my eyes as I saw him examine the Walker with his right hand and the unknown phenomenon showing on the other.

"Hey Saito, is it just me or is the Outsider trying to communicate with us?"

. . .

"Who?"

"…Never mind."


End file.
